Hare Krsna Dear Gurudeva

Por favor acepte mis humildes reverencias.

Todas las glorias a Srila Prabhupada!!!

Acabo de recibir su mensaje de WhatsApp. Le agradezco mucho que se tome un tiempo para preocuparse por nosotros. 

Ahora tenemos un mejor plan de datos, suficiente para soportar la conexión en Gootomeeteng… 

Pero no quiero incomodar a nadie ahí con los chismes que giran a mi alrededor. Estoy tomándome un tiempo prudente para volver a conectarme a sus programas. Los sigo por Facebook en tiempo diferido, y no completos, porque para ser sincero aún no me repongo del hecho de no poder estar ahí sirviendolo… 

Estoy sintiéndome muy ansioso por estar en asociación con devotos, extraño el Kirtan, Harinam… Las clases ya las había dejado de dar desde hace varios meses…

Estoy cantando mis rondas diariamente... Pero me falta mucho la asociación… Y apesar de saber que los verdaderos amigos son muy, muy pocos, siempre considero que los devotos son mi familia, y me siento mal de estar lejos de ellos… 

Me estoy refugiando en el Santo Nombre en japa, y escucho Kirtan, o hago un poco aquí… Pero no es igual como cuando estás con los devotos…

Escuche unos chismes desafortunados sobre mí, pero he decidido quedarme callado… Y solo responder a quien me pregunte… 

Los verdaderos amigos siempre preguntan, menos mal…

De todos modos no quiero hablar públicamente de ese tema, no mucho por mí, sino por aquellos involucrados a quienes les pueda afectar… Hice una promesa de quedarme callado y aceptar todo, y solo contarle mi verdad a Ustted, y algunos, como lo hice en la carta que le envié… Estoy tratando de que mi ego no aflore y responder lo mínimo, y quedarme callado, incluso si fuera injusto o no sea verdad lo que se dice… Intentaré superarlo… Me repito constantemente que soy responsable completamente de esta situación, eso me ayuda a tolerar lo que venga… Y lo que menos quiero es afectar más a todos los que les afecto esta situación… 

He pensado mucho en dejar Iskcon, dejar Perú, este cuerpo, pero el tiempo, Arjuna, Margie, y Karuna me están ayudando mucho a superar esos complejos mentales…

Pero no se que voy a hacer… Usted tiene alguna idea para nosotros? 

Me siento extraño buscando trabajo, pensando en hacer algún negocio, o un lugar para radicar...

Planifique mi vida para estar estos años con Usted… Soy conciente de haberlo arruinado… Quizás me quedé chance para poder estar en Vrndavan con Usted… a menos que Usted me sugiera otra cosa… Nosotros pensamos hacer todo lo posible para encontrarlo en Vrndavan… 

Por ahora hemos decidido solo "respirar" quizás pronto aparezca un buen plan.. Y cuando tengamos fuerzas de nuevo, empezaremos a colectar para los pasajes a India…

No creo tener la pureza para ir a Goloka en esta vida, pero cada vez estoy más seguro de que este mundo material es un lugar muy incómodo para estar… Muchas gracias por toda su ayuda, todos estos años…

Su aspirante a sirviente AmD.

Hare Krsna Dear Gurudeva

Please accept my humble obeisances.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada !!!

HpS - Hare Krsna! So nice to hear from you. FMP/KD PC are not the Full Morning Program/Kapi Dhvaja Priority Codes. Those are the names of the priority code. We give the FMP PC on request each morning during the FMP, and in the KDh each fortnight.

Using them as the PC is like trying to eat the word "apple" written on a piece of paper. 🙂

I just received your WhatsApp message. I really appreciate you taking the time to care about us.

HpS - AgtSP! You certainly deserve that and more!! Forgive us that we are not more sincere in serving the devotees.

Now we have a better cell phone data-plan, enough to support the connection in Gootomeeteng ...

But I don't want to bother anyone there with the gossip that revolves around me. I am taking a reasonable amount of time to reconnect to your programs. I follow them on Facebook in a delayed time, and not complete, because to be honest I still have not recovered from the fact of not being able to be there serving him ...

HpS - You can use a pseudonym like HKDas.

I am feeling very eager to be in association with devotees, I miss Kirtan, Harinam ... I had already stopped giving classes for several months ...

I am chanting my rounds daily ... But I lack association a lot ... And despite knowing that true friends are very, very few, I always consider devotees to be my family, and I feel bad being away from them ...

HpS - If we are chanting, following four principles, readin Sp's books then it is like the fruit on a tree. If it is growing healthy then that means that the root is healthy. Whatever has happened did not damage the root.

I am taking refuge in the Holy Name in japa, and I listen to Kirtan, or do a little here ... But it is not the same as when you are with the devotees ...

I heard some unfortunate gossip about myself, but I have decided to keep quiet… And only answer to those who ask me…

True friends always ask, thank goodness ...

Anyway I do not want to speak publicly about that issue, not much for me, but for those involved who may be affected ... I made a promise to keep quiet and accept everything, and just tell my truth to you, and some, as I did. in the letter I sent you ... I am trying to keep my ego from coming out and answering the least, and keeping quiet, even if it is unfair or what is said is not true ... I will try to overcome it ... I constantly repeat myself that I am completely responsible for this situation , that helps me to tolerate what comes ... And what I least want is to affect more to all those who are affected by this situation ...

I have thought a lot about leaving Iskcon, leaving Peru, this body, but time, Arjuna, Margie, and Karuna are helping me a lot to overcome those mental complexes ...

But I don't know what I'm going to do ... Do you have any ideas for us?

I feel strange looking for work, thinking of doing a business, or a place to settle ...

I planned my life to spend these years with You ... I am aware that I have ruined it ... Maybe I stayed a chance to be in Vrndavan with You ... unless you suggest otherwise ... We intend to do everything possible to find you in Vrndavan ...

For now we have decided to just "breathe" perhaps a good plan will appear soon .. And when we have the strength again, we will start collecting for the tickets to India ...

I don't think I have the purity to go to Goloka in this life, but I am more and more sure that this material world is a very uncomfortable place to be ... Thank you very much for all your help, all these years ...

Your would-be servant AmD.

HpS - Yes, we can talk a little in private, but all I have heard was just a little description of some misunderstandings in Arrequipa from Patraka Das who was asked to give some advice about the situation and was certainly everyone's friend.

Would be nice project to write down all the problems we have in the SB, and then. . . how they were solved.

If Srila Vedavyasa and Maharaja Bharata can have such problems what to speak of us, no?

You seem to be on the correct path with as much sincerity as anyone else!

We will talk with you as soon as possible.

We really need your association!!!



Hare Krsna, Guruji Maharaja, Dandavat Pranam!

All Glories to Sri Krsna, Sri Gouranga Mahaprabhu, and Goura Bhakta Brinda.

Please accept my humble obeisances unto the padmacharan of Guruji Maharajah that I am so so sorry that I could not communicate You the opinion of H.H. Bhakti Ananda Haridasa Goswami Maharaja in relation to my previous letter. He came from Gauhati yesterday only, He advise me to talk directly when He is in Manipur, Imphal so I wait and took a long time. As Guruji’s desire, I am enclosing herewith His writings as under : “ Regarding my experience about PARNALIKA SYSTEM of devotional service or Gopi Bhava seva ……… I was being an initiated devotee of the said path would like to inform you that it is not at all authentic as well as it is a disciplic succession. To serve Krsna as in the form of one of the gopis plus manjuris as entitled or selected according to one’s initial local pseudo spiritual master ……. what is not at all practical today. But a few of our fanatic Manipuri Vaisnavas appreciate this culture as sublime ……. that is all.”

In the discussion, it is also mentioned that “at the time of Sannyasa only, this matter is discussed”. It means that, Gurujis (Sanyasis) got the names of Sakhi-Manjari). If it is true, then we are unqualified, OK. No need to think about it on our stage.

Really speaking, I was influenced by Partha Sarathi Das & Nanda Gopa (Nandakishore Sharma) and came to ISKCON. They are my Shiksha Gurus. The ideas of Shakhi-Manjari are the opinion/guideline of them. They have experience with both systems and continue as ISKCON bhaktas. Now, my simple question is what is harmful to following the path observing the ISKCON rules? As I had mentioned earlier in my previous letter that I want to take the Sakhi-Manjari name as ISKCON bhakta. Guruji! Save me from the Nama Aparadhas no. 3 of the 10 (to disobey the instructions of Spiritual Master). Yes, it is fact that the Manipuri Vaisnavas are not observing the four principles.

Guruji! I am so so sorry, excuse me thousands of times because I had wasted Guruji’s valuable time, energy, and mind unnecessarily for an unqualified (kaniska) bhakta.

Yours fallen servant,

Yamunesvara Das                                       

HpS - No, not waste of time. These are important topics to discuss. First thing is I don't know the details of the Manjari yoga system that exists in Manipur. That is why I suggested you talk with Haridasa Maharaja.

In general, we are following Rupa Goswami as authorized representative of Lordby Caitanya. We have Bhakti rasamrta sindhu which is complete science of Bhakti yoga Srila Prabhupada's summary study, Nectar of Devotion, and then other books by him and Sanatana Goswami etc. Our Sampradaya is well versed in the teachings and practice of Lord Caitanya's path.

This is summarized in Nectar of INstruction in the last paragraph of Text Eight. Also, in the verse adau sraddha... We do not have to take Sannyasa formally to realize our intimate relationship with Krsna. Even in Grhasta ashrama like Bhakti vinode Thakura we can go through:

1. sraddha
2. sadhu sanga
3. bhajana kriya
4. anartha nivrtti
5. nistha
6. ruci
7. asaktis
8. bhava prema.

At the level of ruci, after becoming fixed like a Swami in following four principles, Mangala arati, all the practices, we can begin to experience our Svarupa and stimulate that realization. It may be Manjari bhava or it may be as one of Krsna's flutes or garlands, or as one of his parents, uncles etc.

At that point we realize our name and service in the spiritual world, by waking up!

O.K.

Read 7 and 8 in NOI and see if it becomes clear.

Hare Krishna, Gurudev,

Please accept my humble obeisances,

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada,

Here we are struggling with our purification!!

HpS - Here we are doing the same!!

Thank you so much for all you are giving to human society!!

HpS - Again, the same to you and so many good people in this world, no?

We were thinking our life is tough, then we heard about Bangladesh devotees.

Our dear wife Julieta is 34 weeks pregnant, a baby girl, Margarita. We were extra busy making arrangements for new family member and we lost our Japa pace. We chanted 6 rounds for two weeks, then we Started to feel dull and we realized that nothing is worthy without 16R 4P.

HpS - Yes, again and again we realize that trying to do anything, having accepted Srila Prabhupada, Lord Caitanya, as our Acharyas, without nice rounds is like trying to increase our work by giving up eating properly. Everything will increase at the maximum possible rate if we increase our Japa vrata in intensity and purity.

We are back in track. We feel there is no better place to be in than Iskcon. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

ASA - !!!

We have the fortune to witness everyday how everybody is suffering in this external energy, dhukalayam asavatam. So even though we can remember this on a daily basis, we have no taste for Japa, we just do it to feel better, as a duty.

HpS - Yet, I suspect that the medicine is working and you are changing at the root. Tada gada mula hantri. Our Yoga, religion, may not change the superficial stuff so much, but it reaches for the root. Then the tree full of snakes on the banks of the river will just wash away in the flood of death because it has no roots.

Maybe we can go to Santa Eulalia to visit you in february. We admire how my godbrothers are serving you.

HpS - You can act as a representative of much of the population of ISKCON Argentina. We can organize a symposium on medical science and the Vedas.

We are helping to push Sri Govardhan rural project. Trying to serve devotees here!!

Family, work and health are ok. 

Thank you Gurudev,

You are a lighthouse,

Your fool apprentice,

Nikunja Bihari das.

ASA - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret Margarita means pearl !?



Dear Maharaj,

PAMHO AGTSP

Maharaj, thank you so much for your time and wonderful guidance despite so many health problems! You dedication to serving Guru and Krsna is unfathomable 🙏!

HpS - Hmmm! 60% sincere??? AGTSP!!!!

My limited capacity, becomes enough due to your guidance 🙏. Trying to maintain decent sadhana. Chant 16 rounds 5:30am (sometimes unable due to insomnia/anxiety caused by marriage. Those days I try to chant up to 32rnds to make up for it). 1hr hearing daily, and 1hr reading (not stable yet). Aartis I haven't been able to include yet. Cleaning and cooking regularly. Trying to add nice words of praise spoken to husband daily to this list as part of my sadhana.

HpS - 🙂 We really really hope that your marriage becomes nice!!! Yet, is Kali yuga so maybe it will be a well fought failure! 😁 Even that is very satisfying and then we die! How many husbands have we had in how many lives??? Krsna is waiting for us and all those husbands and others to get back in the proper place. 🙄

Sometimes his mood is very tough to handle. He has assumed a mood of my way or highway very strongly, so when I find it deeply humiliating I take shelter of hearing. I've decided not to speak any harsh words. I understand any confrontation means I have to yield, otherwise there will be a head on collision. Most unpleasant interactions I have resolved by rerouting my methods of fulfilling my needs to not incorporating him. I experienced unforseen difficulties in above practices when we went out on weekend and shared hotel room (our sleep schedules are almost 4hrs apart) and when I got very sick recently. Some expectation for love and care appeared in my heart, but was met with invalidation. I understood to not expect anything from him even in the worst situations.

HpS - Hmm! That is real love. Love is not a sentimental reaction. It putting the welfare of others first. What was Mandodari's relation with Ravana?

I struggle to assume mood of "how can I serve". Whenever consciousness is deteriorating I hear lecture to survive this phase of marriage. Recently I heard that although Kunti Maharani herself was going through so many difficulties, when she met Krsna she was enquiring about the welfare of others 🙏.

HpS - .... and still she fell victim to the beautiful smile of Surya Deva?? 🙂 After killing Duhsasanan, Bhima addresses him say, 'Farwell cousin, we were not born to be happy."

Such exalted personalities. I'm trying my best 🙏. Some days I feel a lot of dismay, is it going to stay like this forever.

HpS - No.

Then I have to remind myself, nothing stays the same for long.

HpS - Yes! Just a fact!!! What's next???

But this narrative of don't tolerate insult, don't stay where people don't respect you, don't deserve you is so loud at times, it drowns out the be self-satisfied, compassionate, forgive, tolerate for higher principle narrative. Again at such times I try to hear 🙏 and reset consciousness.

HpS - Have some fun. Be enthusiastic to help people in their Dharma, but also have some patience and some nice time with your brother.

We have a question regarding intimacy in marriage, as an application of the 4th relative principle 🙏.

HpS - Ooops! 🙊 🙉 🙈 😎 This doesn't seem like a topic for a Sannyasi. For this you need an Ashrama guru. Nice Ghrastha lady in ISKCON. It is like the Pandavas had Dhaumya and Drona as two different types of Gurus.

We are Diksa gurus, and Siksa gurus in certain terms?

Going to be initiated soon?

Follow deleted?

xxx

I guess this letter is an account of my strugglesome, shaking practice 🙏, my lack of spiritual intelligence to fathom how to act in the situation and my many strong anarthas 😔🙏.

HpS - Interesting. That is mostly why we write the Kapi Dhvaja!

We have and continue to survive only by hearing your loving voice in our mind 🙏. Our only motivation now, to not fail you, who have invested so much in us from childhood. All other material reasons to remain in this marriage Krsna has mercifully shattered 😂.

Your aspiring servant,

Yajnaseni DD

HpS - If you have to walk out of any situation on to the street with nothing but your breath, to save your constant Hari Kirtan, do it. Then Krsna will give you a nice place to sit down and after doing more Hari Kirtan he will give you intelligence how to confront the situation, and He will also take a personal hand in the situation while you are out in the fresh air!!

Then they will add our names to the list:

Kunti.

Draupadi.

Mandodari.

...

Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to Srila Prabhupada!

I would like to thank you, Gurumaharaja, for your response to my last letter.

Since I last wrote, things in my life have changed dramatically, so an update feels appropriate.

ASA - !!! 💨

Due to complications with my partner's job, we have relocated to Ogden, Utah, a town about 45 minutes north of Sri Sri Radha-Govinda's temple in Salt Lake City. I have been chanting at least 8 of my 16 rounds at the temple almost every day. I am attempting to meet the Devotees here so that I will be able to have some association. The temple does not open until 7:00 am, so I am still doing mangala arti alone at home, but once I am situated in our new home I am hoping I can find local devotees with whom to have a proper morning program.

HpS - We have been doing online for like ten years. Yes, live is super, but as Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young said, as we remember, if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with. Loving online Mangala arati is a conscious process!!!

I also plan on returning to San Diego in early November so that I can celebrate Govardhana Puja with Sri Sri Radha-Giridhari and Their faithful servitors in Their holy dham.

I am chanting 16 rounds, following the four regulative principles, regularly going to the temple and actively seeking out the association of local devotees. Most of my book are in storage, but I am reading daily from Bhagavad Gita and NOI.

Your aspiring servant,

Nityananda-rama dasa

HpS - If you follow this process you will get stronger and stronger!!! More and more awake. Move as fast as you can. Make local people devotees so you can have immediate association!

Read the KRSNA book daily!!!!

TLGASP!

TLGASSHpS!

Jaya Gurudeva!

Por favor acepte mis humildes y respetuosas reverencias. Le suplico perdone mis ofensas.

Gurudeva espero de todo corazón este Ud. muy bien.

Hoy en día, rondas, principios, Lectura sistemática del Srimad Bhagavatam con devotos (Cultura del Bhakti).

Además, Gurudeva estoy buscando una explicación a mi camino devocional. Yo estaba al 100% en rondas, principios, estudios, y servicio. Por favor Gurudeva ¿Qué paso conmigo? ¿Me faltó inteligencia para mantenerme? ¿Qué sucedió conmigo?

Quedé enferma y muy deprimida durante todo este tiempo. Fue como una pesadilla. Ahora me estoy recuperando. Sería muy bueno si me ayuda a responder esta pregunta, y así continuar con mi vida devocional.

Me postro a sus pies y espero su misericordia.

Su discípula

Rohini dd.

TLGASP!

TLGASSHpS!

Jaya Gurudeva!

Please accept my humble and respectful obeisance. I beg you to forgive my offenses.

Gurudeva I hope with all my heart that you are very well.

Nowadays, rounds, principles, systematic studying of Srimad Bhagavatam with devotees (Cultura del Bhakti).

Also, Gurudeva I am looking for an explanation to my devotional path. I was 100% in rounds, principles, studies, and service. Please Gurudeva, what happened to me? Did I lack intelligence to support myself? What happened with me?

I was sick and very depressed during all this time. It was like a nightmare. Now I am recovering. It would be great if you help me answer this question, and continue with my devotional life.

I prostrate at his feet and await his mercy.

His disciple

Rohini dd.

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HpS - ASA -- AgtSP... Paoho... Of course we are remembering you and Draupadi Devi Dasi and The Ananga-manjari Devi Dasi often and wondering, "What has happened to these nice devotees?" "What has happened?", but we are actually very little people and don't have the power to be the Supreme Friend!!

So it is Krsna who saves us: https://vedabase.io/es/library/bg/5/29/ but, of course, He is motivated by the desires of His devotees and uses His devotees.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Why we fall away from the path back to Krsna may have many causes, no? We have heard that every psychological circumstance we can meet is in the SB. There is the fall down of Bhrata Maharaja, Vyasadeva writing so many indirect spiritual guidance.... We come to this human body after millions of lifetimes, so if we have different educational side-trips then it is no so surprising, no? We only hope that all of our experiences are determined by Srimati Radharani and Krsna and they have very deep significance and effect.

It is so nice to hear from you!!

We hope that this Blog and the Kapi Dhvaja will be very useful in the next steps in your life!! That we are all with Srila Prabhupada in his Sankirtan in our next chapters!!!