Hare Krishna Maharaja, please kindly accept my most humble obeisances; all glories to his divine grace, Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada-our founder acharya.
I had tried to access your blog here on a number of occasions in the recent past, but something kept popping up on my computer that said "sight not secure," and it wouldn't let me access your sight. By her kindness, Mother Kama Gayatri helped me to correct the issue, and so now I can once again reach out to you with my thoughts.
I did write some things in the black composition book that you had distributed and listed it on the "Special Categories" of your blog, but after a couple of months the site said that you still hadn't read it, which I thought strange. I chose to delete the both of the offerings, thinking that it would seem out of place due to untimeliness.
However, I do still have the compositions, if you feel it appropriate for me to submit my writings at any time.
HpS - It is very nice to hear from you! We are trekking through the jungle of north east india with Simba the lion and Boo Boo the baboon and 40-other devotees.
Sorry you had trouble with the BLog. Some times we can't answer everythng but we communicate that and ask everyone to send again!
Yes,, lobve to see hard copies. Back in USA like 24th.
Calendar in the Kapi Dhvaja.
At present I am cooking one day a week for the Deities at the temple. That means going on the altar to make the offering and then putting Their Lordships to rest each Thursday. My wife and I are able to maintain some sadhana with regular morning program, but my online classes came to a standstill. However, I am trying to revive them, beginning with a Srimad Bhagavatam class in the morning,at least 3 times a week. Japa is poor as usual, and my offenses seem to persist no matter what. I have had to come out of full retirement and return to work due to recently incurred dental costs running into the thousands on my part. Not wanting to return to work as a caregiver I have taken up driving for Uber, as it allows me to work when I want, quit when I want, and create whatever schedule I want. This makes it possible for me to structure my worldly realities around my devoitional practices.
HpS - 'ey, Mate, you seem to be hav'n some really good opportinities. Also Uber lets you meet a lot of people. Join'n the Jayananda Das sampradaya.
I still have a great struggle with my material desires. Consciously I am not motivated by these desires, but inwardly they never leave me alone. I guess it's very much like being haunted by ghosts. When I was younger I used to think that in my retirement years it would be easier to focus more clearly on my spiritual goals and practices due to years of accumulated wisdom in Krishna consciusness. But the reality is that I have come to sense how there really isn't any improvement in my character when it comes to rising above my material desires. I am just as sinful as ever, just as attached as ever and just as ignorant. The only thing that has changed is that I am older, and I am still not at all Krishna conscious. How it is that I am able to at all maintain any sadhana throughout all these years as a pretentious devotee is beyond me, especially given my ongoing offenses. I can only say that it by the causeless of your good self, Srila Prabhupada and all the acharyas, and the causelss mercy of Lord Krishna that I am still allowed to maintain some sadhana. And I wonder what sort of consciousness I will be in when it comes to die: an incident that I ponder more regularly as I continue to get older
although there is so much more that I have been wanting to share with you, I think I shall close here, as I have already taken up so much of your time. I wish to close by begging for your forgiveness for being so incompetent in my devotional service. I did try and reach out to you at the time of your Vyasapuja, but as I explained earlier, I didn't know how to access your blog. Fortunately I can once again reach out to you: thank God!
Your lowly servant,
Balabhadra dasa
HpS - So, good to hear from you! I feel like you in many ways. My K.C. in a large degree is finally seeing my material attachments clearly, and having the determination by Guruu kripa to take up the task of removing them by "HK/HR" even if it takes several life times.
Please tell us of your Deity service at home?
