LOST IN CANCUN
Hare Krishna dear Gurudeva!
Please accept my respectful obeisances... all glories to Srila Prabhupada!
HpS - AGTSP!!!
I hope you are in good health at the time to receive this letter or, at least, the better as is possible.
I'm writing just to share with you what about me these last 6 weeks in mexican caribbean.
I came to Cancun 25th april as brand manager of a chilean fashion cloth trademark. The owner and designer of the trademark is a 52 years old woman. During the chilean summer time we was working together and we fall in love. In march we went to Lima to made a market study in Gamarra (textile industry), and we spend the nights in María and Abhirama's home, 1 week. They are so nice, they are so loving and gentle, the best hosts of life. I'm so grateful to them, for that and for everything. They are the bests. I sincerely appreciate them so much.
After this trip we (she and I) had some problems related to the way she began to treat me as our relationship intensified, so, I decided to broke up with our romance. The next days she was searching and searching me, then I was agree to get together to talk; besides, the flight tickets to Cancun were already bought. In this meeting she cried and cried a lot, asking me apologize, she said "never more", "I will learn", and stuffs like that, so, a few days after we recommence our romantic relationship, just 2 weeks, or less, before travel to México.
She was an atheist 3 years ago, but she connected strongly with God through Christianity and its supposed she became vegetarian because of me, or rather, at the moment to know me. And since the first moment she was always very favorable in relation to Krishna Consciousness, she always asked to me about Krishna and wanted to know more and more, even once I showed to her a video of Srila Prabhupada (the one that He says "one minute ... ") and she began to cry and said "everything He says, it's true ... "
So, once upon in Cancun airport we went immediately to Playa del Carmen, cause her mother with new husband, her father and her brother with daughter and son (3 differents homes) live there since 4 years ago, approx. So, we went to live with my girlfriend's mother.
Saturday 27th april, her family made a wellcome party, was included meat of dead animals barbecue, alcohol... even we both (she and I) realized that her brother and new wife was under the influence of cocaine, very common drug in those places. They started bothering me about being a vegetarian and after a while I felt very very unconfortable, and not only because I'm trying to become into a vaishnava, I'm vegeterian around 15 years ago, I don't drink alcohol since 5 or 6 years ago, and even before I get realized that Krishna is God, I really dislike a lot, too much, that environment and that kind of people, but I tried to resist a little bit more just because of my girlfriend. But after a while, and all that distortion deepened, I just could not take it anymore, so I talked to my girlfriend "I'll go for a walk a while and chant some rounds, do you want to come with me?" Off course she said she could not do it. Once walking in the streets with my japa I really felt big relief and I didn't want to came back to that party, so I just decided not to think about it and just absorbe myself into my japa and The Maha Mantra. I returned to the house around 9 pm, 4 hours after leaving their party. Upon arriving I noticed that everyone was mad about me, and to my surprise, even more she, my girlfriend.
Her mother was very kind in letting me occupy the kitchen to prepare our prasadam, and when she saw me burning the pots and pans, etc... she was impressed and when she asked why I was doing that, she was more impressed. Previously, before traveling, my girlfriend had talked to her mother explaining to her that we are vegetarians and asked her to allow me to occupy her kitchen to prepare our special foods. Since the beginning, the mother was upon me, watching everything, asking everything... off course, I always had sincerely answers to her questions. And almost every day my girlfriend said to me thinks like "my mother said you are burning her kitchen tools, she thinks that you are weird... my mother said that you are praying while you are cooking, I think she is afraid about you..." Besides this, they got a lot of problems between them, one against other, and my girlfriend criticized them all the time.
So, we tried to focus in the business and during the 2 first weeks we put her fashion collections in 2 exclusive stores in Hotel Zone of Tulum and 1 of Playa del Carmen. But our romantic relationship was not going well and I didn't like her anymore. But I decided to resist until the end; and prayed everyday to Krishna for help.
Tuesday 7th may. That day was my turn to lead the initial kirtan. After FMP I keep chanting rounds (most of the time I go to sleep again), and when the light of sun started to rise, I wanted to check my girlfriend's email to know if we get some answer from our potential customers, I was waiting some replies (only a few days before her mobile phone died; so, she used my mobile to see her accounts, gmail, social networks, etc.). And I found a lot of emails (many) from her ex boyfriend (the man just before me) and, because the dates and communication they had, I realized that she kept the relationship with him and simoustanely with me, at least at the beginning of our romance. So, my heart was broken, one more time, but after some minutes I didn't care at all, and started giving thanks to Krishna.
That day and next I tried to act normally, I didn't tell her nothing, just focus more and more in the business, but by nights I showed I was so tired and needed to sleep early to woke up early by the morning to FMP.
Thursday 9th may. I really didn't take it anymore. By the night, before I slept, I prayed to Krishna a lot, with all my heart, I really was so sad and so tired of everything, "please, my Lord, take my out of here, take me out of here, take me out of here, I cannot handle this anymore, please, my Lord, take my out of here..."
Friday 10th may. I woke up in the morning (woke up again, few hours after finished FMP) and I remembered some very strange dreams I had that same night about my father (biological father in this lifetime), very strange and violent nightmares ... I felt that I have not overcome him yet. My girlfriend wasn't in the room when I woke up, and she appeared almost 1 hour later and she said "Carlos, I need to talk with you... my mother... and me... I think will be better you leave..." Was amazing! I really felt so so happy! I tried to dissimulate... And I replied "it's ok, I will leave right now". And my own true trip began.
Once into the car towards Cancun I realized some things that I have read in the sastras: it is so dangerous to keep deep association with non devotees. Anyway, I did my best, I gave the best of me, even I helped a lot with a move of home (in fact, I did everything almost alone), I delivered prasadam and books to them and their heard the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra. I thought "my work there is already done, finished".
I arrived Cancun around 2 pm and took a taxi to "Gopals", Hare Krishna Iskcon restaurant. Previously, in Chile, a mexican devotee who lives in Santiago, Dina Dayal Das, gave the contacts to me. When I came to Gopals they receive me very gentle and they gave me prasadam for free !! All glories to Srila Prabhupada !! They helped me to find a place to live the coming time. They haven't got the Temple finished here, they have got a farm one hour in car from Cancun, the same family owner of Gopals Restaurant, and they are building, I didn't go to know the place, a pretext to return to this beautiful lands. Gopals distributes Prabhupada's books , they have been the best shelter; so, we negociated a special price for me, and I was able to distribute His books during my stay here. Eternal gratitude and all glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Here in Cancun I have been able to chant my 16 rounds almost every day, I have went to the beach and practiced sports almost every day. Quiet books distribution every day. Krishna is so good with me: here I started to contact some mexican manufacturers of organic products, like neem tooth paste, organic chili sauce... very good products and one of the enterprises is a big one, and they sent to me samples of their products, because they want to open the business in Southamerica, and by someway I convinced them that I am the man. So this represents a very good oportunity to increase my comercials activities. Now, I already getting legal asesory with my lawyers in Chile, I want to do this and I want to do it right.
I spend 5 days in Isla Mujeres sharing association with Sajjan Swami (this thanks to a very nice mexican Gaudiya Matha devotee I met in Bacalar Lagoon, Mukunda Das), I told you about this in a previous letter. He was like a Krishna's gift in that difficult moment into my heart and confussed mind after "Playa del Karma". I realized that Krishna is with me all the time, everytime, and He send their devotees to rescue a fallen soul like me who wants to do things right and learn how to grow. Maharaja really appreciates you a lot. He told me that 3 years ago approx. you both shared good times association in Santiago de Chile. Everyday in the island I told to him about You, that You are my Guru Maharaja, that I just want to be your disciple and servant and how now I'm bracing myself and doing things right to be able to receive Your mercy. I told to him about how you communicate with your disciples all over the world through Monkey Warrior Blog, about daily FMP and daily Bhagavatam Classes, about NIOS, your sankirtan and international academic events, about ""Psychology and the Sacred, "Art and the Sacred" and "Education and the sacred"... he was really impress, and started to glorify you and said that I'm very very lucky for being shelterd into your lotus feet, Gurudeva.
Tuesday 21th may, the 4th day sharing association with maharaja. Was my turn to lead the initial kirtan in FMP and later the Bhagavatam Class was coming. The day before I asked to maharaja that I wanted to surprised you and I invited him to listent the class and later say something to you, and He was agree! He is really very loving. I send a picture to you with the moment You and maharaja was talking through my phone. That time, maharaja, 2 devotees and me, we all togheter listened your whole class. I am so grateful for those moments. I dont't undertand those institutional differences and I feel isn't a big trouble anyway, I feel the most important thing in life is developing pure love for God, Krishna Prema, no matter religion or institution... on the other hand, Srila Prabhupada belonged and came from Gaudiya Matha, the institution of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, one of our greatests acaryas, so, there is no difference to me... any way, I belong to You, Guru Maharaja. And I belong to Iskcon because is our home in this Earth, the home that Srila Prabhupada built. And Srila Prabhupada saved my life. I owe my life to Him. And I owe my life to your mercy, please, Gurudeva.
This last days I have been connecting some universities, trying to generate attraction towards NIOS and our international academic events. And today, the last day before come back to Chile... and Voila! Finally I got a meeting in the main public university here: Universidad del Caribe. This morning, after Bhagavatam Class, I was talking with Emilio Reyner, Director of Art and Culture Area and Communications External Affairs. I told him about NIOS and the events around the world, I gave to him a Solaris and some books ("Wonderful Stories from India", "Journey towards the Self Knowledgment", "Science of Self Realization" and Prabhupada's biography - pocket versions - and "8 Phases of Yoga"). I said to him that books could be for him or a donation to the university library. Inside everything I told him, I talked about Dolores Chávez and José Luis Valencia, the mexican exposers for Lima "Art and the Sacred", I did it with the intention of generating a feeling of belonging into him. He showed very favorable and said yes, that is so possible to establish and alliance between NIOS and Universidad del Caribe. He said he wants to know more about our activities around the world and he will waiting for my email with a formal proposal to make a big event together.
Mister Emilio said they have a big and nice auditorium, but they could help to find a biggest place if we want to do something bigger; and also said as they are a public university they haven't got enough resources, but they can help with contacts and influence to raise resources together. I'm sure that I could come to produce a big event here, also Arjuna Das, and above all Abhirama Thakur Das, or better: we us 3!
"Knowledge and Culture for Human Development" is the slogan of the university. Finally, I talked about this year event "Education and The Sacred", and said that part of our theoretical framework for this series of events are the ancient Greeks, ancient Egypcian Civilization, the ancient vedic civilization from India and also ancient Maya Civilization from mexican caribbean. I did it to provoke more interest into him and because I were reading previously about the university, their Mission, etc., and they are very influenced by Maya Ancient Culture.
http://unicaribe.mx/
I don't wanna see neither talk to my ex girlfriend anymore, but I will see her tomorrow, tuesday 4th june I've got the flight back (I bought different seatings) to Chile with long scale in Lima (11 hours between 9 pm to 8 am wednesday), and I thinking maybe I will try to go to Wilson Temple or I will stay in the airport. I don't wanna bother María and Abhirama again, they are so good, I don't deserve their friendship. I really miss so much Belém, my daughter; and my activities in Chile, but this last not too much in fact. Anyway, I'm a monkey warrior, only just thanks to your mercy, Gurudeva, and Krishna's mercy. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!
I was thinking about not to lead the tuesday's kirtan in FMP anymore, because I have been doing it very bad and sincerely I'm not able to improve that service right now, and if I do it wrong, as I have been did it all this time, is a offensive. Right now, in this precise time of my life, I preffer to do few things, but do them right. And you know, I can be pretty good serving in the events productions, this is only thanks to the association with devotees who inspire us through their way to serve. I preffer to focus my service to you just in the event productions, please Gurudeva.
I've got ticket flights to Lima to work in "Education and The Sacred", to be the servant of my dear friend and godbrother, Abhirama. I will arrive 17th october and will stay until 1st november.
This last weekend I translated into spanish the triptych You gave to Arjuna Das, he ask me to do this.
Please, let me serve you just one more time... and please forgive my offenses, I'm so dumb.
Your aspiring discilpe and servant,
Carlos Rold.
P.S.: I will be owing to you the pictures, I do not understand why, but I can not upload them, I was trying for a long time.
HpS - Wow!!! Ooof! Such a long letter! We read most of it and scanned some more. The four regulative priniciples save us from the claws of The Witch! You seem to be doing O.K. On the correct path. Forward. Forward. Forward!!!!!!
More news (but shorter, like a journalist).
