Hare Krsna!
All glories to Sankirtana movement of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu
All glories to patita pavana Srila Prabhupada
All glories to their bona fide representative
I pray to Krsna never allow me to get so away from you that your merciful instructions get unable to touch my hard like stone heart.
I tried to feel myself the owner of my own life, after suffering a lot, i realized that the only chose i have is wether to accept Krsna's arrangements or to cry like a baby while i see my life moving along.
I'm so sorry for taking SO LONG without writting, i felt like a child who try to hide from his daddy when he makes mistakes, thinking that his dad is not mercyful and he cannot correct any mistake in life!
Aravinda Prabhu allowed me to move to Uruapan for this 3 months (starting in 15 january) so i could be helped by Murli Manohara Dasa, a disciple of HH Bhaktisundar Gosvami, he is psichologist; im taking almost 2 therapy sesions each week, and i will take a course named "Inner Transformation" he has very present Vedic perspective in his work and life, very advanced devotee and im getting really better, we are also entering to the yoga classes he gives, 2 days/week 2 classes each day, felling more and more the benefits of staying away from Passion mode of nature.
Dear Gurudeva, this months have been of GREAT test,most of them, i failed, now i see something good from the result of those failures:
-Finally i spoke Prabhu Aravinda about getting out of ther ashrama, it was not the best way, but i apologize properly and he said its fine that i expressed that at least, so i will get some devotees support and move forward in my projects to serve Krsna.
-I got removed from BBT's service, (regarding this, even though i know it was because of MY own lack of responsability, i felt used just for the last year's SB edition MARATHON, and then thrown away; im already working in this feeling), maybe in some years when i learn more responsability i can ask for some mercy again =D
-which leads to my desition of stopping philology studies, because i was doing that only for BBT's purpports, so i will wait next semester to enter Pedagogy in Queretaro city (im planning my living there).
-Not everything is bad news, thanks to your mercy and devotees blessings, in this SP Marathon, i was able to inspire the birth of a Bhakti-yoga meeting twice a month in Queretaro city, devotees from Mexico and Cueramaro are engaged to go once a month each, so our visits will reduce to once a month wich doesn't takes so much time away. Also i asked my dear brother Aniruddha Dasa to come to the program whenever he wants =o)
-This leads to the next project wich is, after some more months living in Cueramaro, arround september, starting an olistic centre of all kind of therapies as a preaching center with Krsna west bases, during this months i will be entering skype meetings with mother Alaksya DD (disciple of HH Hridayananda Dasa Gosvami, and the one who invited me to this project) and also her god-brothers and some devotees we are asking to join giving ayur-vedic therapies and so on, for the purpport of establishing mission and vision of this project, start doing the proper arrangements and deals so everybody knows our exact service in the project. is this point ok?
-Last point, even though Aravinda Prabhu already gave me flag to start moving forward and making my own arrangements for life, im little bit affraid to speak with him about my real situation, im formalizing a relationship with a devotee, she is almost same time in the movement as me, and, excuse me to say it, but im very eager to have her as my wife to advance in KC and raising a preaching center in Queretaro along with the devotees, so their guru's and you can go and preach a lot of peopple, actually this is very important to me to speak with you, because no-one else knows this, im very confident into you dear Gurudeva, she hasn´t tell her guru due to "not cause me problems with my authorities", still, we have been having a bit of problems because of holding that as a secret, which reduces communication,(reason enough to stop hidding and tell my authorities about my willings), added to the fact we live in very distant cities with no option of seeing each other by all this time, (maybe she can go to México city for your transcendental visit!). what do you think?
Please gide me and tell me your opinnion in the diferent subjects, and tell me if you should like/hold on more details of any of them so you can instruct me propperly.
One last question... and this one i hope you can tell me whether you would like it or not, i was thinking about taking one month to go to murpheshboro for staying near from you, learning how to serve you best, i wanted to do this before i start the Queretaro project because im confident that will give me streght enough to try to serve you and Srila Prabhupada through this kind of preaching.
Yasya prasadad Bhagavat prasada
Yasaprasadan na gatih ku to 'pi
by your mercy i can achieve Sreya, the maximum benefit!
But without your mercy i can not advance even one inch to the goal of my life.
Your very very very very exempt of good qualities servant
Krsna-kirtan Dasa
HpS - - Jaya. AGTSP. Paoho. This letter is quite old now, no? What is the situation now? I think I answered other letters that you wrote after this. It's nice to look at old letters like this and think, "Wow, things have changed so much".
In general its best to find a peaceful situation and continue with 1st initiation vows for at least one year before trying to enter Grhastha ashrama. Otherwise we are most likely to judge it on the basis of personal gratification rather than what is really good for gratifying Krsna. Then associating with the opposite sex really means the connection of two families not just two people. He and she should get to know the family and friends of each other and look it as them joining to families.
That's just a little advice.
Hope to see the current news from you. We are get better at answering our mail now that we are one place.
You are mad, I am mad, she is mad, Aravinda is mad... Prabhupada, Prabhupada, Prabhupada!!!!!
