asa[e] - vad; sannyasa; in iskcon
Please accept my humble obeisances, Guru Maharaja.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Regarding your question about taking Sannyasa, this is a very important question, because it is you who is asking it.
For the moment, I must say that I am not prepared (although it feels difficult and lacking to say No to one's own Guru).
At the same time, I will explain myself and seek your understanding.
I am about to turn 40 years old. My mind and nature are solitary and content, and in a few years, they will mature further in that direction.
I have many desires to read and study various things, both in spirituality and material pursuits, achieving a certain balance and realization.
Personally, I enjoy speaking and assisting devotees when they ask questions, or nurturing ideas so that they don't lose their enthusiasm or faith, or both.
Due to my passionate nature, there is always something new to investigate or learn, and the Vedic worldview does not allow for giving up.
However, it is difficult for me to be in a position (sannyasa) that sets me apart from others, especially within an institution with a lot of diplomacy (bureaucracy), which I find exhausting. One knows oneself in their heart; I try to be a simple servant, making an effort to rise above the modes of passion and ignorance.
HpS - 😁 This is almost exactly my answer to Hansadutta (and then B. S. Damodara, Trivikrama, Ramesvara and Tripurari Swamis and Atreya rsi Prabhu) when they pushed us to take Sannyasa.
"The purpose of Sannyasa seems to be to get free from respect and worship, but it seems to be the exact opposite."
Srila Prabhupada quotes a V. Puja offering from Sril Bh. Siddhanta S. P. where is he says that Majaprabhu preaches Trnad Api Sahisuna, but here I (Bh. Siddhanta) am sitting like a big arrogant beast up on an elevated seat above everyone else.
The conclusion is that in most cases it is the best thing to do.
We have to show people an example of what they should do.
It is like having a public wedding ceremony. You and your "novia" are fully committed to living a chaste Vedic life together, but the ritual is not without meaning.
It has an effect.
It makes you humble, "Why are all these people offering obeisances, donations to me???"
"Because they see Krsna and Prabhupada acting through me."
Unless you realize that you are the mailman and not the sender of the letter, then you will fall down.
I follow the regulative principles and chant the 16 rounds. I understand the advantages this has in life. Brahma Muhurta is crucial in the equation, as are Ekadasis. Reading and memorizing are enjoyable and uplifting.
I spend 4 days a week in Govardhan (MDP), attending 4 Mangalartiks, sometimes 3. 3 days in Mar del Plata at a devotee's house, studying welding and electricity from 2:00 PM to 9:30 PM on Mondays and Tuesdays, and electricity from 6:40 PM to 9:30 PM on Wednesdays. I return to Govardhan on Thursday morning.
I cook most of the food I offer, although there are some items that I don't cook and it shows; this should improve over time, I believe.
I associate only with married devotees or those who intend to marry (good devotees). Nevertheless, I interact with others as needed (since it happens naturally). I have a strong sense of my purpose, and my nature doesn't lend itself to much socializing.
Enthusiasm: reading, Mangala Japa, and Ekadasis; I also watch Mayapur TV. I also engage in Prajalpa, watch some movies or series, but I recognize that these are temporary pleasures, and there's some inertia from this life.
I still discuss worldly topics, perhaps in this lifetime we will reach a point where we only speak Krishna Katha.
HpS - Or see how everything is related to Krsna in a fascinating, practical way.
I have distanced myself from senior devotees who visit. I try to be respectful and maintain a distance, as otherwise, it might not be good for my enthusiasm.
The plan is to continue studying electricity and other trades this year and the next, while also studying the Srimad Bhagavatam, slokas, fire sacrifices, etc. I am laying the groundwork for the future. My parents are now 74 and 70, and my plan is to spend a few months with them in 2025 and then return to Govardhan. This is what I can project.
Looking at this panorama, I don't see myself ready for renunciation, nor do I understand it in the way I currently perceive it. Being a public figure is also a significant obstacle.
Thank you for accepting me as your disciple, despite my circumstances, and for being an example. Please forgive me for talking so much about myself.
At your service,
Adi Yajña Das
HpS - Jaya! Super. Personally I think you are excellent candidate for Sannyasa. You can show everyone how even the greatest idiot in ISKCON must become Goswami and if in a male body try to take Sannyasa formally as a declaration of becoming exclusively a maidservant of the Gopis in their service to Krsna.
The GBC rules, as we remember, are that you mist be 50-years old except for special adjustments.
So, your plan seems good, but it seems that you and most others as discussed should take Sannyasa. Seems we may formally be gone from this gross atmosphere ten years from now. Maybe we will take birth in New Govardhana. 🙂 😼😼😼
but Yadunandana Swami seems like someone who would be a deligtful Sannysa Guru.