Hare Krishna Maharaja! All glories to Gaura Nitai & Radhe Shyam! All glories to Srila Prabhupada and to Vaisnavas such as yourself!
As the years pass I learn so many new things, such as this world is so very horrendous and difficult to exist within, it can be easier if one is intelligent and fixed in determination, however I neither have much intelligence or spiritual determination. I am grateful for the last 6 years of becoming exposed to Krsna Conscioussness and associating with many different devotees and sanghas since then,
however, I feel that I was so naive and immature when I "joined" iskcon and that is why my practice never has solidified or remained consistent for more than a few months at a time. Due to my fickle mind and unstable material circumstances I always would end up back at my parents farm or I would run off and travel around, sometimes with devotees and sometimes not.
The last year has been very eye opening, although sadhana and assocation hit zero at some points. I see that I am totally a crazy person that has no stability, but I have seen enough random places, events and people that I am piecing together my own self and ambitions. Somehow Krsna keeps sending young people my way mostly via social media and I try to be a friend and share what I know about and generate some interest in higher consciousness with them.
If they are ripe I go right into Bhakti philosophy. A few of these kids are actually living in temples now or chanting on beads and reading SP books. So in this regard I feel my seemingly random life and travels has amounted to something positive and productive.
ASA - Vartmana pradarshika guru.
If things continue on this trend it looks like there will be an army of radical youngsters following me and I shall use that opprotunity to build eco-villages, orchards and gardens all over. And also I will encourage some to finish college and go on to infilitrate culturally signifigant positions in society. In this way I believe it will be possible to drastically improve the situation on our Planet.
This is all strategy and theory......of course the real thing is pure bhakti, but if it is possible to create a more favorable social landscape then perhaps this Krsna consciousness philosophy would spread faster and sink in deeper due to generating a more sattvic and concious undertone in human society.
With that all being said.... I hope that I am done being a wandering dreamy hipster and I can start to really hone in exclusively on my Krsna Consciousness practice. If my tendency is to be a leader to young hippies then I hope that can safely be engaged in service to the Sankirtan movement.
Please give your blessings that I can progress closer to the goal of Vraja Prema. I hope to see you soon and somehow render some service. Maharaja I am very frustrated with myself and the people in general and this material world.
You are one of the only people that I still believe in and trust.....So what do you think Maharaja? Is there hope for me, or am I severely delusional and need to just get my act together or I will end up in Hell?
HARE KRISHNA RADHE SHYAM JAYA SRI VRINDAVAN DHAM!
ALL GLORIES TO HIS DIVINE GRACE SRILA PRABHUPADA!
HpS - Hare Krsna! Is good report. At every level there are challenges to advance. From Vaikuntha to Mathura for example. Join the Full Morning Program on line regularly. Write here regularly.
We go back to Nashville tomorrow.