Hare Krishna Gurudeva,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Thank you very much for your reply to my previous letter. I hope this meets you well.
As a reply to your question on how i managed to get some taste back for chanting, i can not say all of the following is a reason for sure but this first thing surely is. Perhaps already about a year ago I commented to Kadamba Kanana Swami in emotional mood, that in my opinion he should be in Holland more often, because the Yatra needs his powerful presence and internally i felt that because he is of Dutch birth he is obliged.
Upon saying that i literally felt my heart sink in vaishnava aparadha. But because he is not here very often, it took me about a year to get the chance to meeet him personally and beg forgiveness. I happily had the opportunity about a month ago when he did a program in the temple. Later that night i woke up in the middle of the night and started chanting japa, and it was the first time in a long time i had the 'old' experience of chanting; the taste was back.
HpS - Wow!!
Besides this, I often wake up in the middle of the night because of sleep disruption. I am quite happy with that, even though it sometimes creates difficulty in the day, because these are my private moments of prayer and devotional immersion.
HpS - We had the same experience on the Braja-mandala-parikrama, lying on the ground in big Indian cotton tents with 85-devotees snoring around us.
Also, because i don't manage to chant my full quota of japa, in moments of more sattva guna, i manage to actually listen and be enthusiastic about my little japa time. Although it is all very faint, it is promising to me, and encouraging.
I humbly pray that i wish to go deeper in understanding Krishna because as of lately i feel stuck on the same level for years (lifetimes?), and it is all very superficial to me. Please bless me to do so.
HpS - Well, I guess we are already blessing you. You have to just keep looking for little ways to squeeze in one more mantra here and one more mantra there! Try and chant for others! Giving the Holy Name is an excellent of Dadati, NOI 4.
Do it. Make little progress, every day! LITTLE!
This week was my first week back on the road and you asked me for a KC moment. I read your request only hours before my first morning and i didn't have to wait long. The first day i drove a Mercedes Benz luxury car (rather than a van, which is common), so i was enjoying myself very much. But two hours later the clutch died and the company had to come tow me away from Schiphol national airport. After i got back i had to take another car, and i then literally got the oldest horse from the stable for the rest of the day. Krishna played a nice joke on me. It was funny.
HpS - !! ! ! ! ! !!!! !
Yesterday we did our first childrens program in the temple. I am coordinating it together with my wife. For now it's once a month in the temple and once a month in the home or park at one of the participants. There were eight children yesterday and focussed on the Narasimha Caturdasi and had amongst others an offering of buckwheat Russian pancakes with fresh jam. It was very delightful and every one was happy. As you can see on the photo the kids chanted, there was a storytelling, and drawing, and lots of running and dancing. I funded my part of the prasadam from the tips i received this week. It felt very encouraging to do something active in our yatra, and i noticed how i missed to be doing stuff in the temple amongst devotees.
ASA - Don't complain! You are a very fortunate person. You may not see the progress, but it is building up, building up. The little blades of grass grow and grow and then one day . . . they push over the big building.
Thank you very much for encouraging me. I'm not sure what to say or wish to you personally in return, so i hope that my small efforts in service are offering you perhaps a little satisfaction.
Your aspiring servant,
Raghava-pandita dasa
ASA - Ur wyfe is in the pikture??? Do they have trolls in your country?
