ASA [e] VAD, grhastha, 16-rounds.
Dear Gurudeva, please accept my humble and respectful obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I've written many letters to you in my notebooks, but they always seem incomplete, irrelevant, or even inappropriate. I know I need you to progress in my spiritual life, and that's why I'm returning to the blog. Please excuse the delay.
HpS - AgtSP!!!
[ASA - Following content edited for public display. TB/BW]
My operation was successful. I felt Krishna's mercy like the company of an unconditional friend, who gives you his hand even if you do nothing for him, without negotiations, in the silence of pure friendship.
On another note, I want to tell you that I'm on vacation at my mother's house, near Cuernavaca, Morelos, where you stayed a few years ago.
Several months ago, I was thinking about staying with my daughters at my mother's house for a trial year of separation from my esteemed husband.
This year in Monterrey, we had some very tough tests, and we didn't pass several. The vast difference in my husband's upbringing and way of thinking and mine has caused constant friction all these years together.
On the other hand, it has also been a mercy from Krishna because it has helped us both polish great anarthas.
Today I feel that this friction is hurting me more than I can tolerate, although I also understand that austerity is necessary. You have said that the heart can harden if it is not done intelligently.
Although my husband doesn't demand that I wait for him until late at night with a hot meal, I can't help but feel obligated to receive him. If nighttime doesn't come, he still goes to sleep very late, this makes noise or turning on lights that a mother's hearing and sensitivity can't miss.
At one point, I started sleeping less so I could make my rounds early, but my temper was worse than usual because I really can't take naps during the day.
I also tried asking my husband to accommodate his work and leisure times, but it didn't work. So I finally gave in and went to bed late and woke up late, just like him. It didn't work. The rounds aren't sung well in the afternoon; it's very distracting.
I emphasize my rounds because my principles are sound, but I can't settle for that. My vows are to chant 16 good rounds every day and thus stay connected to the paramparam. The other frictions with Prabhuji are more mundane, I wonder about cesarean births, other medical treatments that really make us feel like animals rather than ladies and gentlemen.
In Vedic culture, was more than one wife accepted? What are the arrangements?
HpS - Polygamy was normal, but the social ambience was much more mature. As I see, Srila Prabhupada suggested that it might be a practical solution for everyone involved if they were mature enough to do it, as opposed to the modern system of divorce and remarriage three or four times! For some men who asked about it he chastised them and called them lusty dogs.
Should I go to Cuautla Morelos, where there's a lot of crime, and live with the basics but with better sadhana? (I'm chanting my 16 rounds before 6:00 am) Should I raise both arms once and for all?
Please forgive me for bringing up grihastas. I've resisted telling you for a long time. I've taken advice from several counselors, and yours is the most important. Forgive me.
HpS - Thank you! First, I think that this is normal symptom of Kali yuga. The family life is bad. The international and local politics are bad. Wars everywhere. Useless government... but scriptures say that there is one very good thing. Just chanting Hare Krsna will give you liberation and take you to Goloka.
If we don't save ourselves, we cannot save anyone else.
By trying to save others it is great, GREAT, G R E A T, contribution to saving ourselves.
Have to chant, pray, get combination of social welfare work and personal private work.
It is just no doubt that sixteen good rounds are the first priority.
GOOD!
Not with evil intent.
Of course, even with evil intent, chanting Hare Krsna will give good results.
It is like living off of beer and potato chips.
You will get nutrition, but you will also have terrible health.
Chanakya Pandita says that victory comes from good advice, and good advice comes from many counselors.
seems to us you are doing a super, super, super job of living your life as a service to everyone who is fortunate enough to have your association.
go ahead. your success is guaranteed.
i cannot give you much detailed advice because i do not, and really cannot know the details of your situation.
i work on detailed solutions for the development of a department of media development here in the houston temple.
we hope to hear how you come up with funny solutions to your problems.
graduate as a victor and help so many others, with the help for KRSNA who plays and laughs as He dances on the heads of Kaliya!!
