Krsna Kirtan Das, Trying to be a real Das...
Hare Krsna Gurumaharaja!
Please accept my humble and sincere obeisances
All glories to Srila Prabhupada and you!
All glories to Sankirtan movement of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu!
Im sorry for waiting so long to write you, even worst, for telling you i was going to write since last week and doing it just now, i would really like to say i was overwelmed by so much service we are traing to develop in this kshetra, still i had time to spend in my own personal activities so, that would be a lie, i'm really making an effort to start telling allways the truth even when it buys a pain-ticket for me; ¡IT IS VEEEEERY HARD!
ASA - If you are completely honest you don't have to remember anything - Mark Twain
I am very gratefull to you for the example you always give to us, your aspirant to disciples, each day is a struggle to continue in this path while we dumbly still carring the over-wheight of our anarthas, still we have a great moto. we have 2 months with the preaching center here in Queretaro, we are serving very nice boys and girls who enthusiastically are eager to learn about Sri Krsna, also selling prasada in many places.
Gurudeva, i had a big inner fight because i was very attached to sankirtana while i was in the ashram, but, since 1 year ago when i started to travel and collecting for my own preaching programs (also some offered material gratification) i felt a great change in my attitude towards sankirtana, i wast just doing it because i needed to... it was allways a great fight with the mind to get out, of course, also a great nectar when i started to speak with the ppl, so 2 weeks ago i spoke with Vanamali Prabhu and asked him to allow me to work with them into the prasada distribution and go out in sankirtana at weekends; i completely felt the changes, im very happy to get out and preach, many honest ppl had approached to the preaching center and wonderfull things had happen since i changed the direction i was heading, yesterder i went to sankirtana with marco, a visitor devotee, and i did 35 books in 1:15 hours, i was soooo happy that Lord Caitanya allowed me to taste that nectar again, that i could not forget how important is the purity with which we are doing any service which is our service for the Sankirtana Movement.
Last weekend Aravinda Prabhu visited us accompanied by his wife, 5 or 7 matajis, and Gokulananda Das Brahmacari. We had ecstatic programs, many many benefited persons who came to them, many many distributed books in the streets and also a big party of tacos to say good bye to our honorable guests; maybe, next monday, if maharaja agree, Aravinda Prabhu will bring Dhanvantari Swami to meet the place, since they are traveling to Cueramaro.
PD: i have to admit that i felt like not valored by the devotees because every time Aravinda Prabhu would say something nice about the preaching in Queretaro, he would give the whole credit to Vanamali Prabhu and his wife Thakurani Sri Mataji; honestly, im allways feeling that i have put so much into this project since one year ago, so, when somebody speak nice about all other devotees participating in this service but me, i feel hurted. i know those are not the feelings of a servant, still, i felt that, Gurudeva, what can i do to change that desiree of prestige in my heart?
Thank you very much for being so kind with this selfish rascal.
Your aspiring to disciple:
Krsna-kirtana Dasa
HpS - AGTSP. Thank you for the nice news. Bhaktivinode Thakur says that if we can do our service our whole life and not be disturbed that no one ever notices us, that is self-realization.
In the Bible it says, When you do big fasts on religious days do not go our with a long sad face and let everyone know that you are fasting, doing austerities. When you do your fasts and austerities do them in private in your closet, and God who sees all things in private will reward you in private.
We can use our intelligence and see how much illegal sense gratification and fame we need at this point. We can be honest and tell Krsna, I'm still a fool, I need some of this, but also let me see how it is suffering not happiness.
Also, we may need some prestige for our service. Unless people know what we are doing how can they relate to us properly. So we can try to let people know what we have done, but not be violent about it and then let Krsna decide what he wants to do with our reputation.
O.K??
