Hare Krishna, beloved Gurudeva:

AGTSP, PAMHO

Thanks for your daily inspiration

HpS - Thank, agtSP, your fortnightly inspiration!!! 😃

Gurudeva, my health is not so good. So I have to take some medications that make me sleep more than I used to. That is why I was not joining the FMS

I am going to make an effort this week.

Hope to see you soon

Trying to be your disciple

CMDD

HpS - Thank you. We... always doubt any medication that does not let us chant Holy Names during Brahma muhurta???! Even if we leave this body doing so!

We have our doubts.

Of course, Krsna can personally sit beside us as even tell us to be the death of 640,000,000 people, so anything is possible if he desires it!!!

Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Opportunities can happen at any moment if we are pure devotees of Krsna.

Look at the persona who is teaching us by example!

He as an old man, nearly dead, no success as he was hoping for and then.

! Boom!

Hare Krishna

Siksha Guru Maharaja, please kindly accept my most humble obeisances; all glories to Srila Prabhupada; all glories to your good self for your own exemplary service to Prabhupada and Krishna; all glories to all the devotees of Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.

HpS/ASA - AgtSP!!!!! Thank you for your association and Siksa!!

I trust that all is going well for your.

HpS - This is the material world. It is 7.22PM. It is getting dark. We sit alone in a ramshakle ashrama. We are struggling to eat properly. Going blind, senile, vertigo, deaf but other than that thinks are pretty good.

Our future is dark if we chose it to be.

We don't want our "Projects" to be successful.

We want to stay at the feet of Srila Prabhupada perfect, personal, service, and then in the association of others in that attitude.

Has Krsna made him our Guru?

We have free will!

Do we chose to worship Krsna, even if He handles us roughly by His embrace???

....although I think about how you are fairing in your health. I have been meaning to write sooner, but other things keep getting in the way. So many thoughts come to my mind that I would like to share, but almost always during japa or mangala arotika: and my memory retention fails me because of so much material energy throughout the rest of my days.

As of lately, Krishna has been very merciful to my wife and I. Whilst we do grieve about our poor involvement with the local community of devotees, we do get some friendship with one particular family, which I will not mention by name, due to his anxiety if his name is mentioned in this letter.

Recently, Srinivasa Prabhu was in Boise, and he surprised us both with a personal visit and some amazing prasadam from Sri Sri Radha Nila Madhava. We had a very nice morning program the day before he left to return to Houston. About a week later we were in SLC, as my wife had a medical appointment there with a specialist.

We celebrated Janmastami in SLC. I met Agnideva for the first time, and he invited me to chant beside him for the entire evening. That was an awesome occasion for at least three hours. By Krishna's grace I was invited to be the first priest to bathe Their Lordships with the first three substances (milk, yogurt and honey); and then again for the final rinse. It was so much more than I had hoped for, or deserved.

A few days after we returned to Boise, some very nice, young traveling brahmacharies stayed as our guests. It was like Krishna's mercy wasn't finished yet. They had gotten my name and contact information. They stayed the night and we had a very nice morning program, and plenty of Krishna katha over prasadam: sharing realizations and sankirtan stories. I had asked them to please pass our names on to all other traveling sankirtan parties so that our good fortune of serving the sankirtan devotees would continue.

My wife's health is not so great; she may need another surgery. She is in so much anxiety over her health, and that puts me into anxiety as a result. My sadhana is still holding, the books are still going out (although not in great numbers), and the rest of our world is still the same, as it was before Janmastami. Celebrating Janmastami was a lifesaver. I definitely need to do this more often. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura has said that these festivals like Janmastami are the mother of devotion. And I really need a mother: these days more than ever.

I will close here, hoping that you are doing well: Hare Krishna.

Your lowly servant,

Balabhadra dasa🙏

HpS - Jaya!

Jaya!

Jaya!

As long as we can breath we can chant, no?

Is that not enough mercy, that the Holy Names appear on our lips!

Thank you for this letter and your association.

Maybe we sometimes get very little external association because Krsna is pushing us do develop our internal association.

You, me, whoever is reading this, we are all going to have to leave our external association behind, no? Of course, if the external world has been Spiritualized then it already has its internal component and the external replica of Vaikuntha merges into its original source.

So, nice to see everything as a replica of Vaikuntha and our only relationship is service, ultimately to the Lord of Vaikuntha, and our Mother, Laksmi Devi, who are all only 16-years old, no?

Like being at Disneyland with our High School classmates, and the Teacher only acting a Chaperones, friends.

We look for any more letters and then maybe TB will post some more.

We only hope for your association more and more intimately.

We talk a lot with Jaya Krsna Das in Dominican. He finds himself in a similar situation as yours also.

SMDD writes by WhatsApp:

Dear Gurudeva, Hare Krishna. Yesterday I was trying to send you a letter. I couldn't open. I am going to visit you this time. Most probably end of the month September. Thank you so much for everything Gurudeva. You are Patita Pavana 

Your servant.

Sacimata dd.

HpS/ASA - AgtSP!!! Paoho/Bw.... ! ..... We will send the link to this response to your WhatsApp address. We hope you can open the link and if you cannot open your MonkeyWarrior.Com account, you can open a new one that works.

We cannot converse 🙉 🙊 in private with ladies.

So, it is very nice if we can converse here.

Then if there are details we can discuss them in private with the association of a responsible gentleman.

🙂

Until 22 September we are Based at 902 Hillcrest Drive, Murfreesboro, TN 37129.

After that ISKCON Houston.

You plan to visit us?

Of course, we are not the body, so do you plan to visit us, or visit our body ?😃

How is your Sankirtan?

Who are your associates?

Still in New Raman reti?

Please adored Guru Maharaja!!

Please accept my respectful obeisances at your beautiful lotus feet, from which I once drank the water in Peru. Please, beloved Gurudeva, do not deny me the worship of Your feet. I have no other refuge than the dust of Your feet. If You do not allow me to worship Your feet, then as the song says, I will weep constantly and will not be able to sustain my life any longer. I live in a very great illusion, trying to make daily sales, but I am happy to be able to preach to people who wish to listen. Please do not be disturbed, beloved Gurumaharaja, by my words of worship at your feet. You are strictly following our beloved acarya Srila Prabhupada. He saved my life. I was about to leave the body, and by reading your books, I found a beautiful light for my heart. With your wonderful treatment, you have made me believe that in this world there are fortunately good people whom I can follow. And I am cultivating my devotion to Govinda thanks to you. Please give me the shelter and happiness of glorifying Your feet which are the creeper of my devotional service.

HpS - We struggle to not eat too much. We read too much about historical heroes and event. We seem to be pretty reasonable guys. One way of looking at Srila Prabhupada. Perfect by his adjustments!!!

Yet, unless you have accepted Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami as a personal Uttama adhikari Guru, then we cannot do practical service as Diksa/Siksa guru!

All glories to Srila Prabhupada, founder Acarya of the soul-saving movement! All glories to you, beloved Gurudeva who allows us to follow this beautiful path to have and serve Govinda consciousness.

💖❤️🌹🌺💐🙏🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🙇🏻‍♀️🙏

A few years ago, I think it was 4 or 5, I was taking my beloved initiation japa out on the street, because I wanted to continue as Srila Prabhupada tells us: to take our japa everywhere. But, it happened to me that, after getting home and washing my japa and drying it in the sun, it seemed that the thread with which the gopis are attached began to unravel❤️💖,

now i have krsna radha, lalita, vishaka and one more gopi that follows them, loose, kept in a separate bag (so that they do not get lost) inside my bag of beads. and inside the bag i have 18 gopis together plus 1 gopi that follows them, loose (also kept inside the same bag inside my bag of beads and all my japa that follows is fine, except for one last gopi, the smallest one, that is loose. kept inside the same bag where i put krsna with the gopis, which are loose. but unfortunately one bead (i don't know which one) fell inside the land where we live and i could never find it again.

I sing them and take good care of them. They've been like this for years, and of course I never take them out of the house. I sing with my fingers! Or I chant a mantra. I count it and get to 108 and say one round, and that's how I sing on the street.

Franco suggested I buy some plastic fishing line, and he'd fix them with that. But I don't know if the gopis would be happy with plastic between them. I tried fixing them with thread, but I didn't do it right. My beads are big and beautiful, but the hole is too small to thread them through. I don't know how they made them!

So, can I leave them like this and sing like I'm doing now? Or should I let Franco fix them with fishing line?

Use the nicest fiber you can. Synthetic fibers are O.K. as far as we know. Pass a sufficiently small thread through all of the beads. Then add like two times the length of the beads on the string and then pass the thread on the spool through the center of the thread where it enters the first bead. Then pull that penetration through all 108 beads. As it goes through it will pull another strand of thread off of the spool. Then second time it will pull another. After some time there will be a thick cord of thread though the beads. Cut it and then tie a know between each bead.

🔨 🔧

And :

you said in Anvesaka that we should sing with beads at all times, and I would love to, but I don't want to take them outside... so I can sing with my fingers at all times? And when I get home, I desperately grab my beloved beads and finally sing with them.

THe sixteen rounds certainly, but after that mechanical counter, fingers, stop watch, writting on paper are all acceptable!

extreme thanks to the Blessed dust of your dancing feet that filled me with glory and happiness and I never wanted to leave that nectar again. I pray to our sweet Govinda that I always take shelter in You, Srila Prabhupada and in the Parampara. Please GURUMAHARAJA, do not deny me, do not deny my words. I am eager to glorify you eternally. If I do not, my words have no reason to exist, describing stupid material sounds.

I'm really fed up with this whole material world game... so much effort and not knowing where you're going... that's what I tell people, but if they don't have a Guru like you, their lives won't be saved!! and not only them but their children too... will suffer the same misfortune... chewing the chewed and rotting in this horrible game: the material world. and suffer so much. I don't want that, I want to glorify it eternally.

HpS - Last paragraph of NoI-6, https://vedabase.io/en/library/noi/6/

All Glories to His Holiness Hanumat Presaka Swami, who saved my life and those of many wonderful devotees, and those yet to come!! Eternal thanks Gurudev for your constant preaching, for all you have done in the sciences, universities, and in our hearts. I have no words... I can only help every day with my grain of sand: hello! here is a book that can save your life, like it has saved my life and that of many people around the world! here is the vedabase, here is the address! you can go, listen, ask, eat, it's all free... and you will learn a lot!

Allow me to glorify you forever with my dance, I sing, whatever this neophyte disciple of yours can do. Please save me from the fire of the material world, and rather, like a vessel, may I be filled with the nectar of your glories, so that I can give a little to the suffering people I meet on the streets every day. That will be an immense pleasure for me.

Your foolish disciple who wishes to advance greatly and reach the goal without delay: japa Prati Jalpa Radha Devi Dasi

HpS - Not that we are advancing, no? We are just waking up.

This is good?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRrU0zCUVJg&pp=ygUWa3Jpc2huYSBhdXIga2FucyBmbHV0ZdIHCQmyCQGHKiGM7w%3D%3D

Dear Srila Gurudeva,

Please accept my humble reverences to your wonderful lotus feet and the entire parampara chain!✨📿

HpS - We do not yet see that we have lotus feet. We wash them and it seems they follow Srila Prabhupada's path maybe like 87.777%, but we still are learning!

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada!!!

HpS - Jaya!

I write to you with a heavy heart😔, seeking your merciful guidance to navigate profound challenges in my sadhana and emotional life. As a new initiate, having received nama diksha in August this year, I am deeply committed to advancing in Krishna consciousness. However, recent struggles with my chanting and a painful and ongoing situation with my partner (a devotee under your guidance and my vartma-pradarśaka-guru who introduced me to this path) have clouded my discernment. I humbly request your direction to protect my spiritual practice and find clarity.

HpS - We will offer what we can, but Krsna is the ultimate Guru of all Gurus, and our local association is very important in solving local problems in our spiritual life, no?

This week, my difficulties with japa intensified after rediscovering my partner’s infidelity and decided to take distance from him for a couple of days while I struggle to chant my 16 rounds, managing only 8 or less due to overwhelming sleepiness, which I attribute to tamas (ignorance) and anarthas such as vishada (despondency), nirasha (disappointment), ahamkara (false ego), and vikshepa (distraction). I also find it hard to wake up early for Brahma-muhurta and am plagued by waves of depressive thoughts, which deepen my vishada. I have been trying to offer these anarthas to Krishna in each round, as taught by Srila Prabhupada, by surrendering emotions like sadness and disappointment. Yet, the sleepiness and depressive thoughts persist, hindering my ability to complete my rounds. How can I overcome these obstacles, avoid nama-aparadha (especially inattention), wake up early with enthusiasm, and gradually increase my chanting to fulfill my vow?

HpS - Again, we do not know details. are you adau sraddha, sadhu sanga.... BG 4.10, NoI 7 and 8. Different medicine at different levels, but..... get up early and get your rounds done, like a soldier! Might be what you have to do. Wars are not done by well dressed soldiers with all their equipment in order and full strength. Wars, good Japa, is done by soldiers who get knocked down, lose a limb, each round, but get backup again and again.

Get them done as early as you can, the best you can, and then Lord Sri Krsna, Supreme Personality of Godhood, will bomb the heads of your enemies from the airplanes!

My emotional turmoil stems from my relationship with my partner, which began in November last year, shortly after a painful abandonment by my previous partner of 5 years.

My partner J, your devotee who is 26 years older than me, has been a source of structure in my sadhana. When we are together, I complete my rounds, eat healthy prasadam, and feel cared for, which I am immensely grateful for. His guidance as my vartma-pradarśaka-guru has deepened my devotion, and I hold great love and gratitude for him.

However, his repeated infidelity—contacting young prostitutes, meeting women from dating apps and former cooking students, one of them deeply attached to him, and a recent incident this week after a brief pause in his tendencies during July following a crisis when I considered leaving the country, we distanced ourselves, and I traveled for several weeks, returning after the first Ekadasi of the month. After my return and a brief discussion, he paused these tendencies, but he has resumed them, causing me profound pain and intensifying my vishada and nirasha.

His ambivalence, such as introducing me as his girlfriend, posting photos of us together on one social media account while presenting himself as single on another, and his history of cheating on his previous long-term partner, make me feel that I am the only one aware of his double life. He justifies his actions by misinterpreting an alleged according to him “Srila Prabhupada’s statement” about “prostitutes performing a social service by preventing men from corrupting pure women,” which I have never heard from anyone else and I do not believe aligns with Vaishnava principles. He has mentioned that you, Srila Gurudeva, previously commented on his handling of sexuality, which led me to think that he’s pretty aware of his tendencies and decisions.

I try to see his anarthas (kama, pratistha) as equal to my own, avoiding moral superiority, and I wonder if his seeking sexual partners is an attempt to maintain a “purer” relationship with me, without intent to harm, especially since we are not married and intimacy is limited. Although he does not know the full extent of my awareness of his infidelities, I have hinted at it, which leaves me conflicted. His irresponsibility and possible sexism, combined with a lack of intimacy and his failure to channel his sexual energy appropriately, make me question whether his love or commitment to dedicating our lives to Krishna is genuine. I long to build a family, but I fear his reluctance to commitment, his actions and age difference reflect a lack of deep intention to share this spiritual journey and live as Gṛhasthas together so this might be leading nowhere.

I feel torn. Part of me believes staying with him may be a lesson to burn past karma, as I have wondered if my pain reflects actions from previous lives. Yet, his behavior is causing me internal and energetic harm, intensifying my vishada and nirasha, and making it emotionally unsustainable to continue.

My discernment is clouded, and I am unsure whether to confront him about his infidelity, justifications, and lack of commitment, setting boundaries aligned with Vaishnava principles; to end the relationship to protect my sadhana and well-being; or to remain out of compassion and humility, sacrificing my ego, pride, and what I consider my “dignity” to maintain the discipline his presence brings to my sadhana, despite having no expectations of fidelity or intimacy. While his support helps me chant my rounds and live a regulated life, I fear the emotional toll may outweigh these benefits.

I humbly seek your guidance on the following:

1. How can I overcome sleepiness and difficulty waking up early for japa, manage depressive thoughts, and increase my chanting to 16 rounds while offering my anarthas (vishada, nirasha, ahamkara, vikshepa) to Krishna?

HpS - A million answers to this quesion depending on details that only local friends, or intelligent enemies can know. We give a basic answer above. Good question, but details can only come from those who have detailed knowledge.

2. Should I confront my partner about his infidelity, justifications, and lack of genuine commitment to Krishna, or consider ending the relationship to prioritize my sadhana and emotional well-being? How can I balance my gratitude and love for him as my vartma-pradarśaka-guru with discernment to protect my spiritual path, especially given my desire for a family and the harm I am experiencing?

HpS - The answer is in the 18,000 verses of Srimad Bhagavatam and 17 volumes of CC! So, many stories about so many people! Why? So we can pick our specific advice for our situation.

I had to go through similar situations when I was beginning Krsna consciousness. It took maybe ten years before things seemed to be finally settled with myself and my wife. Just kept chanting, following, engaging in ISKCON Sankirtan etc. etc. best I could and it really seemed to come out very good for everyone.

3. How can I protect my sadhana and nama diksha commitment amidst these emotional challenges, release any guilt or fear about past karma, and find clarity in my clouded discernment?

I am striving to follow Srila Prabhupada’s teachings and the parampara, chanting with sincerity and participating in sadhu-sanga when possible. I wear my tulasi kanthi mala at all times as a reminder of my commitment to Krishna. Without direct contact with my own guru, I feel lost and humbly turn to you for direction. Your guidance is my only shelter, and I pray to Krishna and the parampara to receive your mercy.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I offer my heartfelt gratitude for your service to Srila Prabhupada and the Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition.

Please forgive any offenses in my words, as I am a fallen soul seeking to surrender to Krishna.

Your servant,

A.

HpS - Canto One, Krsna Enters Dvaraka, Many Prostitutes came out to greet him. Fundamental purport.

CC. Antya lila, Glories of Hari Dasa Thakura, encounter with two prostitute.

If you can't chant 16-rounds a day, but I think you can!!! Like a soldier, Mataji!! 🙂

Then fix a number that you KNOW you can do for a certain period. Eg. 12-a day until next Ekadasi, and do it.

Find out what is keeping you from getting enough sleep so that you aren't exhausted during Brahma muhurt and erase it.

Eg. I would come home from Master Charge Banking at 12PM and if I got into bed it was too comfortable to get up, but if I slept on the floor I could get up.

I put al the BTG magazines I hand all over the bed, so if I was going to get in bed, I had to remove them all one by one.

It worked!

Never slept in the bed again. Got up early.

Your problem. Your solution. Your Radha Krsna!!!

Hare Krishna, dear gurudev. Please accept my obeisances, and all glories to Srila Prabhupada.

I hope you are doing very well in all respects.

HpS/ASA - so, SO, S O, nice to hear, agtSP, from you! .... this is the material world.... there are problems everywhere. 90% of our progress and satisfaction is getting up early now and getting our rounds done before mangala arati with enthusiasm.

it puts a new perspective on our day!

who is KRSNA?

By the mercy of the devotees, I chant my 16 rounds quite poorly and follow the principles quite well.

I am realizing my spiritual state as very, very poor. I feel like I'm not only licking the bottle from the outside, but I'm also very far from the bottle.

HpS/ASA - Well, at least, agtSP, you know there is a bottle!!! Socrates and the Bhagavad-gita both comment that it is usually only 1 in a million who have realized that there is a bottle and something to be got!

I feel like a complete fake. I can sense my false ego boasting and being indifferent to my spiritual poverty. It seems as if I don't want to be helped, that I'm deliberately wasting this life. It's as if I have shackles on my legs, and there's a force preventing me from taking them off. It's very sad.

ASA - Us too! Yet Krsna is more kind than honest, so He trying to find ways to move us! He won't give up. Every Mantra you chant has lasting effect. It is the best thing you can do for you and the whole world too.

hk hk kk hh / hr hr rr hh

I continue to study psychology, also mediocrely, many subjects in a short time.

HpS - Jung??? What books???

I made things very difficult for myself by bringing my mother to live with me. A month and a half ago, she broke her hip, and being alone with her became more than a challenge.

In the community of devotees here, there have been four divorces so far this year. Four marriages remain.

I also wanted to ask you about worship at the Radha Krishnacandra Mandir. Do some devotees who are pujaris not follow certain principles? Is alcohol, marijuana, or infidelity a factor? Even though the proposal is meant to be like home worship? Does this negatively affect everyone?

What is the most reasonable course of action in this regard?

HpS - Where is the Radha Krsna Candra Mandira? If it is Grhastha home temple is one thing and if it is official ISKCON Temple it is another.

And what about my personal state?

HpS - Do you mean, BsAS, Chaco, Chatamarca...???... 😄 We do not know too much more about your Personal State, Province, except what we hear in these posts, news from your neighbors in [?] Cordoba. If you mean your personal Krsna Bhava Amrta then that is even more rare!!!

The more we hear about you, the more we are satisfied.

The less we hear about you, from you, the more we are worried.

Just because you can't be Romeo and Juliet doesn't mean you should get divorced, no?

You may have to have a car, you may have to have a spouse. It is a practical, but can develop into transcendental, relation!

Thank you very much, Gurudev, for your immense mercy, and please excuse my inadequacy in devotion and discipleship.

Hare Krishna, Gurudev!!!

Your well-wishing disciple, Campaka Lata dd.

HpS/ASA - All the Monkeys want to visit your Ashrama and Cordoba in the good weather and play in the trees.

.......................................................................................................................................................

Hare Krsna querido gurudev. Por favor acepte mis reverencias y sean todas las glorias a Srila Prabhupada.

Espero que usted se encuentre muy bien en todos los aspectos.

Por la misericordia de los devotos canto mis 16 rondas bastante mal y sigo los principios bastante bien.

Estoy realizando mi estado espiritual como muy muy muy pobre. Siento que no solo lamo la botella del lado de afuera sino que estoy muy lejos de la botella. Me estoy sintiendo una completa farsante. Puedo percibir mi ego falso vanagloriarse siendo indiferente a mi pobreza espiritual. Parecería que no quiero ser ayudada, que estoy deliberadamente desperdiciando esta vida. Como si tuviera unos grilletes en las piernas y hay una fuerza que me impide quitármelos. Es muy triste.

Sigo estudiando psicología también de manera mediocre, muchas materias en poco tiempo.

Me compliqué mucho trayendo a mi madre a vivir conmigo, hace un mes y medio se quebró la cadera y estar sola con ella se volvió más que un desafío.

En la comunidad de devotos de aquí han habido 4 divorcios en lo que va del año. Quedaron cuatro matrimonios en pie.

Quería preguntarle también con respecto a la adoración en el Mandir de Radha Krsnacandra, algunos devotos que son pujaris no siguen algunos principios, alcohol, marihuana, infidelidad, a pesar de que la propuesta es como una adoración hogareña, esto afecta negativamente a todos?

Qué es lo más razonable a este respecto?

Y de mi estado personal?

Muchas gracias gurudev por su inmensa misericordia y disculpe mi inaptitud devocional y discipular.

Hare Krsna gurudev!!!.

Su bienqueriente discípula Campaka Lata dd.