URGENT: Marriage Serious Situation
Please Maharaja, change the name of the real people here and delete the too much personal things, or if you prefer don’t post this letter at all and just reply to my email: XXX@ ABC.COM
Please accept my humble obeisances,
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada,
All glories to you,
Im ABC Devi Dasi, the XYZ Dasa's wife, regrettably is not nice write you this mail. I ask you forgive me for touch topics of this kind but I don’t have anyone more to resort to, I see myself with the hands tied, and my faith for Krishna tremble due this situation, really surpasses me.
XYZ is going through a very bad time. I asked to a lady devotee who make astral chart and she says me that he is selfish now and in a very bad astrological period, with desires of sense gratification so much, everything too much rajasic… he appears in my astrological chart like Rahu, and in the last time he have told me that he doesn’t love me, that he want the divorce, even communicated for receive your approbation, something that don´t happened.
The worst of everything is that he has commented to the children about this separation, and them have fallen in a great sadness, but he not seeing it like that. Yesterday, I discovered with an enormous pain in my heart, that he has been writing with DEF Devi Dasi your disciple. Talking about to be together and all this things… She was considered for me like one of my best friends… I have suffered enormously… ABC have given turn everything, blaming me like responsible.
Now he’s hypocrite, hurtful, offensive, violent with his words, is another person, different from whom I married. I joined him at young age, I left the house of my parents, I don’t know anyone more like my half, and he is strongly discarding me.
Painfully, he doesn’t want that anyone know all of this because his ego. Even, he has told me that Krsna understand him and that is motiving him to separate, and that is difficult for me to accept it because for me and our children is enormous pain.
He says me that he performs Sankirtan and that he’s ecstatic and that I am the big problems if his life.
Maharaja, really, I don´t know what can I do… he is not in his right mind… Acts in a strange way. He has threatened that if I tell something about this, he will leave everything apart, company, family, etc. and he will go to maya. I have could tell about this situation only to UVW, due that I have felt harried and alone, and I don’t want that anyone know yet, and not offend him and he feel bad.
Excuse me, please, for this mail, but I’m alone, and I don’t want to ruin my spiritual life, that is the only real is being left me. I pray for your mercy, to bless me and know accept the things… For me the marriage is something sacred and used to saw it for so many years more. Now I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t want degrade myself.
Please accept my humble obeisances, again and again, forgive me and please, help me, your eternal servant XYZ DD.
HpS - ASA --- First thing is just to pray to God. Some one may be nice Muslem girl and know Him very practically as Allah. You have a practical relationship with Srila Prabhupada? If you met him you could talk with him? Do you find practical relationship with reading and discussing his books some times? How is your relation with your ISKCON Diksa Guru? Are you following the instructions of Srila Prabhupada (and his disciples) to engage in serivce to God?
Maybe ABC has been possessed by the Devil. He and I talked for a long time about these things, but that was several months ago. There may be deep psychological connection between people, Karmic connection, we were married in previous life. These are very strong things. They are more powerful than we can control unless we are on the spiritual platform. They attack the current marriage with someone else.
We must be aware of our best friend, the rascal Krsna! He will always be our best friend. That is the nature of the Spiritual World. It is different than the Material World. Krsna is everybodies best friend. He doesn't feel that He is worthy of such affection. Everybody is trying to get everybody else closer to Krsna than themselves. The Mothers want that their sons advance their relationship with Krsna more than they want to advance their own relationship. They feel their own relationship becoming closer in the fastest way when they advance the relationship of others.
I can't tell you that you won't die.
I can't tell you that there won't be a nuclear war or global plague.
I can't tell you that your husband won't go crazy and run off with another woman and go to Monte Carlo and become a big gambler and be killed by local criminals.
All these things are possible in this world. The Pandavas tried to avoid war with Duryodhana for years and years and years, but in the end it was Krsna's arrangement.
This is all because Krsna wants us back and now, unfortunately, you have made some advances to a very jealous lover, Krsna, and the fact is that He makes a lot of personal arrangements for His own happiness.
Love your husband as a person, as representative of God. Talk about these things with several good friends, intelligent enemies, family, in detail, or in general, like here in this Blog. Draupadi had to go through so much, but she always chanted her sixteen rounds a day and was sure that in the end she would understand why Krsna was putting her through so much pain. In the end she understood and was happy to have been so honored to take maybe the most important part in the whole Sankirtan of Krsnq, the Maha-bharata.
So, maybe send some more questions as they come. We feel that we are not giving such perfect advice, but we hope it helps.
Do not think that what you are going through is unique. We all need to talk about these things. If a husband or wife has gone mad. O.K. Thay have gone mad. That does not mean that they are not our husband or wife.
I feel very respectful to my wife in my former Ashrama. In the end everything that happened was according to Dharma Sastras as described by Srila Prabhupada.
Action Item: Are you chanting 16-nice rounds with best effort, good effort, daily? Four principles? If not, can you start now? If not do you want to start and need advice about how to do it?
