Hare Krsna Gurumaharaj,
Please accept my respectful obeisances to you
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Approaching to you again, Sir, not knowing the right manner to do it, though; but. what else a disciple can do despite of his qualification or disqualification?
I must admit that I identify myself as your disciple without being a Disciple. I do not know how to be a real disciple; the one who does not exist, act, think independently without guru’s authorisation and instruction. A real disciple knows the guru’s desire and act accordingly, he does not need to be directly instructed, since he knows his guru’s heart and is synchronised with it.
HpS - Hare Krsna. You set a very high standard for all of us. Thank you.
I want to be one of your real disciple, Sir. Uhmmm!!! There is a long way to go ahead for that. Please, Gurumaharaj, pull me up, and place me in the right track and speed, since I already wasted a lot of time.
HpS - I say the same thing to Srila Prabhupada and I suspect with much, much more sincerity Srila Prabhupada says the same thing to Srila B. S. Sarasvati Maharaja.
Theoretical understanding of Krsna Consciousness process is not any more satisfying. It is like a fish swimming in shallow waters looking for food, after sometime (years), it becomes dangerous. Many predators can catch him easy. But, real food and nourishment are found in deep waters, and it is safer over there too. Thus, it is a survival mechanism, an imperative need to go deeper.
In my case, going deeper seems to be going back to the bases [basics]; re-start the process. (?). Focus reading of Srila Prabhupada’s books, (Bhagavad-gita again?); menial services to help me to realise the ideal dasa dasa anudasa mood; and just trying to hear myself chanting Hare Krsna mantra while I am chanting my rounds. (an insightful advice of a devotee quoting Srila Prabhupada in a SB class). Is this prospective program right for me, Sir?
HpS - Sounds fine with me. Even the Gopis, when they think of Krsna, they start with His lotus feet. Sadhu sanga... Looking for reading partners, Sankirtan partners. Happy life is coming very soon. We already have a name, service and family in Goloka, no? They are waiting for our service in all the construction that is needed. Goloka is a Disneyland that is 2% finished!!!
In a SB class, Prahladananda Swami, quoted a verse of BG, we must try to be attracted to Krsna. By trying it, we can attract Krsna. How to try to be attracted to Krsna? By hearing and talking about Him, sincerely. I listened to similar phrases many times before. But this time it struck me. It was like new and old message at the same time, revealed message. Why I could not hear that before? Why this time I heard it and remember it more than before?
HpS - You know why? (Smile) You were not ready to hear it in that way. 'nehabikramo naso sti...'. May take long time to make even a little progress, but that progress is eternal......
Similarly, it happens with’ just trying to hear yourself chanting Hare Krsna mantra while chanting your rounds. ‘message. In such way that now by remembering it while chanting my rounds it helps me focus more in my chanting – hearing myself. Because I know myself, and my japa’s past history, I am afraid of this special momentum won’t last long. For that I humbly request you Sir, help me!! I do not want to waste my precious time anymore. My determination and motivation are very weak. Please help me.
HpS - We are maybe even a little more stupid than you are. Maybe even a lot more stupid, but we try to do what we can. That is really what we understand as the process. When the sun shines, RUN! When it is dark, [[crawl]]...
We keep try to keep good Sadhana and then share it by Startmeeting, Twitter, Travel and especialy this Blog. We would like to know how we can improve our Sankirtan. Job as an ISKCON, Srila Prabhupada, 'Guru'.
Appealing to your kind, compassionate and forgiving nature, I dare to approach to you again, with all my misdeed and disqualification. This another attempt to be back in track, following you as it should be, realising that I cannot make it alone (my personal endeavour is not enough) your mercy and devotees’ blessings are indispensable for me. (like a dog with its tail between its legs walking behind the master)
Thank you,Sir, father, Master, Gurumaharaj.
Looking forward to keep connected with you and your disciples.
Sincerely,
Your puppet disciple
(Madhumanjari dd)
HpS - Your letter is really embarassing in some ways, because we feel that you are such a sincere person. The challenges in the modern world are enormous! Yes, as far as we know you have big challenges to overcome, but you have been doing a lot to accomplish that. You are an example for everyone. Stop and appreciate what you have done right and develop that. That is the most important.
I still think it is important if you write to us about a Girl, Devotee, who went to Australia many years ago and what is happening with her. Of course, this would be semi-auto-biographical but also fantasy. The list of useful female authors is unlimited.
"Born in Torquay in 1890, Agatha Christie became, and remains, the best-selling novelist of all time.
She is best known for her 66 detective novels and 14 short story collections, as well as the world’s longest-running play – The Mousetrap. Her books have sold over a billion copies in the English language and a billion in translation."
