Dear Guru Maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to you!
Here we are in Jaipur, leaving today back to the States. While traveling in India, I have been reflecting on how deeply I am indebted to you. In every aspect of my Krishna consciousness, your example and instructions have been my guiding light.
During mangal arati, I remember your enthusiastic chanting and dancing, and it inspires me to give up my lethargy and also dance. I reflect on how you sing the Gurvastaka prayers with so much attention to the meaning, and I try to follow in your example.
During kirtan, I remember your instruction that kirtan is a dialogue, not a monologue, and so I attempt to listen attentively. During japa, I reflect on your instruction to chant with meaning and with feeling. Every Bhagavatam class that I give is replete with examples and lessons I have learned from you---they come naturally, without having to remember them or plan them. During Prasadam, I recall your incredible austerity and the meager portions that you take, and I try to reduce my own eating, although I usually fail to control my tongue.
In my academic service, the principle you have taught me has provided guidance for so many years—“We should acquire as much knowledge as is useful for our service.” This principle has helped me remain sober when I am troubled by the desire for atyahara. In grhastha life, your reminders to follow the example of Kardama Muni and Devahuti help us to maintain proper perspective and determination to advance.
In interpersonal relationships, your admonition to “duck” the attacks that come our way, and your reminder that “in Vrindavan, only Krishna and Balaram kill demons,” has helped us to avoid many sticky and painful situations. Your sense of urgency in Krishna consciousness helps me avoid complacency and maintain a desire to advance.
Gurudeva, this is just a small sampling of the many, many ways in which I am indebted to you. The list could go on endlessly. As you have said several times, “No one can receive everything that the spiritual master has to offer.” It is no doubt impossible to repay one’s debt to the spiritual master. All I can do is offer my gratitude and continue in my attempt to follow your instructions. You have given me everything—much more than I can hold.
Now, all I have to do is to practice what you have taught, but that has not been easy. I am weak, and I repeatedly fail, but I am determined to advance, and thus I beg for your mercy. As Srila Sridhara Svami says at the beginning of his commentary on Srimad Bhagavatam:
kvāhaṁ manda-matiḥ kvedaṁ
mathanaṁ kśīra-varidheḥ
kiṁ tatra paramāṇur vai
yatra majjati mandaraḥ
mūkaṁ karoti vācālaṁ
paṅguṁ laṅghayate giriṁ
yat-kṛpā tam ahaṁ vande
paramānanda-mādhavam
(śrī-guruṁ dīna-tāraṇam)
“Where am I, so dull-witted, and where is the churning of the milk ocean? Alas, what can a tiny atom do where even Mount Mandara sinks? Nevertheless, by the mercy of Guru and Krishna, even a mute person can become an orator and lame person can scale mountains. I offer my humble obeisances to Śrī Guru, the deliverer of the fallen.”
Gurudeva, please never withdraw your guidance, compassion, and affection. It is all that I am made of.
Your hopeful servant,
Radhika Ramana dasa
HpS - AgtSP!!! Paoho. It seems that we are all being stimulated by everyone else's sincerity. Disciple is stimulated by Guru, Guru is stimulated by Disciple, Krsna stimulates us all, Godbrothers stimulate Godbrothers. Thank you for your association. I hope we can all stay in association forever.
Thank you. We wish you all success in your Sankirtan. All success.