Seeking Instruction Guru Maharaj
Dear Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my humble obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda, all glories to your service, and all glories to all the Vaiṣṇavas.
I am writing with a repentant heart to beg forgiveness for the time I have wasted and the many opportunities for service that I have neglected. I can see more clearly how laziness, distraction and attachment to material comfort have covered my intelligence and caused me to fall short of your instructions and expectations. Whatever progress I have made is only by your mercy, and whatever distance has come between my ideal and my actual life is entirely due to my own lack of sincerity.
I deeply regret my sinful nature and carelessness that have arisen in my rebellious thoughts, words and deeds, and I pray that you may kindly overlook these faults and allow me to begin again.
By your mercy, I have understood that human life is very short and extremely precious, and that every moment not used in Kṛṣṇa’s service is simply a loss that can never be regained. Remembering Śrīla Prabhupāda’s emphasis on strict sādhana and practical engagement in devotional service, I feel ashamed that I have not fully taken shelter of the process you have given me and have frivolously allowed myself to become victimized by maya.
Instead of using my time for hearing, chanting and service, I have too often allowed myself to be distracted by temporary goals, self-aggrandizement and sense enjoyment. Now I am praying for the strength to give up these tendencies and to realign my life completely with your instructions.
With this mood, I wish to humbly submit one earnest request at your lotus feet. I desire to dedicate myself as a full‑time brahmacārī in your service, under your guidance and under the authority of your representatives. I understand that this ashram requires strict celibacy, simplicity, obedience, and full engagement in devotional service, rising early, attending maṅgala‑ārati, chanting the prescribed rounds, following the four regulative principles, and accepting whatever service is given without personal consideration. Knowing my conditioned nature, I do not trust my own strength, but I have faith that by your mercy and by the association of serious devotees, I can be re‑trained and gradually become a useful instrument in your mission.
Therefore I beg you not to reject this fallen soul. Please kindly engage me in whatever full‑time brahmacārī service you consider appropriate, be it temple service, preaching, menial work, or any other duty that will help purify my heart and keep me always close to the shelter of your instructions. If you so desire, I am ready to adjust my external situation, relocate, or accept whatever austerity is necessary to live as a proper brahmacārī in ISKCON, always remaining loyal to Śrīla Prabhupāda’s society and to your lotus feet. Kindly correct me, guide me, and chastise me as you see fit, but please never withdraw your mercy from me. I am presently in the United Kingdom but also have a passport for Australia, where I was initiated (via ritvik) in 2018.
Your aspiring servant and unworthy disciple,
Janardan-hari dasa.
HpSwami - Hare Krsna. We cannot immediately place your form and actions.
Under what circumstances did we initiate you??