Sadhana & More Personal Thoughts
Dear Guru Maharaja, please kindly accept my most humble obeisances; all glories to Srila Prabhupada; all glories to your good self for you many years of exemplary devotional service to Prabhupada and Krishna.
HpS - AgtSP. We feel uncomfortable being considered any extreme example of a good servant of Srila Prabhupada. We feel that you are just as exemplary in this aspect.
It has been quite a while since I last wrote anything. There is so much that I want to share, but I don't know where to begin. I suppose I should begin by mentioning that I am still maintaining my daily sadhana: mangala arotika, tulasi and gurupuja prayers, japa period; daily Srimad Bhagavatam and attending Bhagavatam classes from Hawaii.
On Sundays we read from the Krishna Book, and at present I am meticulously reading through the Sri Isopanishad on Saturdays.
My evenings consist of dhupa arotika; sometimes reading from the CC with my wife when I am not overwhelmed from driving, hosting a BG class on Thursday evenings, and attending BG classes on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Lately my wife and I have been holding BG readings Sunday mornings with other devotees who participate, either in person or online.
My experiences with preaching to passengers has some interesting moments. One man claimed he was an atheist, but he wanted to learn how to pray and meditate. Ironically, he didn't speak a word of English: only Swahili. He had one of those electronic contraptions that can audio translate any sentence from over 140 different languages into any other language. I didn't know what to do, as I couldn't stay with him, having another passenger already waiting to be picked up. A lady asked about my Tilaka, and I jokingly told her that it was a highly contagious disease with a 100% success rate. We all had a good laugh, but she repeated her question and I gave her the simple answer of how I practice a mode of meditation that teaches how the body is a temple, and the tilaka is a sign of respect for the temple we inhabit. She was very pleased with the conversation. But mostly I find that people are actually frightened by Srila Prabhupada's books. They seem to instinctively know that if they take a book home and read it, they will have to re-examining what life means to them. So they look at the books, claiming to into some mode of yoga or meditation, but then they put the books back and leave with nothing.
HpS/ASA - This precisely describes this mentality, no?
https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/4/10/
It is a medical science.
On another note: I am worried about your upcoming visit this summer. I did receive a letter from the TP here some time back, trying to apologize for the past. ... I have also not been able to make up my mind about inviting you to our home for prasadam. I want to very much, but I am nervous, because I have chosen to keep distance from the local community. It's such a strange turning of event after having dedicated nearly 50 years of my life in service to Prabhupada and Krishna.
There is still so much more to share, but I will need to close here, leaving you with these few words. Please kindly forgive me for my offenses; for my failure to be more sincere because of having such weak character.
Your lowly servant,
Balabhadra dasa
HpS - ASA - Thank you. We had a nice phone conversation after you sent this. I always remember a letter that cam to Jayatirtha Das from India just after JD left the Berkeley Temple to go back to Los Angeles. I was a very impressive experience for me reading it to him on the telephone. A lot a technical points about men, buildings, projects, and then Srila Prabhupada finished off by saying, "You cannot exist without my mercy".
When I read it my mind reacted with some fear and shock.
Srila Prabhupada was acting like the God of the Old Testament or some such thing, and I was internally reacting with, "Yes, Sri" and bowing before the God the Heavens, who is an angry God.
Then I read the next line, "... and I cannot exist without your mercy. This mutual respect, this mutual love, is Krsna consciousness".
Ever since then, in my relations with people, devotees, I have thought, unless I want to be a part of the solution, I am a part of the problem.
You can solve the problems in Boise. You can make you contribution pure.
