Hare Krsna, Beloved Gurudeva
AGTSP
PAMHO
I hope this meets U in really good health ¡¡
First of all thank U all so much for being so merciful and give us iur DAILY association in Japa Joe, blog, twitter, Bhakti Vaibhava, etc
I was thinking about to write to U a few times about this topic. I was wondering if on private may be better but I do not have anything to hide.
In one of your last answer to my NIMSAR’s report U told me if I want to become a Sanyasini jaja well the answer is NOT YET NOT NOW jajaja. So at this point I want to be completely honest with U. I want to form a Krsna consciousness family and try to be useful to SP and to iur Sankirtan. I am an stupid unintelligent romantic lady
My behavior has been questioning sometimes. Last year for instance devotees started to say things about the way I dress , etc. So I want to be honest: I work , I like fashion I AM in MAYA jaja BIG NEWS ammm Nevertheless I always keep on mind that I am a devotee and at work for example I just interact with my students I do not have any friend that is not devotee I know that it is not also good that it is better if I preach but I can not be a person who I am not, I like devotees Krsna katha, I like all that being a Hare Krsna means but at the same time I like to dress well and also go out with friends I am not dating anybody , but I go out with devotees who are my friends male and females we just go out and take prasadam, go to the movies, walk or talk a little bit about Krsna and many topics. In that way I released all my lust and relaxed. I NEVER go to the disco or something like that … Concerts yes sometimes…
At the same time we do our service, we had our sadhana, lecture, and principles fixed.
And devotees sometimes do not understand and maybe U neither why I am not a complete nun jaja I can not I am not like that I like to serve Krsna and being with devotees and at the temple but also I like to look good with nice haircuts, dress etc. Many many times Gurudeva I had encountered with many devotees who said something and do the complete opposite or are not completely honest but now today I am not selling U a fake candramukhi I am presenting before U with all my faults as I always do but now in more depth because at some point I was feeling that I was not completely honest with U. And I really really hate that.
It really bothers me that lately many devotees says things like look with whom cmdd talks or what she does, dress etc . For me is more important to work together and try to be good tools for SP. Anyway I just want to be natural without hypocrisy and I absolutely refuse to be one cmdd at the temple and another outside the temple. I follow the etiquette at the temple..
Last year I learned a lot not to trust everybody, to be more cautious in the way I relate to others specially the opposite sex, but I also learned that being honest is the BEST POLICY. I feel really happy with my saris but at the same time also good with one michelle belau outfit haw haw haw. Maybe I am crazy I am sure that I am but I really feel that I should have written this to U earlier.
I always try to do my best in order to be a better disciple of Yours really. I really try.. I try to be honest first with myself then with U.
So please forgive if I am an embarrassment for U. But this is who am I, and I hope some day I can see U at the eyes and said yes Gurudeva now I want to be sanyassini.
Question : What should be my actitude If someone said: Why she /he is acting like that or not doing something what shall I say to people that are very interested in searching faults in others??? Gossips , etc instead of trying to be better themselves??? And I have to confess that in the past I was one of those people….
With complete honesty
Always trying to be iur disciple
Candramukhi dd
HpS - ASA -- AGTSP. Paoho. We read the history of Hannibal, Alexander the Great, BBC History of the English Language (at the worst Rambo and the Temple of Doom), and we try to chant Hare Krsna all the time we do anything to see how our passions can be connected to Krsna. Prabhupada discussed India politics with world historians.
... and . . . we follow very four principles strictly, we're up by 1.15AM daily, 26 rounds/day, SB 2-hours/day, administrative work in the Sankirtana movement, individual counselling, Sankirtan in the academic and cultural areas.
Prabhupada would eat robust Bengali subjis. What is our level? Adau sraddha, sadhu sanga...? By acting on that level we advance.
We PUSH to be more strictly engaged.
Did Devahuti and Kardama Muni need an ariel palace?
We are in Madhayma adhikari stage. Kardama and Devahuti had to experiment with material enjoyment. What you describe is very much within what seems like sane situation.
We looked up: michelle belau
Hmmmmm! Candra-Vogue!
Why don't you invite Michelle Belau to go to India with you for a foto-shoot, maybe she could pose with Ulysses well groomed??? <img alt="smiley" height="24" src="http://hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="24" />
We want to eliminate some things by being austere and "blindly" following the Acharya's instructions, we want to eliminate others by testing them and then realizing their lower taste. We want to keep some after testing them because we realize they can be useful for pure devotional service.
ADELANTE!
