Dear Maharaj PAMHO AGTSP,
We spoke to the husband of the women my husband is romantically involved with, he didn’t seem very concerned about the issue. He said, "My wife has many guy friends and she mentioned about your husband to me too".
He asked me if I wanted to speak to his wife or if the 4 of us should get on a conference call.
He did say he wanted to wait to first speak with his wife before he reacted. He didn’t seem very bothered. He’s our only hope for controlling this woman. He told us his wife is with him, so the Singapore danger averted.
The biggest problem is that my husband keeps his heart shut to me and is wasting time finding his fulfillment in other women, damaging us more, and blaming me that I’m not fixing relationship.
I have tried so much praying for him as well as writing sweet messages to him, I just get “hmm, I have to go work now” and a virtual kiss maybe.
I’m in a deplorable condition, feeling so neglected and abused, always crying and lonely, while he spills his time enjoying other’s wives who are also living with their husband.
Sometimes the pain is so unbearable! I just want to leave this dimension of consciousness/existence and return when all this is over, as I’m not able to bare betrayal anymore… I am chanting in morning and praying as much as possible 🙏❤️.
I sometimes feel great disgust towards my husband, how will I even overcome from these things even if he manages to return.
Your aspiring servant,
Yajnaseni
HpS - ASA -- AgtSP!!! Thank you for your letter. It is a very big issue. In SB there is the story of Dhruva's family: His father, Uttanapada... his mother, Suniti... and his step mother Suruci. Suniti expresses her sentiment to Dhruva (you know this, no?) when he comes to explain the problem he had of being pushed off his father's lap.
"I am like a household servant".
As you describe the situation best thing is to distance yourself from the situation.
Just chant Hare Krsna with sufficient intensity to take your mind away from the problems and see what alternatives your intelligence offers.
I have tried this in situations where I was personally crying because of emotional abuse in ISKCON also.
Krsna gave me intelligence of how to react, plan, what positive action to take, and He did things from His side too: Had a senior devotee threaten to shove the mean devotee out a second story window.
Of course, the new plan of action was scarey, but I felt assured within and from consultation with devotees without, and it has a great step forward in my Ashrama.
Maybe go live with parents, brother, sister and brother in law. Start to work in a new Yatra?
Of course, that is a response to the situation as you describe it.
Having talked with people directly involved, Other-Woman's-Husband, may be better advice than we can give.
Srila Prabhupada is my personal friend as soon as I chant. He is yours too if you just look to him.
Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna.
