Hare Krisna Gurudev,
Please accept my humble obeisances,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
I read Harsh Pradan's letter and some reflexions come to my mind. I like Prabhuji a lot, and also I feel very identified with his struggle.
One thing I don't understand is why being in Mumbai, where suposedly one of the best ISKCON congregations exist, I mean ISKCON Chowpatty, he can't take advantage of that. Once he told me he lives too far away. Can't he move closer?
HpS - I would say, and I trust my opinion about 65%, that it is 'suposedly' one of the best congregations in ISKCON. It is best for some people. I've heard Radhanatha Maharaja make that same comment.
Next, he lives on the university campus in student housing. To have to commute to school would be like three hours a day of work and finding an apartment would be costly and his wife is also a student and there is student care for their son. So, yes, same city does not mean much in way of big access. If we push each other, we can get strength to visit the local ISKCON temples more. That will help, but really it is making friends with devotees and doing service together, even if you only meet once a week, month, year.
"Did you follow the four principles last year?"
"Yes, and you?"
"Yes."
Counselling is a big shortfall in ISKCON.
HpS - Yes, but is it a the first priority??? Finding Pujaris is a big shortfall in ISKCON also in some places. Hmm. My attitude would be what is MY BIGGEST SHORTFALL. Then from that perspective how can I make friends with some other devotees who are struggling with similar shortfalls and work together.
Kali yuga, our backgrounds are so heavy. So much disorders, intellectually, psychologically, etc.
I realized one thing. Material life is too complex. Durga sends huge difficulties, very hard to assimilate from an emotional point of view. But is simple at the same time. Whatever she sends, we have two options. Whether going to the darkness, external energy, or going to the light, internal energy.
In the last years of my life, thanks to ISKCON shelter, I chose the second one.
I lost my father, my brother and sister when I was eleven. My wounded mother abandoned me and left me with my grandmother. I survived and finished medschool. Then I wanted a family, so I picked the closest girl next to me, to have children. At that very moment, when my exwife was pregnant from Manu I received the first KC book. It strucked me so hard. It was an inmense emotion. All the answers I was looking for. So then, the only thing that matters were preaching and making rapid spiritual advancement. I became fanatic, radical, insensitive.
Srila Prabhupada's teachings, my psychology and no guide was an explosive combination.
Nobody within ISKCON warned me. My aunt did, of course because she was in maya, I didn't pay attention. That attitude (plus other ones from my ex-wife) lead me to divorce. Again another loss. So much pain again. I wanted to go towards light, so I thought the best way was, seeking for initiation. I felt the pressure from ISKCON society. With little questions like, Aren't you initiated yet? What is your Spiritual name? When are you going to take initiation?
So I focused and followed the vows for the required time. Then I got it, Harinam diksa, I got my Spiritual name. Questions over!! But then I realized I couldn't keep my initiation vows. After one year of initiation I fell down. I couldn't be steady, I had ups and downs. I felt horrible, guilty. So I started psychotheraphy. That helped me a lot.
I read your guru tattva file like 20 times. It is so clear. I understand what Harsh says. Barely nobody in ISKCON will give you the same advice as is stated in the guru tattva file.
I can assure that very few of your initiated disciples follow the standard you set in that file. Unfortunately I am not one of them.
I profoundly believe that what you say is all true. And that this is the only standard that will take everybody to the Spiritual abode.
That is why I moved to a devotees comunity, to attend mangala aratik. That is why I will work less in 2018, to chant better rounds. That is why I got married to a good wife. To make a plan to follow the 4 principles strictly.
So this is my advice to Harsh and everybody.
Take those guru tattva file instructions to the core of your heart. Put yourself in a situation which is favourable to this instruction. Take shelter in what Srila Prabhupada says at the end of the purport to BG 3.31 "...But an ordinary man with firm faith in the eternal injunctions of the Lord, even though unable to execute such orders, becomes liberated from the bondage of the law of karma. In the beginning of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one may not fully discharge the injunctions of the Lord, but because one is not resentful of this principle and works sincerely without consideration of defeat and hopelessness, he will surely be promoted to the stage of pure Kṛṣṇa consciousness."
Have patience, it doesn't matter which is your name. Become a real soldier. Not a manikin.
Respect to myself, I see you Gurudev as my vartma pradaksika and siksa guru. I'm struggling to become your disciple. To be steady on the path.
At your lotus feet.
Nikunja bihari das ( Dr. Jekyll)
And
Bhakta Nicasio ( Mr. Hyde)
HpS - We require this Annual Report minimum for someone to call themselves our "Disciple". Of course, is usually also very, very good if we can write like this also. We have initiated a lot of people. Most of them don't report, but amongst those that do, about 85% are following 16-4. That is true of devotees inititated before 1977 also, no? 'Don't be surprised who goes, be suprised who stays, " Prabhupada Said.
"Nehabikramo naso sti..." No loss. Any progress is eternal. We are all different. Different pace. We have heavy Sannyasa Karma. It is mostly good although some bad aspects also for becoming a devotee. How did we get that? We were Harsh Pradhana, Nikunja, in our last life? Every breath of service is added to our account.
Up! Down! Up! Down... Bhakta Yo Yo!.... But if we try we get better. Set practical standards. Stop before noon for two weeks for Krsna!
Thank you so much. Let's go on to the next letter.
