Hare Krishna Maharaja, please kindly accept my most humble obeisances; all glories to Srila Prabhupada; all glories to Lord Chaitanya's sankirtan movement; all glories to your devotional service!
I heard that you will have been tested for Covid 19. My first thoughts were "please Krishna, kindly protect him." But then I thought "how silly. Krishna always protects His devotees." We all know the body will die; this is Krishna's first instructions to Arjuna, and Srila Prabhupada's first message to all of us.
I recently learned of a godbrother who passed away: Sriman Anadi Krishna dasa prabhu. Not having a Facebook account, I don't know anything about the details, and when I last looked on a couple of other devotee websites, I didn't notice any write-up about him. I felt some shock to learn of his passing, as we joined together in Denver, we were initiated together, along with two other godbrothers. I felt sadness when I saw a picture of Anadi Krishna lying dead at his moment of passing. I thought of my own inevitable passing to come, as I often do these days.
I dread the mistakes that I have made over the years as a devotee, knowing that I will have to account for them; I sometimes cry during my sadhana because of those mistakes, not knowing my fate. I somehow always felt that I would be lucky to die young, but here I am still alive, still getting older, and still making the same mistakes: still not learning any better.
I often wonder how my own demise will happen: my wife and I both think of "who will go first;" not all the time, but often.
Well, needless to say, "I didn't get the job as TP." And although it didn't come as a surprise, still, it made me unhappy, because I felt (and still do feel) that I could be of valuable service to this community if I did. And my false ego won't allow me to settle for a lesser position.
We have a nice new Bhaktin renting with us, as well a nice young lady with great potential for devotional service, having been a vegan since she was 6 years old, she said.
I gave her a Bhagavad-gita along with some other small books, and she even attended one of my online classes, although I don't feel very qualified to speak. I do have 2 online classes that I have been holding on ZOOM.
One is merely a power-point presentation on the 5 subject matters of Bhagavad gita, with one night a week dedicated to each topic. The other class is more structured, following the curriculum of VIHA North America.
HpS - AgtSP! What is "VIHA"?
I have 5 students, and maybe these 2 new tenants may also join, although I can't say just yet. My sadhana has been mostly steady, sometimes rising by 4 AM, but sometimes I oversleep until after 5 or 5:30 even.
My wife and I feel very fortunate that Krishna has finally allowed us to rent out our rooms to devotees and potential devotees: it has generated a nice mood of rejuvenated enthusiasm in our home.
I beg you, with all the humility that I am able to command, please bless us, that we may not forget Krishna at any moment. It is not always so easy to remember Krishna when Maya says "look at me, look at me!" and I pretentiously look away, and like what I see. And even though we are getting older, and we can see inevitable death approaching closer and closer, my mind is still attracted to sense enjoyment, because I am still attached to the body. What will be my fate when death comes? Hare Krishna.
Your lowly servant,
Sriman Balabhadra dasa
HpS - Jaya! So nice to hear from you! So nice. You are doing just fine. Try to make little progress here and there. Eventually you will find a chink in Maya's prison walls and be able to make big progress.
Please send more news like this!
We publish the Kapi Dhvaja especially for our friends and leaders like you. You have always been and example for us. Thank you.
Hope your tenants become teachers!
