Letters to the editor

ASA[e] - Bibliography, SP's Source Materials for SB etc.

https://www.radha.name/news/philosophy/srila-prabhupadas-books-and-purports

All glories to Srila A.C. Prabhupada, Bhakti Svarupa Sripad Maharaja and Goura Bhakta Vrinda.

Hare Krsna,

HpS Guru Maharaja! Dandavat Pranam.

Please accept my humble obeisanses unto the Padmacharan of Guruji Maharja that the following is the comments of Prabhu Partha Sarathi Das on Manipuri Goudiya system of Shakhi-Manijari forwarded today.

“All Glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gouranga,

H. H. Respected Swamijee,

        Please accept my humble pranam, Sriman Yamunesvara Prabhu has shown to me the comment of Sriman Haridas Gosvami on the Guru-Param-Para of the Manipuri Vaisnavism, which seems to be quite remote from the subject under discussion. I have nothing to comment on the remarks given by a sannyasi on his own accord. However, as I belong to the old traditional devout Manipuri Vaisnava family, I feel it obliged to say a few words he has not mentioned at all in his remarks, for the pleasure of my Spiritual Master and other vaisnavas.   

        To my mind, instead of giving his personal observation on the Guru-Param-Para of Manipuri Vaisnavism, it would have been more appropriate for him to have focused on the principles of Manipuri Vaisnavism as enunciated in the scriptures, which have been followed by each and every vaisnava under the strict supervision of their respective Spiritual Masters coming down through disciplic succession right from the days of Rajarsi Bhagyachandra (1776) till this day. Their presiding deity is Lord Sri Govinda currently being enshrined (worshiped) in the Mani Mandir of the palace of Manipur, Imphal.

        Though I have very little knowledge about his background of Manipur Vaisnavism, I regard Sriman Haaridas Goswami as a simple and humble sannyasi. So far as I know, he is a Manipuri devotee born in Assam and brought up there. I never expect such a remark on Guru-Param-Para of Manipuri Vaisnavism, which may hurt the sentiment of Srila Prabhupada and Sri B.S. Damodara Swami, who were the great exponents of Manipuri Vaisnavism. Srila Prabhupada spoke highly of the Manipuri Vaisnavism and commented that Manipur was a great Vaisnava Kingdom and its vaisnava culture needs to be revived for the welfare of the humanity, as revealed in the purport of the Bhgagavatam (9.22.32). In view of this, the remarks on the Guru-Param-Para of Manipuri Vaisnavism is quite irrelevant and uncalled for, from a sannyasi like him who belongs in the ISKCON family, which is to be treated as a great aparadha (sin) to his Spiritual Master, B.S. Damodara Swami as well as Srila Prabhupada. However, may all the merciful Lord Sri Govinda always protect him for his innocence and ignorance.

As desired, for information of Swamijee, I am sending details of the Spiritual Masters coming down through disciplic succession, they are - Lord Sri Krishna - Sri Krishna Caitanya – Sri Gadhadhara Pandit – Sri Loka Natha Swami – Sri Narottama Das Thakur – Sri Ganganarayan Chakravarti – Sri Nidhirama Chakravarti – Sri Kunjabihari Das – Sri Ram Gopal Vairagi – Sri Rupa Pramananda Goswami – Sri Rajarsi Bhagyachandara – and his successive disciple so on and so forth, which are in the records of the history of Manipuri Vaisnavism and its Guruparampara, compiled by great Manipuri writer Late Sri Koijam Brajabihari Singh of Thangmeiband.

        One special and unique feature of the Manipuri Vaisnavism, as distinct from others, is that, our approach is indirectly direct, that is, no vaisnava devotee of Manipur is allowed to approach Lord Sri Krishna, direct but through His consort, all merciful Radharani. Radharani is non-different from Krishna. Krishna is the origin of Radharani. Because of this, another name of Radharani is known as Krishna Swarupini. Radharani is the origin of all the Lakshmis including 16,108 Maharanis of Dwarika and Gopis of Vrindavana. So Radharani is known as the Swarva Laksmi Mayi Angsini. As such Gopies are non different from Radharani. Therefore, under the Manipuri Vaisnavism, vaisnaava devotees are allowed to approach Krishna through Radharani, Radharani through Sakhis, Sakhis through Manjari. Shakhis and Manjaris are all Gopis. Under the Manipuri Vaisnavism, at the time of initiation of one devotee, the Spiritual Master should explain the significant of the Spiritual Master and necessity for approaching Krishna through one of the Shakhi or Manjari. And accordingly, the Spiritual Master, on the day of the initiation of a devotee, he should give the name of the Sakhi or Manjari along with his initiated name, through whom he should chant Hare Krishna Mahamantra on the japas at least 5 rounds of chanting, three times a day (tri-sandhya) in the morning, in the noon, and in the evening, without fail. Under this strict system of Manipuri Vaisnavism, I was given initiation by my Spiritual Master (Purohit) of my clan in the late forties when I was thirteen years old. I was also made known the name of the Sakhi through whom I pray to and worship Lord Sri Krishna, along with my initiated name. All these should be kept strictly confidential.

        One more important thing to be noted about Rajarsi Bhagyachandra is that he is illiterate; he can neither read nor write. But with the blessings of Lord Sri Govinda, he is endowed with the gifted in-born talent of intelligence and memory, like Maharisi Veda Vyas, son of Parasara Muni. Vyasdeva could learn all the Vedas from his father Parasara only by hearing once for all. Once he hears, it never goes out of his memory. Likewise, though illiterate, Rajarsi Bhagyachandra, whatever he hears from his Spiritual Master Rupa Paramanand Goswami, it never goes out of his memory. Rupa Paramand Goswami narrated all the contents of all the 90 chapters of the 10^th Canto, with special emphasis on the Rasa Panchadhaya. King Bhagyachandra was fully motivated and specially attracted to the transcendental beauty of the Rasa Lila of the Gopis with Sri Krishna and could relish the nectarean divine rasa (taste) to his heart’s content. As a result of it, he could produce the world famous Maharas which was staged on the full moon night of the month of Kartika (Nov-Dec) 1779 and Nata-Sankirtana describing the nectarean pastimes of Sri Krishna in the Vraja-Vrindavan.

        King Bhagyachandra choreographed the Maharasa, the great circular Rasadance (Raslila) of Lord Sri Krishna along with Gopies, based on the Rasa Panchadhyayas of Srimad Bhagavatam 10^th Canto (from 29^th to the 33^rd Chapters) showing highest devotional touch ever shown by the Gopies to the lotus feet of Lord Sri Krishna. He further designed the newest form of classical Sankirtana (congregational chanting of the Harinama Mahamantra depicting the Vraja Kahani, the nectarean pastimes of Lord Krishna in Vrindavan, performed by a group of singers through their graceful body movement. This type of congregational chanting is known as Nata-Sankirtan. Nata means actors who depicts Vraja Kahani (pastimes of Lord Krishna in Vrindavana through their melodious voice and acting with gradual and graceful body movement.

This is the world famous devotional classical Sankirtana form available till this day in the world. Maharasa and the Nata Sankirtana are the two greatest contributions of Rajarsi Bhagyachandra in the Vaisnava Culture of Manipur.

        I have made this letter a bit long unnecessarily which may give Swamiji a little trouble to read.

        Hare Krishna,

To                                                               In the service of Lord Sri Krishna

Srila Hanumat Presaka Swami Maharaja             Your fallen servant,

Partha Sarathi Das  

-0-0-0-

Hanumatpresaka Swami,

Please accept my humble respects. You know that I love Manipur and Manipuri Vaisnava culture. You presentation was very concise and very nice. I have read some other books on the history of Manipuri culture, one was by a former Member of Parliament whom was a little famous. Maybe you know of whom I am talking.

I would have to know a lot more detail about the Parampara of Manipur to make any comments about the detailed practices. I did not see Haridas Swami's letter, so I do not know what his comments were.

Since ISKCON and Manipuri Vaisnavas, as you have so nicely described, are both in Parampara from Narottama Das Thakura then there should be points of agreement on his teachings in both of our traditions.

Specifically we are coming Param para from Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Gaura kishora Das Babaji and Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta tradition.

Of course, we also approach Krsna though Radha but also through Balarama in some cases. Then we also approach Radha through the Sakhis, specifically though Lalita whom we understand has incarnated in Gaura lila as Srila Svarupa Damodara, the personal secretary of Lord Caitanya. Lalita we approach though Rupa and Rati Manjaris et al, whom we understand to have incarnated in Gaura-lila as Rupa, Sanatana, Raghunatha Das Goswami et al.

So, in general Rupa Manjari can be accepted by someone such as Yamunesvara as their Manjari leader.

As established by Srila Bhakti siddhanta Sarasvati and then Srila Prabhupada, this internal connection and cultivation in Manjari Raga anuga is only something that is practically comprehensible when one on a liberated platform.

Adau sraddha, sadhu sanga, bhajana kriya, anartha nivritt, ruci... (BG As It Is 40.10 purport).

Of course, with second initiation in ISKCON we can consider that one is liberate to the level of Brahman realization ie. There IS a spiritual, eternal, all pervasive reality. Then with Sannyasa or Goswami initiation we expect that the devotee is realizing the deity in His paramatma feature, the Lord of the heart, present in everyone giving specific instruction.

So, in our Parampara we do not give Raganuga initiation until the student has come to this platform of Sannyasa. In the Nectar of Devotion Srila Prabhuapada specifically deprecates, following Srila Bhakti siddhanta Saravati the Siddha pranali initiation which makes this Manjari Raganuga Bhakti initiation while the student is in a very neophyte stage which can cause severe damage to their spiritual progress.

It is as you mention something confidential and Srila Prabhupada can give it being physically present or not. One has to be on the platform above bodily consideration, in complete accord with his Diksa guru and the Parampara.

Is this O.K.?

One does not have to take Sannyasa to be a Goswami. It is a meaningful formality but ladies, Grhasthas all can and eventually must come to the level of Goswamis informally before considering Raganuga Bhakti.

Rupa Goswami gives great details of all these things in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu and Srila Prabhupada gives us perfect access through Nectar of Devotion, and in turn all of the teachings of Narottama Das Thakura come through the BRS.

Nectar of Instruction, Upadesamrta, give an expert summary, and in turn some esteemed devotee such as ourselves of Yamunesvara Das can read even the first text and evaluate his level of development toward Brahman, Paramatma, Bhagavan, Krsna and Manjaris.

Is O.K? We can make practical progress! ? Hope to get to Manipur for Kartika next year.

Thank you so much. Is very, very satisfy to communicate with you. Hope we can do it eternally with the guidance of H. H. B. S. Damodara Swami.

Dear Hanumatpresaka Swami. Please accept our humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to you.

Our esteemed Daughter-in-law's water broke in the morning today and she had a miscarriage 😭😢

It was all so sudden.

The baby was 15 weeks and left the body. Please pray for the baby. It was a boy. She was reading Bhagavatam for the entire time of pregnancy and had almost completed the third canto planning to complete reading the entire Srimad Bhagavatam by the end of her term. We hope we have done something useful in the child’s onward journey. Of course our very beloved daughter-in-law is heartbroken. You hve always be such a guide to our family that in this crisis we hope you, Guru Maharaja and all the devotees bless us with illumnation and strength.

It is only by their mercy that we can try to come out of this tragedy.

HpS - 😳

Abhimanyu, Abhimanyu!!!  Krsna, Pandavas, Kuruksetra, Subhadra!!! Mayi-bharta Das and his wife had a third little baby but it was ot developing cognitive functions. A scan showed that it had no developed cerebral cortex and the doctors predicted death within a few months.

They wrote to Srila Prabhupada and he said that sometimes a yogi or a devotee has a little bit of Karma left, so Krsna picks the proper parents and the Yogi, devotee, can finish it off in a few months.

He told them to just surround the baby with Krsna kirtan and feed him Prasadam

We saw the fellow. He looked quite comfortable and instead of a few months lived in that body for 13-months.

Such a Mother is very hard to find, and the asupicious association of such a great sould, even for 15-weeks is glorious.

They might like to read this and stay in close touch with look toward Lord's plan:

https://vedabase.io/en/library/sb/6/15/

Hare Krsna!!!

Hare Krishna Beloved Gurudeva,

Please accept our humble obeisances,

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada,

Here we are writing our thoughts about this topic because you had requested feedback from the community when you wrote about divorce.

HpS/ASA - Thank you!!!!! AgtSP!!!..... paoho....

Srila Prabhupada clearly explains that there are four Asramas: bramachari, grihastha, vanaprastha and sannyasi. It should be understood by Asrama, as a refuge for spiritual advancement.

And why do we need a shelter? Because this world is Dukhalayam Asasvatam (Bg 8.15) or Anityam Asukham lokam (Bg 9.33), a temporary place full of misfortunes.

And what is the way out of this ocean of suffering? Develop Krishna Consciousness under the guidance of a bona fide spiritual master. Srila Prabhupada established 16 rounds, 4 principles, Sadhu Sanga and Krishna Katha as a bona fide method to awaken our Krishna Consciousness. Therefore, we must try to put ourselves in the most favorable situation to develop these activities.

In the West, the great majority of Devotees find that refuge in the Grihastha Asrama, the married life.

Sadly, in our movement, we have struggled to help Devotees to be successful in married life but several families within Iskcon have had to go through the painful situation of divorce.

We who write included.

Here are some personal reflections on the subject, which I hope can shed some light on the dynamics of marriage and help Devotees to be successful in family life.

My inspiration to talk about this topic comes from:

1. His Holiness Bhakti Vidyapurna Swami's classes,
2. reading of the Grihastha Vision team's book Heart and Soul Connection,
3. discussions with my Asrama Guru His Grace Srila Virabahu,
4. my marriage counselor Héctor Klurfan;
5. and my personal realizations.

• For the followers of Srila Prabhupada, the real refuge is sixteen good rounds a day. Four regulative principles. Perform service alongside sincere Devotees (Sadhu Sanga) and Krishna Katha (read and discuss about the Science of Krishna presented in Srila Prabhupada's books). Everything they do in life, including choosing a life partner, must be subject to the possibility of doing these activities.
• In the words of Srila Virabahu, it is taking about thirty years for the western devotees to become Krishna Conscious. Therefore the choice of the partner should be based on the possibility of being able to practice Bhakti Yoga as established by Srila Prabhupada in Iskcon, rather than on an external form of whether or not my partner is an initiated devotee.
• His Grace Srila Virabahu says that marriage is three things:
• A NEED: A man needs a woman and a woman needs a man.
• A RESPONSIBILITY: Once the commitment to take care of and accompany each other has been made, this commitment must be maintained over time regardless of the circumstances. Divorce should never be an option to resolve a conflict. (see perspectives on divorce).
• A SACRIFICE: Spouses must put up with each other. The Vedas explain that the purpose of marriage is to develop patience, tolerance and humility, in order to have the proper attitude to service Krishna !!
• Devotees who want to enter married life must have a certain degree of financial stability, that is, a clear source of economic income. The lack of financial stability can make family life hell.
• Although astrology is a very useful tool to determine the compatibility between two people, to be able to commit to marriage, a trustworthy astrologer is not always available. And if I receive astrological counseling, it should always be keeping in mind what Srila Prabhupada said about it, that astrology being such a complex science, in Kali yuga, if seven astrologers say the same about a subject, it may be true. THE ASTROLOGY MUST BE ONE AMONG SEVERAL PARAMETERS TO CHOOSE A SPOUSE, AND NOT THE PRINCIPAL.
• I suggest, to be able to choose an appropriate life partner, to follow four rules:

1.  Choose a person who has a similar Karma. What I mean, a person who has a similar upbringing, the same level of trauma and similar life circumstances. When two people with disparate pasts come together, the member with the greatest emotional damage ends up harming his / her partner, unless he / she undertakes an intense reformatory process, be it psychological therapy or the strict practice of Srila Prabhupada's instructions. 
2. Observe and analyze the person's state of consciousness. We can see this taking into account four factors:
3. How are the dynamics and relationships in their core family of origin. How he/she gets along with his/her parents and siblings. Who works in their family? the father, the mother, both, how is their social life?
4. Where does he/she live and what does he/she do? He/she lives alone, with his/her parents, his/her Asrama is clean and tidy. He/she works a lot, little, is responsible, etc.
5. How he/she eats and what he/she does in his spare time, how he/she recreates. He/she cooks, orders ready-made food, it's healthy, it's junk. He likes art, studying, sports, etc.
6. Who are his/her friends? What do they do, what values ​​predominate in that association.
7. Reflect on the ten most important principles for one in relation to family, health care, work, spiritual life, sex life, social life, where you would like to live, children, etc. These principles must match 70% with those of your potential partner, to have an acceptable marriage. Principles can often be shared even though they take different forms. Example: it is very important for both of you to take care of your health, but she emphasizes healthy eating and he physical activity and training. Now if she wants to have three children and he does not want to have children, or she wants to live in the country and he in the city, etc, it is difficult for that marriage to work.
8. Defer sexual life until you have made the commitment to join in marriage. Familiarity is the mother of contempt and there is no greater intimacy between two people than sexual life. If this activity is carried out before a solid commitment, it can lead to confusion, inability to carefully observe the previous points and lead to the failure of the couple in the future.

• If when analyzing the state of consciousness of the person, something arises that draws attention or is uncomfortable or is not compatible, it should be COMMUNICATED, CONVERSED and DISCUSSED carefully. If there is no clarity or agreement on a point, it should be seen as a red flag and an immediate cut-off should be considered when such a discrepancy arises. Holding an important difference with the idea that in the future that difference will disappear is a very common mistake and leads to frustration.
• If when analyzing the person's state of consciousness there are agreements and compatibility, one must wait at least one year to have enough time to interact with the partner in different circumstances and observe the aforementioned points. If no red flag appears, you can proceed to formalize the marriage.
• Once married, the married couple should focus their lives on deity worship and preaching Krishna Consciousness. These activities will help to reduce the attention in the members of the couple, thus reducing friction. This will also help in times of difficulty. Remember what happened to the Yadu Dynasty. 
• The spouses should read and study the Pastime of Kardama Muni and Devahuti, in the third canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, keeping in mind that this is the ideal situation, the role model of married life, but that neither he is Kardama Muni nor she is Devahuti. This helps clarify expectations.
• Spouses must understand the psychology of their partner. A common misconception is that men judge women with the psychology of men and women judge men with the psychology of women. Actually their psychology works differently. Women seek experiences, while men seek goals. For more information I suggest reading the book "Between Heaven and Earth" by Prabhu Mahajan, which explains this topic very well. In short, the correct dynamic of marriage must be: she must feel that he pleases her in all her needs. And he must feel that she admires him. When he pleases and protects her, she naturally admires him. As His Holines Hanumatpresaka Swami states, she always laughs at his jokes and that naturally inspires him.
• It should be understood that the source of happiness is our eternal relationship with Krishna and that the relationships of the body are temporary. Therefore it should not be believed that the spouse will make me happy. The spouse must help me to relate to Krishna so that one can be happy. Expecting something different from your partner is pure illusion, a chimera.
• We must bear in mind that for a relationship to take hold and mature it must take at least seven years. That is why it is frequent and expected that during the first years of the relationship there are tensions and discrepancies.
• In order to deal with the tensions and discrepancies that naturally arise in a relationship, it is essential to have an Asrama Guru, a mature counselor who has been successful in married life. He may be a senior devotee or an experienced therapist. Regular meetings should be held with such a counselor to help spouses reveal their minds and raise their needs, interests, and concerns.
• In the case that the marriage is Homosexual (this is an issue that is not discussed openly in iskcon, but I think it should be considered in order to give shelter to people), it must be identified in the couple, the person who manifests the masculine principle and who the feminine, understanding that polarity must exist, since this polarity exists in the beginning of creation. It can happen that the polarization is dynamic and varies with time. But this issue must be discussed. In relation to sexual life, it must be understood that it is intended to beget children. Therefore, in a homosexual relationship, the gross sexual life must be restricted and the sexual life limited to a subtle and romantic experience. Otherwise this will generate suffering in the future. The principle should be to promote responsibility, commitment and family, regardless of what external form this takes.

I hope these reflections are useful to the community of devotees. I sincerely apologize if anyone has been offended by these lines.

Eternally grateful to be part of the great iskcon family.

At your service,

Nikunja Bihari das.

HpS - Wow! Is vast study. We recognize many points that are universal suggestions. I think the central point is the attitude of trying to help someone else in this specific social relationship become more Krsna conscious.

Then it is easier to include all the other points.

Thank you.

Hare Krishna Amado Gurudeva,

 Por favor acepte nuestras humildes reverencias,

Todas las glorias sean para Srila Prabhupada,

 Aquí escribimos nuestros pensamientos sobre estos temas porque solicitó comentarios de la comunidad cuando escribió sobre el divorcio.

Srila Prabhupada explica claramente que existen cuatro asramas, bramachari, grihastha, vanapratha y sannyasi. Se debe entender por Asrama, cómo un refugio para el avance espiritual.

Y por qué necesitamos un refugio? Porque éste mundo es Dukhalayam Asasvatam (Bg 8.15) o Anityam Asukham lokam (Bg 9.33), un lugar temporal lleno de desdichas.

Y cuál es la manera de salir de éste océano de sufrimiento? Desarrollar Conciencia de Krisna, bajo la guía de un maestro espiritual fidedigno. Srila Prabhupada estableció 16 rondas, 4 principios, Sadhu Sanga y Krishna Katha cómo método fidedigno para despertar nuestra Conciencia de Krishna. Por lo tanto, debemos procurar ponernos en la situación más propicia para desarrollar éstas actividades.

En occidente la gran mayoría de los Devotos encuentran ése refugio en el grihastha Asrama, la vida de casado.

Lamentablemente, en nuestro movimiento, hemos tenido dificultades para ayudar a los Devotos a ser exitosos en la vida de casado y varias familias dentro de iskcon han tenido que atravesar la dolorosa situación de un divorcio. Quien escribe incluido.

A continuación algunas reflexiones personales acerca de la temática, que espero puedan dar un poco de claridad acerca de la dinámica del matrimonio y ayudar a los Devotos a ser exitosos en la vida familiar. Mi inspiración para hablar de éste tema viene de las clases de Su Santidad Bhakti Vidyapurna Swami, lectura del libro Heart and Soul Connection del Grihastha Vision team, discusiones con mi Asrama Guru Su Gracia Srila Virabahu, mi consejero matrimonial Héctor Klurfan; y mis realizaciones personales.

• Para los seguidores de Srila Prabhupada, el verdadero refugio es, dieciséis buenas rondas por día. Cuatro principios regulativos. Realizar servicio junto a Devotos sinceros (Sadhu Sanga) y Krishna Katha (leer y discutir acerca de la Ciencia de Krisna presentada en los libros de Srila Prabhupada). Todo lo que este haga en la vida, inclusive elegir un/una compañero/a de vida, debe estar supeditado a la posibilidad de realizar estas actividades. 
• Según palabras de Srila Virabahu, le está costando aproximadamente treinta años a los devotos de occidente volverse Concientes de Krishna. Por lo tanto la elección de la pareja debe basarse en la posibilidad de poder practicar Bhakti Yoga como lo estableció Srila Prabhupada en iskcon, más que en una forma externa de si mi pareja es o no devota/o iniciada/o.
• Su Gracia Srila Virabahu dice que el matrimonio son tres cosas:
• Una NECESIDAD: Un hombre necesita una mujer y una mujer necesita un hombre.
• Una RESPONSABILIDAD: Una vez asumido el compromiso de cuidarse y acompañarse mutuamente, se debe mantener dicho compromiso en el tiempo independientemente de las circunstancias. El divorcio nunca debe ser una opción para resolver un conflicto. (ver perspectivas acerca del divorcio).
• Un SACRIFICIO: Los cónyuges deben soportarse. Los Vedas explican que la finalidad del matrimonio es desarrollar, paciencia, tolerancia y humildad, para poder tener la actitud adecuada para servir a Krishna!!
• Los Devotos que quieran entrar en la vida de casado deben tener cierto grado de estabilidad financiera, es decir una fuente clara de ingresos económicos. La carencia de una estabilidad económica, puede tornar la vida familiar un infierno.
• Si bien la astrología es una herramienta muy útil para determinar la compatibilidad entre dos personas para poder comprometerse en matrimonio, no siempre está disponible un astrólogo fidedigno. Y si recibo consejería astrológica, siempre debe ser teniendo en cuenta lo que dijo Srila Prabhupada al respecto, que al ser la astrología una ciencia tan compleja, en Kali yuga si siete astrólogos dicen lo mismo acerca de un tema, tal vez sea cierto. LA ASTROLOGÍA DEBE SER UNA MAS DE VARIOS PARÁMETROS PARA ELEGIR UN/UNA ESPOSO/A, y NO el PRINCIPAL.
• Sugiero para poder elegir un/una compañero/a de vida apropiado seguir cuatro reglas: 

1.  Elegir a una persona que tenga un Karma similar. A ésto me refiero, una persona que tenga una crianza parecida, mismo nivel de traumas y circunstancias de vida similares. Cuando se juntan dos personas con pasados dispares, el integrante con mayor daño emocional termina dañando a su compañera/o, al menos que éste emprenda un proceso reformatorio intenso, ya sea una terapia psicológica o la práctica estricta de las instrucciones de Srila Prabhupada.
2. Observar y analizar el estado de conciencia de la persona. Ésto lo podemos ver teniendo en cuenta cuatro factores
3. Cómo es la dinámica y las relaciones en su familia núcleo de origen. Cómo se lleva con sus padres y hermanos. Quienes trabajan en su familia, el padre, la madre, ambos, cómo es la vida social de ellos. 
4. Dónde vive y a que se dedica. Vive sólo, con los padres, su Asrama está limpio y ordenado. Trabaja mucho, poco, es responsable, etc.
5. Cómo se alimenta y que hace en su tiempo libre, cómo se recrea. Cocina, pide comida hecha, es saludable, es chatarra. Le gusta el arte, estudiar, el deporte, etc.
6. Quienes son sus amistades. Que hacen, que valores predominan en ésa asociación.
7. Reflexionar acerca de los diez principios más importantes para uno en relación a la familia, el cuidado de la salud, el trabajo, la vida espiritual, la vida sexual, la vida social, el lugar dónde le gustaría vivir, los hijos, etc. Éstos principios deberan coincidir en un 70% con los de su potencial pareja, para tener un matrimonio aceptable. Muchas veces se pueden compartir los principios aunque éstos tomen diferentes formas. Ejemplo: para ambos es muy importante cuidar la salud, pero ella pone énfasis en la alimentación saludable y el en la actividad física y el entrenamiento. Ahora si ella quiere tener tres hijos y él no quiere tener hijos, o ella quiere vivir en el campo y el en la ciudad, etc, es dificil que ese matrimonio funcione.
8. Diferir la vida sexual hasta haber concretado el compromiso de unirse en matrimonio. La familiaridad es la madre del desprecio y no existe mayor intimidad entre dos personas que la vida sexual. Si ésta actividad se realiza antes de un compromiso sólido, puede llevar a confusión, incapacidad de observar detenidamente los puntos anteriores y llevar al fracaso de la pareja en un futuro.

• Si al analizar el estado de conciencia de la persona surge algo que llama la atención o incómoda o no es compatible, se debe COMUNICAR, CONVERSAR y DISCUTIR detenidamente. Si no hay claridad o acuerdo en un punto, debe considerarse como una luz roja y se debe evaluar cortar la relación inmediatamente cuando dicha discrepancia surja. Sostener una diferencia importante con la idea que en el futuro ésa diferencia desaparecerá es un error muy común y lleva a la frustración. 
• Si al analizar el estado de conciencia de la persona hay acuerdos y compatibilidad, se debe esperar mínimo un año para tener tiempo suficiente de interactuar con el/la compañero/a en diferentes circunstancias y observar los puntos antes mencionados. Si no surgiera ninguna luz roja, se puede proceder a formalizar el matrimonio.
• Una vez casados el matrimonio debe centrar su vida en la adoración de la deidad y propagar la Conciencia de Krishna. Dichas actividades ayudarán a disminuir la atención en los integrantes de la pareja, disminuyendo así la fricción. Ésto también ayudará en los momentos de dificultad. Recuerden que sucedió con la dinastía Yadu.
• Los cónyuges deben leer y estudiar el Pasatiempo de Kardama Muni y Devahuti, en el tercer canto del Srimad Bhagavatam, teniendo en cuenta que ésa es la situación ideal, el ejemplo a seguir de la vida de casado, pero que ni él es Kardama Muni ni ella es Devahuti. Ésto ayuda a clarificar las expectativas.
• Los cónyuges deben entender la psicología de su compañera/o. Un error común es que los hombres juzgan a las mujeres con la psicología de los hombres y las mujeres juzgan a los hombres con la psicología de las mujeres. En realidad su psicología funciona diferente. Las mujeres buscan experiencias, mientras los hombres buscan metas. Para mayor información sugiero leer el libro “Entre el cielo y la tierra'' de Prabhu Mahajan, que explica muy bien ésta temática. En síntesis la dinámica correcta del matrimonio debe ser: ella debe sentir que él la complace en todas sus necesidades. Y él debe sentir que ella lo admira. Cuándo él la complace y protege, ella naturalmente lo admira. Como afirma Su Santidad Hanumat Presak Swami, ella siempre se ríe de sus bromas.
• Se debe entender que la fuente de la felicidad es nuestra relación eterna con Krisna y que las relaciones del cuerpo son temporales. Por lo tanto no se debe creer que el cónyuge me hará feliz. El cónyuge debe ayudarme a relacionarme con Krisna para uno poder ser feliz. Esperar algo diferente de la pareja es pura ilusión, una quimera.
• Debemos tener en cuenta que para que una relación se afiance y madure deben pasar al menos siete años. Por eso es frecuente y esperable que durante los primeros años de relación haya tensiones y discrepancias.
• Para poder lidiar con las tensiones y discrepancias que naturalmente surgen en una relación de pareja, es fundamental tener un Asrama Guru, un consejero maduro y que haya sido exitoso en la vida matrimonial. Puede ser un devoto mayor o un terapeuta con experiencia en la temática. Se deben tener encuentros periódicos con dicho consejero para ayudar a los cónyuges a revelar su mente y plantear sus necesidades, intereses y preocupaciones.
• En el caso que el matrimonio sea Homosexual (ésto es un tema que no se habla abiertamente en iskcon, pero creo debería considerase para poder dar refugio a las personas), se debe identificar en la pareja quien manifiesta el principio masculino y quién el femenino, entendiendo que la polaridad debe existir ya que esta polaridad existe en el principio de la creación. Puede ocurrir que la polarización sea dinámica y varíe con el tiempo. Pero se debe discutir éste tema. En relación a la vida sexual se debe entender que la misma tiene como objeto engendrar niños. Por lo tanto en una relación homosexual se debe restringir la vida sexual burda y circunscribir la vida sexual a una experiencia sutil y romántica. De lo contrario ésto va a generar sufrimiento en el futuro. El principio debe ser promover la responsabilidad, el compromiso y la familia, independientemente de la forma externa que esto tome.

Espero que estas reflexiones sean de utilidad para la comunidad de devotos. Pido mis sinceras disculpas si alguien se ha sentido ofendido con éstas líneas.

Eternamente agradecido por formar parte de la gran familia de iskcon.

A su servicio,

Nikunja Bihari das.

PAMHO

AGTSSGN

AGTSP

Dear Gurudev, hoping your health is fine and your sankirtan will please to Srila Prabhupada.

I wanted to show you this work.

At the request of CMDD, I made this Logotype for the project in Peru, which could be used for any purpose.

Your Servant and eternal well-wisher, Parasurama Avatar Das.

Santiago-Chile.

HpS - ASA - Es super hermoso, concentrado! ! !

asa-e; vad; grhasta; divorce

We have been participating in discussions of grhastha ashrama and divorce. We remember that we made some recommendations in: https://monkeywarrior.com/detail/12644/

Here are some responses to our very humble, small, ideas:

Dear Maharaj, please accept my respectful obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

My understanding of your advice is, that Tara Dasi and I can get separated legally, to allow me to legally accept a new wife.

HpS - We are suggesting it as a second class solution. Improving the relationship with her to make a functional marriage is first class.

In such a case the divorce would only be a formality to satisfy civil laws but all legal arrangements would be made so that the real substance of the situation is insured and clear.

As we understand reality a man cannot divorce a chaste wife. He must take proper care of the first and then may try again. It is like one not liking his first child. He cannot abandon the first, must give it all love, even in the form of chastisement, and then try to get another.

Hare Krsna! 😊

These things are automatic if our spiritual life is healthy, no?

I need to ensure I give her a comfortable amount of money, to sustain peacefully and live a reasonable middle class life. I also need to ensure that she is emotionally doing well under her parents/brother's care, until/if she remarries.

I wanted to raise my concerns regarding taking care of her emotional needs after divorce. Firstly, I haven't been able to adequately take care of them, even when married, as I never fully understood them and also found them to be too demanding.

HpS - If a child, wife is mad, then we can only try to satisfy their physical, psychological and spiritual needs, but we must offer the help, and learn how to do the job better. Reasonable healthy life.

All the more, after divorce, it would be very detrimental to second marriage, and I was planning to discontinue all communication with Tara Dasi after marriage, to enable a more peaceful second marriage.

HpS - As we understand, this is the big illusion that developed in this modern, industrialized, world, that real marriage is a superficial arrangement, like buying a car, but that is what our perspective in this situation denies. Getting married really, not just having a business arrangement with the opposite sex for immediate purposes, is a long time commitment, just like having a child. We can sell our car and buy a new one, but it is difficult to separate ourselves from a wife, child, parent.

Again this is reading Vedic wisdom from a self realized soul, and our own depth experience of the situation for over fifty years.

The second (or we see third, fourth, fifth!) wife is going to be quite conscious of the fact that the husband divorced a previous wife: If I give myself to him in marriage, will he really take care of me?

By the mercy of the continuous chanting of the Holy Names all these things can be practically resolved.

Requesting you to please allow to discontinue all communication and contact with Tara Dasi post separation, to allow both of us to move on emotionally and connect better with the future new partners.

HpS - My Lord, we are not the authority to "allow" these things. As we have mentioned, we only want to be a friend and counselor to everyone involved and give more general expression to these dialogs so that they can have some broader benefit.

Of course, there are so many details. Srila Prabhupada recommends Parasara Muni's Dharma Sastra [https://vedabase.io/en/library/sb/1/9/27/#bb15336] to get guidance on how to deal with our marriage, automobile ownership/maintenance, and I think we have enough energy to discuss these things from our perspective in general for a couple of more years.

Then we will die (😉), but from now on I think we can only handle them in letters posted here in the Blog, preferable by all the parties involved ie. Let us send a summary of our situation to The Wizard of Monkey Warrior, and get his opinion.

O.K? Any comments here? 🐘

Your servant,

Yogananda