Pleased or displeased?
Hare Krsna!!
Dear Gurudeva,
Please accept my humble obeisances,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
It’s been 45 days I don’t write to you , and I apologize for that, past 30 days have been intense for me.
HpS - ASA -- AGTSP Intense for us also, Ha! Ha! Ha! (Probably intense for many of us! All the more reason to join he Blog!)
My wife has left me, she moved out with manu and benja. It was in friendly terms but separation at last. its funny but 45 days ago you answered me when I told you I wasnt having support from my wife,
HpS -Yes, can be dificult, but other perspective is that Krsna has a reason wy he has put you in this situation. You also did not take birth in a family of Paramahansas, and that is not going to change. O.K. This is what Krsna has arranged, it is the best situation for me.
So I understand this is what krsna has arranged for me, but what is hurting me is not knowing whether krsna is pleased with me because all my efforts for spreading sankirtan movement, or displeased for neglecting my family duties in the process. Im feeling kind like sages in naimisaranya, trying to make a fire sacrifice for the well being of human kind but being blacked by smoke due to doubts and imperfections. So like them I can only be saved by a pure devotee of the lord.
Please gurudeva help me to understand this situation.
I was trying to get advice from many sources, but didn’t get practical help, I sent letters to senior grihastha devotees but never got answer, and the grihastha devotee you advice me to ask for help in this matter he himself is know having also serious problems.
Im taking shelter in sadhu sanga and making determined efforts to improve my sadhana. Im following 4 principles strictly since this happened 30 days ago and chanting 16 rounds but only 50% of my days I can finish them before 10 am, other 50% is before going to bed. I have also reduced my working hours and im receiving psychologic assistance from premarnava prabhu who is a tanspersonal psychologist.
Thank you gurudeva for being so kind and loving toward me such a fanatic fool.
Next letter preaching report, some good news.
Hope you can find proper rest to overcome your health problems, mother cow will also help to improve immune system.
Aspiring to become your servant.
Bhakta Nicasio.
HpS - ASA --- Hmmmmf! People are crazy iin Kali-yuga. In someplaces ther are civil wars going on. Very common. A girl's husband leaves with the cattle and goes South where it is more safe. She is left in a refugee camp with 1,200 other people and irregular food from international relief agencies. When she and the ladies goe out for water to the well they risk being raped. She has been raped 3 times.
It's like this. You are a decent person. I would suggest at this point to go on with your dearmost friend, Krsna. Your sadhana sounds good. Take advantage of the assoication you have. Remain open for reconciliation with here. Express that attitude to her friends and family. Be honest, but basic principles of religion, if we don't follow them, the mercy we give others is contaminated with our desire to be The Dearmost Friend, poison.
O.K? Write and put URGENT, Nicasio the Temporary Bachelor in the subject field. Or use an alias if you like, but honestly this is happening to many people, and the best solution is nice Sadhana and tryin to see reality distinguished from illusion for the welfare of all!