Hare Krishna Maharaj,
I hope this email finds you well. Hope your health is progressing.
HpS - Just like you our health is 'progressing' to the crematorium. Puff! Better to 'jump ship'.
It’s been a while since I’ve “checked in”. As far as new news- I started a new job about a month ago and basically focusing on that.
ASA - Banana bowler?
I had an arranged proposal from a devotee from the UK and it didn’t work out for reasons beyond my understanding. It was an intense reunion, very emotionally fueled. Perhaps we had some unresolved karma to burn through. All the astrologers said we were a good match though which made it more disappointing. I’m trying to get through it and keep faith that Krishna has someone better in store.
ASA - Krsna is a jealous lover.
I’m working on progressing my Sadhana. Spending more time with devotees and cooking and offering. Morning program is steady every day. Chanting isn’t steady but its good when it is. I've recently confronted my feelings of being distant to SP. I’m not sure why that it is but ive read books by SP as well as his disciples to get a better understanding and feel close. And at the end of the day – I feel like he’s just not accepting me. This is a harsh feeling to confront but I’d like to try to do everything to help me change my mindset. Even when I see his Murtis at the temple, it feels like he’s disappointed in me.
HpS - Hmmm? He is very merciful. We are ashamed how much we have abused his mercy and we TRY to be better. Part of it is not that we are arrogant, but that we are just not well educated. THE WITCH tricks us.
O.K. Back at it. "Love is not love that bends with the remover to remove, but it is an ever fixed star to each wandering bark whose depth is taken but worth unknown," Old ENglish. Anon amouse!
So in a nutshell- there’s been lots going on and my mind is everywhere but I’m praying to be eagerly engaged in service and thoughts of Hari. I pray everyday for clarity and signs. I keep in touch with my godbrothers and we’re all gripping to fight against maya. It’s a struggle.
I pray for your protection and also pray for guidance.
Thank you for your mercy maharaj.
Your struggling/aspiring servant,
HpS - Best wishes!!! Get the secret code from the Letters to the Editor in the Kapi Dhvaja to get more attention to letters.