Hare krishna Gurudeva!
Please, accept my humble and respectful obeisances!!
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada!!!
In this auspicious day of Lord Nrsimhadeva appearance I write to you.
You asked me in your reply to my last annual report to write to the Blog...
Sorry for delaying in writing, Gurudeva. I want to open my heart to you and tell you how I am, how are things going, but I find difficult to do it on the Blog. I think I have enemies that probably feel happy if I say that I am actually suffering or by showing my weaknesses. 😌 I think this also has to do with my pride, sorry Gurudeva!
HpS - Blog is for general ASA association. It is like talking amongst the people who come up to the vyasa asana after the Sunday Feast lecture. It is open to everyone but it is for people who are more interested than the general public, but after we discuss stuff at that level then we can arrange to discuss stuff in more personal detail with appropriate association like Gandharva Das, Abhirama Das, Patraka Das ......
Everyone is suffering in this material world, but just like you say we hide it from others and ourselves.
In any way, I want to tell you that I am able to move forward just because of your causeless mercy, because of your saintly association EVERY DAY in FMP, classes, Blog, etc !!!
HpS - ASA -- It is the same for us. FMP is 90% of our strength to do Sankirtan. Thank you. Thank all the participants.
Now, I am trying to focus on the most important thing, as you always instruct to us : "Chant good (enthusiastic) rounds in the morning", knowing that by doing this all problems will be solved, the big problems, the small problems, ALL the problems will be solved.
HpS - Yes!!! We can see actual advancement in our consciousness, we can see our heart start to move, dance.
I want to improve the quality of my Japa. For years ago I discovered that I chant much better rounds before mangala artik: better concentration, fluency, my mind is calmer at that time and I can concentrate better on hearing and chanting.
Gurudeva, I would like to get up at 1: 30 or 2: 00 a.m EVERY DAY to start chanting my rounds, I have already experienced that it helps me a lot! but, lately I am not being able to do that. I think this has to do with my mind, with my determination, not with the state of my body, because I always go to sleep early and have enough rest.
How can I accomplish this?? to do this EVERY DAY- This is just a matter of determination, focus, inspiration?? How can I help myself in this regard?, please...
HpS - Get a wake up partner??? Ring, ring, ring. The first up calls the other and then report to each other how many rounds you have finished by mangala arati. Sangat sanjayate kamah.
Once, when you were answering a question, you told me: "We do not know how much progress we are going to make in one lifetime, but that is not the most important thing, the most important thing is if we are making progress". Now I think I am understanding this phrase a little bit : Because of your mercy I have been able to get rid of gross sinful activities by following the 4 regulative principles, but, have so many subtle material attachments, bad habits, etc. There is a lot to work, a lot to improve!
HpS - This is what Radharana said to Visaka one time also?
Nowadays I am trying to understand that I must cook for KRISHNA and ONLY take the remnants left by Him.
HpS - Chanting (Dansing) and Cooking.
In regards to reading Srila Prabhupada's books, in these last days I have improved a little bit, but have to improve a lot yet.
HpS - Everyday we read NOD! Read CC before Mangala arati. You can follow us. We Tweet our progress. Read while you take Prasad. Read one page from different books each day, Keep a bookmark and take notes. Collect those. Use them.
Gurudeva, I have just discovered that one of things that makes me happiest in Krishna consciousness (aside from taking prasadam and dance in kirtan for Krishna) is to listen classes from inspiring devotees on YouTube. I was listening Urmila mataji's classes yesterday and due to her association I became happy, inspired and enthusiastic to practice the process. I am also learning English by listening to these classes!
HpS - When we think of listening to ladies giving classes, we are Sannyasis, then we think that we should automatically know who is that ladies protector eg. husband, popa, big son, and that he knows what she is saying in front of Sannyasis and other men. That is high standard for lady as Goswami, no?! We need lady Goswamis.
I am understanding that "association" is a very important thing in this Bhakti Yoga process, I have wasted a lot of time having and even looking for bad association.
Gurudeva, please forgive all my offenses!!! conscious or unconscious...
Thank you very much for all your service !!!! and for all the patience you have and has had with me, you are very merciful !!!!! 🙏 🙏 🙏
I am going to write a little more often, Gurudeva!!!
Trying to be a devotee:
Mitravinda devi dasi.
HpS - ASA - Have Krsna. We see you in Lima in about two weeks!