Letters to the editor

December 13, 2014

Dear Maharaja Hanumat Presaka Swami,

Please accept my humble obeisances, All Glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Time again for reflection and evaluation as another year is gone and by your mercy another Sadhana report is requested. This event always surprises me for I really don’t surmise a 365 day culmination in my practice; it is more of a day by day survival application for me. Regardless the actual composition is refreshing and retrospective for what have I accomplished since last report? Is there progress, new revelations, advancement, regression or just mediocre existence? These are moments to ponder further and in my case probably indulge too.

Reviewing last year’s Sadhana-updates I’m slightly overwhelmed, it appears I actually was somewhat astute and poetic in my efforts, at the moment I’m sludging to even be sincere. This might be more of a contrite summarization.

Going in reverse, let’s see if there were some new lessons to revive this fallen fool. At the juncture of 2013 to 2014 times were at their usual momentum, japa, grhastra practice, coasting maintenance and minimal sense gratification. Then proceeding into the 1st quarter of the year you kindly intervened with an offer of service for the Hare Krsna Dham in Houston. This propelled a needed perspective to our thick-skinned comfort zone, always nice to get a reality check… with interest.

Packing last winter and moving in spring revealed just how much accumulation takes over. Sorting boxes of nonsense, semi-nonsense and needed nonsense took a toll on the “desire-consciousness” bringing clarity of attachments little closer. What do we really need? Concluding it is what may be used in devotional service; leave the rest behind…though am still sorting through the last of the remnants.

Journeying East to the Dham during Kartik we visited various Temples and found good association, big and small. Was actually a more Soulful visit as I was alone except for Vaisnava association during the days. Met Prabhupada disciples, 3rd generation devotee’s, beggars and Bulls. All had a lesson for me; “Serve nicely and if you’re not, get out of the way”, to summarize. Concluding with this realization I am now comfortable in both situations, active or inactive... except with japa.

Nothing gets to me such as japa. Have gotten over being angry with japa, still frustrated at times when rounds go slow though am accepting that my mind has a difficult time with such concentrated internal focus when all it wants is external engagement. Full conscious effort of 16 rounds has not been fully absorbed because of immaturity, but after 20 years you’d think I’d have it dialed in.  Will keep on it knowing one day there will be a breakthrough for this stubborn brain.

I’ve been keeping in Seva as it is offered, though now some discretion is being exercised, getting where not all service has to be done by “moi’, if it is mine it will track me down and stare me in the face. Believe that our dear Lord will not let us go so easily if it is our dharma, which I’m very grateful… it is getting to convenient to be lazy in an older body.  This “Seva-holic” is slowin’ down some (until the next job).

On the regular programs am happy to report Mangals is still number one with 90% at the Temple, otherwise a mini-bhajan wherever I may be. Guru-Astaka is a favorite, though sometimes I bow out after this song if japa is behind. Have been writing the sloka’s on our class board appreciating the sastric exposure and if I can’t make it physically, take advantage of the net. Plus still handing out the BBT books when possible and even with these activities I still try to listen to Srila Prabupada’s lectures when possible for there is nothing better than the Master.

Ok, enough about me… even though this correspondence is about “me”, it really isn’t. It’s about relationships, the relationship between our fragile existence, the Supreme, the devotee’s and of course your good self, all culminating in “Sadhana” in my humble opinion.  Am secure in that I will always seek good association, but very insecure that I won’t fully surrender when it is necessary. Something else I need to meditate on, while I indulge with the self –imposed illusion of perfecting Bhakti-yoga. Fortunately, the Lord is so kind as to easily smash my indolence… even at my ego’s expense, great for a laugh though am not sure who’s laughing the most.

Enough of such shallow revelations just would like to conclude that the real depth of strong sadhana is time-tested and the best that one can do is keep the 4 principles and 16 + rounds going… bearing in mind that this process may be improved too.

Motto being: “Maintain and you will gain”.

Thank you for your valuable time Maharaja and all glories to your service!

Your humble servant in training,

ccd    

(caitanya caritamrta das anu das.)

HpS - Thank you. Even if God was a big rock, I think He would be impressed by your determination.

Hare Krsna Guru Maharaj,

Please accept our most humble obeisances.  All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Maharaj, we feel very fortunate that you asked for more news.  More news from a devotee stunt lady who is now totally sick with a unending 2 week bronchital cough... possibly due to trying to perform too many 'show bottle' devotee type of stunts??

I really like Srila Prabhupada's show bottle analogy: we seem to have a recurring dialogue with our ego who needs to feel like a praised humanitarian and our spiritual intelligence that says we should work on gaining more sincerity and humility.  Please advice Guru Maharaj.

HpS - ASA - AgtSP!     paoho..... A "Praised humanitarian"?   Hmmm....  what about the cats and dogs?  We don't know details, but sounds like the Witch is torturing with the same magic she caught Adam (of Eve) and Bharata Maharaja. BG . 5.29. Not the Supreme Owner. Not the Supreme Enjoyer, but . . . Kama-gayatri Devi Dasi, the Supreme Friend!

If that is the disease, then the cure is to think that you are not the Supreme Friend. You have to get out of His way and let humans and animals and ... bask in His sun-shine. You have to direct to Him and act as a proper post-man!

We hope your health is doing well for travels.  Will we be celebrating your Vyasa Puja in Boise?  We were trying to look for a date.

HpS - ASA - We will be in Nashville. It will be 23rd December. On line 6.30 - 8.30PM. Look for details in the forthcoming Kapi Dhvaja ja ja!

Excerpts from last letter.  Thankyou for the reply!

I pray for it, but I am still so distracted.

   HpS - The Gopis didn't know how to read and write, Nanda Maharaja didn't know how. He would  hire some educated fool to do it for him. They would watch puppet shows about these things andd understand it all. Hour in the morning, hour in the evening. One standard. That can some with Aja, some with devotees. Some before breakfast.
How to eat better? Experiment with different diets.

>>>Our new update Maharaj is we are making some adjustments and definitely strive to be chanting, doing mangal for Brahma Muhurta time: 6:15 to 7:45 here.  Struggles on days we slack: sickness/toddler up all night coughing. Devotee classes starting at 7:45-8 daily and ending at 9.  We leave at 9 but it might be best to just listen to lecture at home.  Classes are very late here.

I am now about to start my internship as well as a class on Evidence based counseling to finish my degree. Part of me does not even want to finish school (Haha, silly, I know!!) because I am already very busy with teaching 25 hours a week and keeping up with my sadhana and Aja. I am incredibly scared that I will lose my sadhana and service if I take this on.  Let me know if you have any advice!

HpS - Everything you do, if you don't chant 16-enthusiastic rounds daily and follow the four principles strictly will just be a source of great wailing and lamentation at the time of your death. You were so close to going back to Krsna in your last lifetime, but you didn't follow these principles and you messed it all and took birth again . and again . and again. You were a great Baron in you last life and Nick was a rival Prince, and Aja his son. You were not fair with them and they have come back to get their revenge. We told you this last lifetime but you didn't take it seriously and made your own priorities for success rather than doing your part and messed up your own material and spiritual success as well as everybody elses, maybe.

HpS - Of course, don't do anything that doesn't first INCREASE your attachment to Japa-vraja and 4-principles and Full Morning Program. Krsna will send the Prasad if you do that. 

>>>Maybe Krsna is making arrangements for us to not do the internship (our internship just magically fell through the last minute).  We do have a HUMUNGOUS student loan though.  So trying to get this paid off and being able to make more lakshmi will enable us to work part time with a higher paying job and spend half of our time doing sankirtan activities (helping with the school, preaching center, etc.)  We are not sure if our logic is correct, but we hope that being materially better situated will increase our attachment.

HpS - Ask a lot of people for advice on how to make a practical balance. Rounds, principles first thennnnnn you will have gud inteligentz!

Another bit of news is we have been very involved in trying to resurrect, renovate, and now hold preaching programs at My Sweet Lord Cafe.  Lots of insightful dialogues with great devotees such as Sadhu and Sudhevi, Mahat Tattva in San Diego on how to run a preaching center that appeals to the 21st century American. Our team is composed of a lot of smart Microsoft Indian intellectual preachers, so a crash course from Mahat Tattva on how to preach logically and universally and NONJUDGMENTALLY has been very helpful.  Working with those senior to me and with the authorities here, I am trying to contantly reiterate your advice Maharaj of "understanding my position" so I do not step on any toes but also inspire.  We have our first kirtan, vegetarian feast this Saturday at MSL!  I made a flyer.  But so much coordination is needed so it doesnt look like a train wreck (nice kirtaniyas, nice 15 minute discussion, no in your face preacher fanatics).  Also, this is a big commitment since it should be a weekly program not just a monthly one.  Feeling like the lone Joan of Arc in the crowd!  I know my awkward ashram position may be a reason why trying to organize these programs with this team feels strange.  It most definitely is keeping my active mind very creatively engaged though.  Please let me know if you have any comments/advice.

My unending gratitude for the shelter you and Srila Prabhupada have given to us all.  I read some of my past letters from four years ago.  So, so much tolerance you have given.

Your aspring servant,

Kamagayatri dd

Get up early and get your rounds done (enthusiastically), then Krsna can do the magic!

AGTSP

paoho & bw.

The Black Witch (Durga Devi) never sleeps:  "Ha! Ha! I gonna make you forget Krsna!"
(Of course, She is just playing that role for our benefit.)

But the White (Golden) Witch (Radha) sleeps even less!!!!
Thank, You Mataji. We are struggling so hard with our mind and senses. We hope to be very intelligent to use our lust for usefule purposes and get free from all lust.
----------------------

Mail answered up to 3 days ago. 6.11PM, rush to NGD's ashrama for walk. 2 degress Celscius here. Stop to buy razor blades.
Finished our Bh. Vai,, SB 6.5 Essays and our PPTX for Hawaii tommorrow and shipped both.
Hari Bolo!!

Sankirtan! Make everyone you meet a distributor. Give them 5-books!

Hare Krsna dear Hanumatpresaka Maharaja, please accept my respectful obeisances, all glories to Srila Prabhupada!

A couple of days ago I read your question to write about my Sankirtana so I try to collect few things about it.

As Radhe wrote finally we moved from Manchester to Luton which is very near to Bhaktivedanta Manor. We can say that we are fortunate because we can attend the temple morning program and can hear from advanced devotees once a week. Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda are very very beautiful, so good to see Them and sing&dance before Them with the devotees! And we can chant japa in the presence of Tulasi devi as well.

In a smaller Sankirtana circle we are together with Radhe, daily we sing Mangala arati and chant japa. During last Kartik month we sang the Damodarastakam every day and we made a practice of doing it; nowadays we sing the Gaura arati song at evenings and it is a good experience.

In a point of view my wife is a guru for me, because she (or Krsna through her) teaches me how to be in a proper serving mood all the time continually.

Our common preaching is limited to the colleagues. We try to give them some prasadam and I think in this effort the upcoming festive season will help us.

And in the smallest Sankirtana circle there are two kind of activity. The first is to preach to the outside world. It means that I run a blog about chanting Japa and translate/managing the translating tasks of a book called 'When Good Fortune Arises' about Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja from His disciple Madhavananda prabhu.

The second is to preach to myself. Actually it means that I have to learn so many things about how to be a servant of Sri Krsna, study the sastra and learn how to chant properly. Sometimes I have to start from the very basics due to the forgetfulness, laziness, 'i do not know what else'-ness.

These were the small news from Luton with love! I hope your health is ok! Recently I have not read any bad news about it. And hope that your preaching plans are / will be successful!

Thank you for your valuable time, Jaya Sri Sri Guru Gauranga! your servant, Kadamba Kanana dasa

HpS - ASA -- Sooooooooooo nice to hear from you. We met just a little bit somewhere in Europe. I cannot remember where, but always hoping to get more of your association.

We moved the Temple from San Francisco across the Bay to Berkeley where the big university is. Then Jayatirtha Das wrote to Prabhupada that we had discovered that the preaching was good there.

Prabhupada responded, "You have discovered that the preaching is good there because you have made the endeavor there. Wherever you make the endeavor you will discover that the preaching is good."
It's a fact, just preach, get across the idea, "Well, I don't know, but my old Grand Daddy used to say...", and then more and more preaching will come as Krsna desires! I have to learn this.

Madhavananda is such a nice devotee!

Hare Krsna Maharaja,

Please accept my respectful obeisances,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Thanks for your quick answer.

HpS - ASA - AGTSP paoho. We thought maybe you had realized our association was useless and went on to find more competent Sankirtan partners. <img alt="smiley" height="23" src="http://hps-d6.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="23" />

Your association is very useful and life saver for me and such a nice devotee like you don't grow on trees :)
Our meeting in Mayapur wasn't an coincidence, we needed to meet.
And i'm very grateful for you because you taught me to respect and see the good in everybody.
For your inspiration i started to read Srila Prabhupada Lilamrita and Krsna book everyday. And i could deepen my relationship with Srila Prabhupada.
I'm a bad correspondent, so sorry about that :( but i think about you a lot.
In the last few months many things were in my mind and you always answered me in your blog "accidentally" :) You wrote about these topics in somebody else message.
So i feel connection with you and i feel you care about me and serve me (and i don't serve you :( but maybe because we don't meet regularly in person this connection is not so deep.
Or just my mind is too difficult because i'm in a woman body...
I feel in the air...and my situation is still not clear. Am i a brahmana or not? Need to be re-initiated or not?
So i'm sure i want to belong to somewhere and somebody and i want to be a useful instrument.
I hope you understand what i mean, Maharaja.
I don't know how can i deep my relationship with you. I don't do any service for you, i'm not scholared and not so sincere like your disciples. So i'm useless, Maharaja, not you.
But i'm interested in your opinion. How could you deepen your relationship with Srila Prabhupada? Especially after his departure?

ASA - If you dig into it aren't there some good folks, things, there? We went for several bicycle tours around our neighborhood and yes, so many stupid things, but we also found a bookstore where they said wecould have meetings of a Reading Group with our tea and cookies and they would advertise it. Of course, we offered to have them sell any books we were reading.

From January we will be less busy than now so we try to find new opportunities here.

HpS - ASA - You can also join the ASA Hawaii and San Franciso groups, if they match your time.
I would like to start study from the beginning (from first canto). Is it posibble there? Is there a beginner group?

HpS - ASA Today ---  Only program I would know might be in Radha-desa?!  Some in the USA but that is so different on time standard. Maybe through Mayapura Institute. Google them on line. Always, find a friend and then get together by person or phone and start reading together. We have some Study Guides. You could get a partner(s) and then do some work through the Blog here.

HpS -  Hmmmmm, maybe we do a big program with Oxford Center etc???
I would be happy if i could assist you in it. Just let me know how can i help you.

HpS - ASA - Thank you! Krsna doesn't waste anyone's austerities. Please tell your good husband to send us a little news of his Sankirtan also!!!
I delivered your message to him and he will send to you a message soon.

Thank you for your association, Maharaja!
I wish you all the best!

Your servant, Sri Radhe devi dasi

HpS - ASA Today--- I a few minutes it will all be over and we will be in Goloka again and you will know who is everyone in ISKCON in their spiritual form etc. 16-enthusiastic rounds, 4-principles strictly.