16 rounds: Yes
4 principles: Yes
Hare krishna, maharaja, reciba mis humildes reverencias
todas las glorias a Srila Prabhupada
todas las glorias a Jayapataka swami
todas las glorias a sus santos pies
Junto con saludarle ofrecer mis respetos a su alma, vengo a contarle un poco de lo que he estado viviendo este ultimo tiempo, comienzo mi relato contándole que desde su ultima visita a Chile usted nos invito a conocer nuestra naturaleza desde este auto-conocimiento situarnos en que lugar estoy en el movimiento del señor Chaytania , yo me tome muy en serio esta instrucción, paralelamente por ese mismo tiempo Mahatma prabhu, estuvo enseñando de ir en busca de una buena yapa, también me di en la tarea de corregir las faltas que tenia al cantar mi yapa, desde 2004 que soy devota fija y constante en el tiempo, los últimos 5 años me desempeñaba en el servicio de la cocina de la deidad 24/7, de vuelta de mis vacaciones 2020, ya comenzó la pandemia y quede sin el servicio a sus señorias, mi alma deambulaba triste y en separación hasta que recibí la invitación y conocí FMP, fue literalmente mi salvavidas en lo que se refería a volver a un sadhana lleno de asociación, educación, e inspiración. Lo que experimente en los primeros meses fue como si le diera un segundo aire a mi vida espiritual se acomodo de tal forma que comencé a experimentar entusiasmo constante y gran conexión de nuevo con la lectura y sadhana fijo y determinado en el tiempo, me atreví este año a estudiar todo lo que siempre había deseado, bhakti sastri, jyotis, vastu sastri, y homas terapéuticos, en eso de auto-conocerme ya me he han leído 3 cartas astrologícas, con diferentes astrólogos vedicos y por mi misma ya que fue una de las pregunta de mi examen , descubrí que tengo una gran tarea de maestría para entregar, como krishna siempre esta deseoso del avance de su devoto, gracias a ASA, pude comenzar a explorar en mi YO predicadora, comenzando muy tímidamente a compartir mi sankirtan con la comunidad atraves de las clases, en ese ciclo de bendiciones en esta tarea pude participar dando semanalmente clases en Vaisnava Care Chile, muy feliz casi en mi clímax espiritual. Este tiempo han sido de momentos llenos de felicidad y entendimiento espiritual, y por otro lados algunos tormentos familiares y hasta la muerte de mi madre.
Entre suma y resta en la evolución de estos últimos tiempos, mis días hasta 26 de junio, avanzaban llenos de bhakti, entusiasmo y realización constante, hasta ese oscuro día, que ahora le vengo a relatar.
Ese día comenzó con mi participación en FMP, termine mis rondas, que hasta ese día siempre las terminaba antes de la clase SB, luego a las 8 am comencé mi Bhakti sastri, lo termine y me fui a mi servicio fijo de los sábados al medio día , de aquí nace mi primera pregunta ya que ese día mi mente esta muy inestable y no quería ir al servicio, me sentía un poco resfriada y toda la clase luche con mi mente para no faltar a mi servicio , (no le hice caso a mi sentimiento, ya que lo vi como una mala prueba de maya), ejecute mi servicio feliz como siempre ya la ofrenda recién había entrado al altar y yo estaba lavando las ollas cantando feliz y por detrás aparece mi agresor Piyari, y me mete su dedo en mi partes privadas de la parte inferior de mi cuerpo (Edited by ASA) y me pego una patada por detrás, luego el comienza a agredirme verbalmente, me decía que me tenia que matar para proteger a su persona, en sus abusos el aún más partes privadas de la parte inferior de mi cuerpo (Edited ASA) y la apretaba con mucha rabia mientras me insultaba verbalmente, yo gritaba pero mis gritos no daban resultados, paso mucho tiempo calculamos con los devotos que me auxiliaron que pudo ser mas de 10 minutos, tomo un frito de espinacas que estaban aun cocinando ya que era lo que quedaba de masa, lo tomo del fuego y quería que lo comiera lo que dio como resultado que se quemo mis labios y parte de mi cara, en un momento logro escaparme y el me azoto contra la puerta que colinda con el puyari y volvió a someterme agarrando anatomía privada y mi cuello ahí ya la muerte era el propósito en un pequeño espacio entre la puerta del altar y la pared, en ese momento entro el P.J.C.Das, el presidente actual del templo quien lo redujo y lo llevaron a su Habitación, yo entre llanto y dolor termine mi servicio, muy adolorida por los maltratos recibido y me tuve que ir caminando sola a mi hogar, medite mucho y al día siguiente fui a poner la denuncia estuve acompañada por P.Abhimaniu y su esposa Soledad, me acompañaron en todo el proceso, constate lesiones y todo.
Todo el evento aparte de ser muy agresivo y traumante, antes de atacarme a mi supe que agredió aun pequeño gatito que cuidan en el templo , todo este evento me lleno de un montón de frustraciones, mi participación en las clases de vaisnava care paro en ese mismo instante, al ser un evento que sucedió en el templo se volvió muy publico, recibí mucho apoyo, pero también me vi expuesta a dudas de algunas de los devotas que habían compartido residencia en el templo, una en especial me victimiso muchas veces, hasta llegar a decir que le daba vergüenza como en mi papel de victima dañaba los 3 años de servicio de mi agresor, eso me tuvo muy triste algunos otros devotos me pedían misericordia y entendimiento antes que ni mis dolores físicos se fueran, no fue muy asertivo pedirme que me quedara callada, o que entendiera que las mujeres son las que alteran al hombre, otra vez victimizada,( gracias a krishna el devoto que me hizo el alcance de los de las mujeres que alteran al sadhu,) con mucho sentimiento reconoció su error y yo acepte de corazón sus disculpas, con los dichos de Estefania Salazar Michelena ( petti ) que abogaba por mi agresor, krishna me ayudo a contestar sus citas con una gran clase que un devoto de vaisnava soul care , que tocaba todos estos tópicos de la agresión dentro de la comunidad , había muchas citas con respecto a esto, pude ver la mano de krishna al encontrarme con esta clase.
Estos días han sido algunos buenos y otros muy tristes, ya no tengo dolores en mi cuerpo, y quiero seguir firme en mis actividades espirituales y materiales, la noche se ha vuelto mi enemiga ya que al cerrar mis ojos se viene una y otras el evento, mis rondas aun no logro estabilizarlas las termino dentro del día me cuesta armonizarlas como antes, para mi todo fue muy traumante yo me sentí agredida, violentada, física y mentalmente, y en lugar más sagrado para mi la cocina de la deidad. Aun no le logrado volver a servir a las deidades , ya que me volví muy ermitaña y casi no quiero salir de aquí del hogar, gracias a krishna este hogar es mi mini templo y he volcado mi devoción aquí, con mis horas de kirtan, estudio y cuidado de mis tulasis, la semana pasada envié dulces a mis amados Parama Karuna y el prabhu raga sindu das, las vino a buscar y las llevo , he estado pensando que hasta que supere mi trauma podría servir de esta forma?
Maharaja, yo tenia pensado escribirle un informe de sadhana y contarle que ya me había titulado de Jyotis, pero tuve que hacerlo ahora ya que el día que vi el relato de mi agresor, si bien puedo verle como un enfermo mental, pero no vi nada de arrepentimiento en su relato, ademas surgieron un montón de inquietudes en mi mente,
1° en su respuesta usted le dice que extrañaba su asociación, eso me hizo cuestionar si era oportuno mi participación en ASA y todos sus programas, sintiendo que Él es familia, su discípulo y yo soy una apegada nada mas.
2° el otro sentimiento que tuve era que este mi agresor, no pagaría su falta de ningún modo, ni judicial, ni social, eso me frustro mucho, ya que mi predica hasta terapeuticamente siempre invito a hacernos cargos de nuestras acciones.
3° En el relato de sadhana, vi que este mi agresor no tiene aun conciencia real de la ofensa que hiso a mi alma a mi cuerpo y al espacio sagrado, dejando en evidencia que podemos hacer hasta lo mas aberrante y luego seguir presumiendo conciencia de krishna.
4° en mi poco entendimiento espiritual, aun no logro ver a un sociopata como un sadhu, y siento que fui usada para hacer cambios importantes en nuestra comunidad, y daré la lucha para que estos cambios sean implementados activamente y todos nos comprometamos que estos episodios nunca más se repitan.
Disculpe maharaja, cualquier ofensa en mi relato, esperando siempre contar con su asociación, inspiración y educación, para mi usted como mi guru instrucctor ha sido un pilar importante en todo lo que actualmente yo me desempeño.
rendida eternamente a los pies de Guru y Krishna.
me despido
Su sirvienta
Guru Govinda Dasi
-0-0-0-
Hare krishna, maharaja, receive my humble obeisances
all glories to Srila Prabhupada
all glories to Jayapataka swami
all glories to his holy feet
I begin my story by telling you that since your last visit to Chile you invited us to know our nature from this self-knowledge to know where I am in the movement of Lord Chaytania, I took this instruction very seriously, at the same time Mahatma prabhu was teaching me to go in search of a good yapa, I also took on the task of correcting my own nature, I also gave myself the task of correcting the faults that I had in chanting my yapa, since 2004 I am a fixed and constant devotee in time, the last 5 years I was working in the service of the kitchen of the deity 24/7, back from my vacation 2020, the pandemic began and I was left without the service to their lordships, my soul wandered sad and in separation until I received the invitation and met FMP.
It was literally my lifesaver in terms of returning to a sadhana full of association, education, and inspiration.
HpS - AGTSP..... Paoho.... I am not a great person. If Krsna said, "You are the most neophyte member of the FMP, ASA, sanga", I could accept it. At least were on the boat!! If this Sanga was not there, many days I would slip into the waves of sleep etc. Thank you for your strong participation.
What I experienced in the first months was as if I gave a second wind to my spiritual life, it settled in such a way that I began to experience constant enthusiasm and great connection again with reading and sadhana fixed and determined in time, I dared this year to study everything I had always wanted, bhakti sastri, jyotis, vastu sastri, and therapeutic homas, in that of self-knowledge I have already read 3 astrological charts, With different Vedic astrologers and by myself since it was one of the questions of my exam, I discovered that I have a great task of mastery to deliver, as Krishna is always eager for the advancement of his devotee, thanks to ASA, I could begin to explore my preaching self, starting very timidly to share my sankirtan with the community through the classes, in this cycle of blessings in this task I could participate giving weekly classes in Vaisnava Care Chile, very happy almost in my spiritual climax. This time has been full of moments of happiness and spiritual understanding, and on the other hand some family torments and even the death of my mother.
ASA - !
Between addition and subtraction in the evolution of these last times, my days until June 26, were full of bhakti, enthusiasm and constant realization, until that dark day, which I now come to tell you about.
HpS - Thank you. We are thousands of miles from Santiago and hear things from different devotees. We have not wanted to be aggressive in directly contacting your self because our abilities are so limited, but we have always been communicating with devotees like Jagata guru Das, ISKCON officials et al, and communicating that we are available to even talk directly with your good self and others so much intensely involved. We were happy that we finally got a direct letter from PMD rather than second hand, and now that we can hear from you, it is so much relief. So, so, very much! Thank you.
Dialogs in this Blog are nice because it hopefully gives us a level to see our ideas in the open family of ASA without being a public broadcast.
That day began with my participation in FMP, I finished my rounds, that until that day I always finished them before the SB class, then at 8 am I started my Bhakti sastri, I finished it and I went to my fixed Saturday service at noon, from here my first question was born because that day my mind was very unstable and I did not want to go to the service, I felt a little cold and the whole class I fought with my mind not to miss my service, (I did not pay attention to my feeling, since I saw it as a bad test of maya), I executed my service happy as always and the offering had just entered the altar and I was washing the pots singing happily and from behind appears my aggressor Piyari, and he puts his finger on private parts of my lower body (edited by ASA) and kicked me from behind, then he begins to verbally assault me, He told me that he had to kill me to protect his person, in his abuses he took even more private parts of my lower body (edited ASA) and squeezed it with great rage while he verbally insulted me, I screamed but my screams did not give results, it took a long time, we calculate with the devotees who helped me that it could be more than 10 minutes, he took a fried spinach that was still cooking since it was what was left of the dough, He took it from the fire and wanted me to eat it which resulted in burning my lips and part of my face, in a moment I managed to escape and he whipped me against the door that adjoins the puyari and again subdued me grabbing my private anatomy and my neck there and death was the purpose in a small space between the altar door and the wall, at that moment entered Fr. J.C. Das, the current president of the temple who reduced him and took him to his room, I between crying and pain finished my service, very sore from the abuse received and I had to walk home alone, I meditated a lot and the next day I went to file the complaint I was accompanied by P. Abhimaniu and his wife Soledad, accompanied me throughout the process, I checked injuries and everything.
HpS - ASA -- 😖
I feel very, very, very sad to hear this. The intensity, duration and gravity of the assault was never communicated to us. The day after it happened you were in the FMP, no? I tried to mention the incident indirectly to you to see if it was too painful to discuss, and you gave a modest answer that led us to think that it had not been so, so, so terrible and that you were dealing with it physically and psychologically like a saint, much above what we might expect from our selves.
This is terrible that we did not know about this.
It is terrible that you had to go home alone, that there was no one to help you immediately, yet it is good that J.C. Das was there to help. To subdue PMD in his insanity and call the police and the Jagat and Carolina went with you.
Ooof.
The whole event apart from being very aggressive and traumatic, before attacking me I knew that he attacked a small kitten that they take care of in the temple, this whole event filled me with a lot of frustrations, my participation in the Vaisnava Care classes stopped at that moment, being an event that happened in the temple it became very public, I received a lot of support,
But I was also exposed to doubts from some of the devotees who had shared residence in the temple, one in particular victimized me many times, to the point of saying that she was ashamed of how in my role as a victim I damaged the 3 years of service of my aggressor,
HpS - As I have heard things to this point, that does not sound true. It sounds more like he was jut projecting his delusions upon you with not much more participation by you than we find from the white screen on which the movie is projected.
That made me very sad
HpS-ASA - Us also, but we hope there are sane devotees in every part of ISKCON who can give us some practical solace and then Srila Prabhupada and Krsna can give us complete solace to understand why things are happening.
Draupadi went through terrible experiences.
The girls in Vraja were so terrified by Kesi demon's roaring that they had miscarriages!
Devakis babies were killed.
Subhadra's boy, Abhimanyu was killed... but these are devotees who could see that there must be a perfectly good content to these activities as we can see them from Krsna's perspective. I have gone through experiences so painful in ISKCON as a helpless Brahmacari and Sannyasis that I was even crying. Takes a lot to make grown man cry, but chanting, chanting, chanting, always brought me to good understanding and I even saw what appeared to be directly the hand of Krsna in protecting me and chastising wrong doers.
Some other devotees asked me for mercy and understanding, before even my physical pains were gone, It was not very assertive to ask me to keep quiet, or to understand that women are the ones who upset the man,
HpS - Fire and gasoline. They upset each other.
Again victimized, (thanks to Krishna the devotee who made me the scope of the women who upset the sadhu) with much feeling he recognized his mistake and I accepted his apology from my heart, with the sayings of Estefania Salazar Michelena ( petti ) who advocated for my aggressor, Krishna helped me to answer his quotes with a great class that a devotee of vaisnava soul care , that touched all these topics of aggression within the community , there were many quotes regarding this, I could see the hand of krishna in meeting with this class.
HpS - Here we cannot understand the details of who said, what, or who apologized et al, but basically we are all friends in the real world, spiritual world, but we get into conflicts here. So, we have to always act as the servant of everyone, then we will never be frustrated.
PMD apologized???? Or was it the devotee who said that you were the cause of his insane violence and delusion???
You see, it is really impossible for me to get involved from so far away, different language etc.
We can offer these regular online programs. Blog exchanges were the ASA community can give some light to this. We can be involved with GBC, Temple President et al, and even phone talks to some degree.
This is very important.
As long as we are in the material world this will happen.
It is designed this way.
Want to leave?
If we stay as psychologists and policemen then we see how the violence can be therapeutic.
These days have been some good and others very sad, I no longer have pains in my body, and I want to continue firm in my spiritual and material activities, the night has become my enemy because when I close my eyes the event comes again and again, my rounds I still can not stabilize them I finish them during the day it is difficult to harmonize them as before, for me everything was very traumatic I felt assaulted, violated, physically and mentally, and in the most sacred place for me the kitchen of the deity.
HpS - ASA --- If something like this happens again we hope that by Krsna's mercy, you have a chance to knock the aggressor on the head with a pot before he attacks you! Also, we have a chance to knock on the head if it happens to us .... and we take His lesson that we must be more serious about getting out of this place.
That we are getting what we have done to others.
Getting some of the pain we have cause by paying for cows to be killed etc.
Thanks to Krishna this home is my mini temple
ASA - Why Mni-Temple! Best and most important in ISKCON! 💪 🐘
And I have turned my devotion here, with my hours of kirtan, study and care of my tulasis, last week I sent sweets to my beloved Parama Karuna and the prabhu raga sindu das, he came to pick them up and took them, I have been thinking that until I overcome my trauma I could serve in this way?
HpS - Seems good. Consult professionals, local people for extra help, but seems O.K.?
Maharaja, I was planning to write you a sadhana report and tell you that I had already qualified from Jyotis, but I had to do it now because the day I saw the story of my attacker, although I can see him as mentally ill, but I did not see any repentance in his story, besides a lot of concerns arose in my mind,
1° in your answer you tell him that you missed his association, that made me question if it was opportune my participation in ASA and all its programs, feeling that he is family, his disciple and I am just a follower.
HpS - No, No, No, No, No!!! I would feel so much more worse if the disciple of one of my Godbrothers was hurt, insulted, humiliated, abused in my Yatra than even my own disciple. It is such a disgrace and shame to all of us.
When I answered PMD letter I had not heard the intensity and nature of his assault. I had never heard of any medication etc that he was on before the crime.
We want to know people more deeply, but it takes time. If it he was overcome by his mind, devils, and afterwards was sincerely ashamed and doing all possible to compensate you for your great loss, then that is one thing. You are a lawyer, no? You know that any of us can go temporarily insane, but... it if we are enjoying the insanity, that is another thing, and such devotee needs strong words and control.
Krsna forgave Kaliya but He did not let him stay in Vraja.
We want everyone to get better, no?
Do you?
If we cannot, if we are Madhyama adhikaris, then we avoid these demons, even in devotees and preach to the innocent and make friendship with the devotees.
The letter I wrote to him I see now is correct, but it does not deal with the broader story as I now hear it.
Our GBC Secretary Whatsapped me immediately and I asked to even talk with him, which we did, as soon as you contacted him. Can we respond to these things and make our institution, Iskcon, capable of maintaining save centers? Big challenge, but would be so, so important if we can make the changes to open the Temple again, always remembering that even in Braja when Krsna was personally present there were demons, and that always have to be ready to chant Hare Krsna, Hare Rama, to call for the personal hand of Krsna.
We want to save, me, you, PMD, the cat, J.C.D....
2° The other feeling I had was that my aggressor would not pay for his fault in any way, neither judicially nor socially, that frustrated me a lot, since my preaching, even therapeutically, always invites us to take responsibility for our actions.
HpS - He should pay in all these ways. Again as a therapeutically experienced person you know that people have demons in them, Vasanas, Karma, that sometimes takes just as much control as our bodily functions. So, we included that. Krsna did not kill Asvattama, but He had the jewel cut off his head.
Indra he forgave easily, but Brahma He was a little stern.
3° In the story of sadhana, I saw that this my aggressor still has no real conscience of the offense that he did to my soul, to my body and to the sacred space, leaving in evidence that we can do even the most aberrant thing and then continue presuming krishna conscience.
HpS - As we know the incident, no nice devotee, no real disciple of Srila Prabhupada, member of ISKCON, will tolerate this offense. On the other hand, he may still very well be delusional.
He may have been holding these devils in and trying to be an exalted devotee to get love and attention, but then stopped taking his medication with the subconscious intention of exposing the devil so that he could get help.
It was only because Draupadi went through Duryodhana's assault that he (a Raksasa) was able to realize that there are limits to arrogance, and that, yes, he did do something wrong when he was rapacious to such and innocent lady.
Of course, that may be a completely incorrect understanding of his situation. We are just making suggestions from three thousand miles away based upon what we know.
Hare Krsna.
4° in my little spiritual understanding, I still cannot see a sociopath as a sadhu, and I feel that I was used to make important changes in our community, and I will fight for these changes to be actively implemented and we all commit ourselves that these episodes will never be repeated.
HpS - Api cet suduracaro, BG 9.30... Duracaro = Bad actions. SuDurAcaro = Abominable. Activities. Even a Sadhu can fall into abominable activites, but, this is not from his heart.
We must always fight the demons, but we have put ourselves in the mental hospital, the prison, so it will happen again. Samika Rsis was ghastly insulted by Maha Parishit, for no apparent fault on his part.
We will do our duty to fight disturbances in the Temple. We will counter Maya's new techniques so that she will have to be more creative. In that way we will make the Yatra, the Temple, an umbrella in Kali yuga, but it will always happen, but the Draupadi's will see the golden lining in the dark cloud and get better and better at using it, no? We will teach people that trick.
I apologize maharaja, for any offense in my story, hoping to always count on your association, inspiration and education, for me as my instructional guru you have been an important pillar in all that I currently perform.
Eternally surrendered at the feet of Guru and Krishna.
I bid you farewell
Your servant
Guru Govinda Dasi
HpS-ASA - I hope our perspective is more clear now after receiving this essential letter frm you. We hope that we can really go to the paramahamsa vision, never neglect anyone, but understand, that when they are n Jaya and Vijaya bodies we bow to them, and when they are in Ravana and Kumba karma bodies we fight, bash, them.
.
