Hare Krsna Gurudeva
Finally you are with us in Peru, we are sooo fortunate! I cannot visit you yet because I am studying, and because the semester is coming to end, it is becoming more intense. I am going to offer my obeisance to you this weekend at Chosica.
About Gopa Kumar, he is doing lot's of service at Govinda Valley, working hard on his service and sadhana . We talk regularly by Skype. I help him (sometimes, when I am able) to wake up at 4am (1pm of the previous day for me), and he do the same for me ( I guest 4am in Peru is 7pm in Australia). We talk, and he also help me to understand things when I feel confused. He is saving money to buy a ticket for me the next year, but we don't know yet what kind of arrangement we will do for the visa and all that. We are thinking about plans: where to live permanently? Country? Australia, Peru,... Mayapura, ...or it could be Chile, Mexico, ......Radhadesh, ...? Where we ca find a nice place to develop, good association, programs, way to mantain ourselves? What community can we take shelter to engage in service with?
My father is ok, pulled by karma to work very hard for us. He is experiencing frustration after many years working on how to make our country a best place, he sees all his endeavor at last is very insignificant, and becomes nothing in the chaotic admosphere of the public administration. He told me he is chanting little Hare Krsna (he even ask me a japa to chant one round), because he "needs help". I don't know if he is steal doing. But he is very respectful with prasada, and he takes it with a nice attitude.
Gurudeva, I write to you now because I miss not to be there in Chosica. I have many difficulties, bad qualities are coming out this days, I don't know if it is by my association (sleeping at home, no spiritual regulations in the admosphere), or because my prasadam has no a nice standar now (cooked by the person who cooks at home, she is not devotee, not vegeterian, but she likes me very much and she do whathever I ask her -not to taste, not onions,etc- she likes to cook for me, I was fleeing but at last I am sentimentalist and I took "advantage" to arrange like that my prasada. But I think is not good idea). Even if I feel very very convinced about Krsna and everything, I am weak, I cannot remain strong when the obstacles comes, I don't have proper understanding or training, I have many bad qualities not usefull for devotional service. I don't deserve to have your association, but any way I don't trust any other shelter, thank you to be compassionate with me, I will go soon to see you and listen your classes. I wish to improve, to learn, but I feel confused about the path I am taking... I am chanting my rounds every day, some days they are good rounds, others so so. I see there is very close a path wich leads to spiritual success, but I don't know if I am really in that path... maybe in a long long time... But I think I am at least in some way in contact with Krsna, so there is hope for me!? But I feel little lost, maybe steal not good bases to grow. Krsna have a plan for me also?
Thank you Gurudeva, I am really gratefull to be able to have you association, how can I take really advantage?
It is illusion if I try to feel happy in contact with Krsna conciousnees despite my personal situation is mediocre?
Ok, this is too long... ah, I didn't wrote sattva report on bhima ekadasi, I became stupid with the fasting because I had an agitated morning at the school and many things... I am very stupid!! Gurudeva don't kick me away please!!
I have sankirtan results for you, long time I wish to send them, maybe personally? they are not here now...
Gurudeva I wish to receive your mercy, yasya prasadam bhagavat prasadam...
Hare Krsna, your servant, b.Natalia
(excuse me, is too long, it's why I wait some time between each mail, because I take too much of your time) All glories to tour service Gurudeva!
HpS - AGTSP Thank you so much for your letter. Very intense. Yes, is good to cook as much as you can. Cook for Krsna. Offer what is cooked by strict vegetarian people. I think that if you just make that one change everything will be 90% better. Visaya anna kaila, hana dusta mana. It is from Caitanya caritamrta. Lord Caitanyta says, cited in NOI ---- ONE WHO EATS GRAINS COOKED BY MATERIALY ENTANGLED PEOPLE HE ALSO BECOMES MATERIALLY ENTANGLED, WICKED MINDED!
We are very happy to see you in the programs and when we go to Lima next Wednesday we can talk more maybe. We will be there until 1st July!!! Thank you so much for your efforts. They are helping!!!! My respects to your father. Tell him that we are trying to do the same thing as him and experiencing the same frustration at La Cantuta even today.