Hare Krishna Gurudev!
Please accept my humblest obeisances. All Glories to Srila Prabhupad!
It has been a while since I’ve written to you. I apologize for being so distracted with mundane life which consists mostly of work/further study and temples only on Sunday.
HpS - ASA --- Haw! Haw! Haw! AgtSP. Paoho. It has been months for us to answer this letter. We are also are occupied, but these things are not mundane. The battle of Kuruksetra was not mundane, no?
My morning program routine has fizzled out but I’m trying to bring it up back again.
ASA (Tom Brown/Buck White) - Do it or suffer the consequences! Actually everything will improve if you have a good morning program. You will get much more monkey (money!).
Reading also stopped for a period but I’m trying to bring it back in,
HpS - Sanga!!! Get partners!
. . . even if a chapter before bed.
ASA - Or the Lila-amrta during breakfast...
Rounds have been terrible both quality and quantity wise. I’ve been in denial about this but I don’t remember the last time I struggled this much. Yesterday I figured because it was Krishnas bday-they’d magically get better- but not so much, even with fasting and constant chanting/kirtan – I feel distant. But there is still much mercy! I was lucky to get darshan from 3 diff temples on Janmastmi (pics below!)
Please send some mercy gurudev to help me out of this miserable slump. This past weekend I traveled to Houston for KirtanFest – I was in the temple room one quiet afternoon in front of SS Radha NilaMadhav chanting japa and suddenly my eyes watered up. It felt very cathartic and I felt very hopeful that I’m not a gone-case.
In regards to other ‘phases’ of life- the idea of finding someone is still floating.
I was talking to this one Indian guy who also is God-conscious (he is Sikh). I’ve talked about Krishna, Bhagavad Gita, and the reasons behind the 4 principles- and he understands/accepts it. But deep-down, I don’t think it will go anywhere because I’m realizing that this is a lifestyle which doesn’t offer much room for compromise. He isn’t Vegetarian (but is attempting to be) … so I figured even if this doesn’t work out- maybe he’ll have made some positive change in his life at the end of this. Is this an appropriate thought? I’ve prayed to Krishna but He might have other plans – or I need to develop patience. Or like you said much earlier on- ask Radharani to share haha.
That’s mostly what has been happening. Please guide me gurudev on what mindset I should cultivate and not be so distracted with mundane work life and also to transcend these human/ sense gratification thoughts. How can I get my mood of chanting back? How can I reinvigorate my relationship with Krishna again and make it not feel so distant?
Please keep me engaged and sheltered gurudev. Sorry for slipping- I know I’ve been letting myself down the most. I’m always learning how strong maya really is and how hard it is to control these fleeting thoughts.
Thank you for your mercy.
Your fallen [still attempting to be] servant,
Sugopi dd
HpS - Well, what's the report now? Almost for certain you have made progress. I have the same challenges. We go forward, one way or another. Being kicked in the posterior by Maya or running toward the big, ripe, orange carrot in the sky, Goloka (cows love carrots).
What is the news?
Always do the best you can do. Or course getting up early and getting our rounds done is a super focus.
Waiting for your news.
