Dear Guru-maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
First of all i wish to say that i feel neglectful because of not keeping up with writing, and then have to put in too much in one letter.
ASA - AGTSP... paoho.... Yes, yes... WHoop! Whoooop...
In previous letter you requested info on Dutch yatra, and we had a discussion on Japa Joe regarding Bg 6.7. Unfortunately my tendency is to not communicate properly. We had a good speaker in Amsterdam recently, Isha Prakash (GGS), who spoke about opening the heart, and as i learned, not communicating properly is a symptom of a closed heart. In stead of being introvert, better to be introspective.
ASA - Aaaah! Nice contrast.
Dutch Yatra. It seems to be improving. This year so far 6 new initiated ISKCON devotees, and one Gaudiya math. Also new initiation guidelines, more strict. There is one temple (Amsterdam), three preaching centers (2x The Hague, 1x Rotterdam) and about fifteen Nama-hatta's. Some devotees from Rotterdam regularly invite prabhu's, like Madhavananada, and this month Deena Bandhu was here. Financially there is still a lot lacking, the project for new temple in The Hague is lacking funds, and Amsterdam was struggling for RY.
ASA - Ha! Ha! Ha! Whole world is bankrupt, no? I guess we are actually doing O.K., no?
In the last week, still only half of the expenses were there. Still unsure whether or not Amsterdam temple will have to move, the owner of the building probably can't get his way legally.
I checked back on your class on e-sanga, and the talk on the supersoul with 6.7. At the time i was reflecting on the wonderful name you have given me, Raghava Pandit das, and verse 5.18 specifically. The name has many dimensions. One is, besides knowing the purport of the vedas, that a pandit has equal vision. This is a perfect thing to strive for! 6.7 is also nice in this regard, for i presume it is safe to say a real pandit has reached the supersoul. A nice connection between 6.7 and 5.18 i find that 6.7 works from outside in, and 5.18 works from inside out. Another thing i reflected on after i came back from Spain, after you accepted me as your disciple, i believe it was proper to ask you, what do you want me to do now? So, i ask you now.
HpS - ASA -- Of course, I want you to love Radha and Krsna under the direction of Srila Prabhupada... and help us all to do the same. Specific of course is the basic rules and regulations, mangala-arati etc. Beyond, that, getting involved in ASA would mean just to read these posts, the Kapi-dhvaja and then get involved, help, take charge! !
One thing i like your thoughts on. A recurring theme in my life is about regression/reincarnation therapy. There are a few traits in my psyche that block me, which seem to be substantial threats. I have ran into them for many years. I ask myself whether or not i should take therapy, or that i should just go deep into the holy name, and leave it to Krishna. Srila Prabhupada spoke on it, to not bother improving material circumstances. Now i can argue for both ways, wherein the holy name would be the most beneficial, but probably also more time consuming. A combination could be there. But after all, i wouldn't be able to wholeheartedly preach that the holy name (surrender) can solve everything. Maharaja, what would be the proper way to look at this?
ASA - Ask a few more devotees who maybe know you in action a little more than we do, but if it is deep and persistent then, yeah, look for a specialist. Taking regular prasadam is usually fine, but if someone is diabetic he may have to make some adjustment. Prabhupada approved that. Find a speciallist, psychologist, who is a devotee of the Supreme Lord.
Another thing i feel i have to share is that in my personal life i ran into a big challenge. Since i came back from Radhadesh i still haven't been able to find a lasting job. Three months ago i ran out of unemployment benefits, and normally i should apply for welfare, but because me wife got a greencard, i am not able to, because then the state will take her card away. I have tried to accept work on all sides, but it is still fruitless. Both my background and the mood of this country, together with the high unemployment rates, are detrimental. I work only parttime, and i make far from enough to pay for everything. Ofcourse, because of my limited vision i can't see why Krishna is holding things off, and surely He is helping me transcend many old ways of thinking. This is where it becomes real to keep on praising Him in adversaries, as Lord Brahma suggested. Other than that, it is a ridiculous situation.
HpS - I also don't know. Maybe he wants you and your family to come back to Him right away. Give up these NASTY material bodies. I don't know. Poverty cannot stay where there is constant endeavor, says Canakhya Pandita.
Despite difficulties, things are going okay (by mercy), trying to go deeper. From following DTC, i generally get a positive impression of your situation. Jay! I wish you feel the same way. May you be making progress with your writing and the preparations, and that your body cooperates nicely. Your staying in Tennessee during caturmasya, is that coincidental?
ASA - Uh, huh. [Yes]
I know you don't like long letters, i hope this was still acceptable. I wish to ask forgiveness for any offences and stupidities i have made.
Kind regards, your attempting servant,
Raghava Pandit das.
ASA - Super best wishes to go ahead on all fronts!!!!! Thank you so much Raghava-pandita Das.... Respects to your good wife also...
