Dear Guru Maharaj,

Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to Srila Prabhupada! Happy Radhastami! I hope Srimati Radharani is being extra kind to you today.

HpS - Yes, we got a side long glance from Her, and it was full of disatisfaction. We have to improve our character and work.

This morning Brghupati prabhu lead us all in Sri Radhika Stava by Rupa Goswami. I think it's my favorite bhajan.

I've been busy as usual out here on the left coast; just a week or two ago I managed to procure my very own sankirtan van to utilize as a transcendental art studio! So lately I've been running around trying to take care of registration, insurance, AAA membership etc etc, and now I'm about 95% complete.

I had to ask my parents to cosign on a loan since I had zero credit, and they obliged to the extent that they even told me I don't have to pay them back. Of course I intend to ASAP, but in the meantime I find myself in a situation where I have total freedom and no expenses for at least a year! I managed to also get practically all the equipment needed for displaying my art in markets and art fairs until I'm prepared to directly approach galleries and art dealers. For now, all I have to do is just chant Hare Krishna, study, paint, do some internet marketing, and practice Kirtan. My sadhana was suffering when I had to do yard work all day and then stay up late to work on stuff but now that I can set my own schedule I'm able to make up for lost time. Since moving into "Vrnda-van" I've been able to attend full morning program in temple daily, chant about 48 rounds, read at least a couple hours etc so I'm just thrilled to be gradually getting back on track.

Just the other day I sent out an email trying to organize some grassroots preaching initiative here in LA and I've been getting an enthusiastic response. I'm trying to at least get  a decent group together to help my friend Marvin with his Bhakti yoga college clubs before I head out to visit the east coast. It looks like I'll be back east a bit longer than usual this year because I'm going a little early to help Your Holiness with Rathayatra,

HpS - Our "Rathayatra" has always been a little part of the Celebrate Nashville Festival. It has been cancelled this year and last year.

...and staying a bit later because we had to push back the date of our exhibition until the end of November. Looks like Krishna is arranging a crash course for me in art curation! My mantra lately is, "if you're not scared, you're not thinking big enough!"

On a related topic I had an opportunity to visit Tukaram prabhu recently and ask his advice about some of the stuff I'm going through. Practically right away he brought up the question of ashram. I think I've already mentioned that I feel uneasy about going into art as a brahmacari mainly because of the social etiquette I'm supposed to follow. If I was just sitting in a temple doing BBT illustrations that would be one thing, but as someone trying to actively engage with the world of contemporary art, I'm realizing more and more that it will be problematic. In addition, Tukaram prabhu pointed out that sociological elements notwithstanding, my whole orientation towards life right now is not really consistent with brahmacari ashram. Because I'm bold and independent and ambitious rather than meek and dependent and aloof. He said it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it has a certain time and place. It's true that I'm not exactly eager for a relationship or a family at this point, but in the meantime at least the type of sacrifice I'm engaged in (embracing the world and offering sense objects into the fire of the senses) seems more aligned with the grhastha ashram. The way I see it is, if I go down the path of grhastha ashram, in the course of performing devotional service either I'll eventually meet someone who is equally invested in the things I'm interested in, in which case a partnership may actually be useful, or I'll just be too busy to even bother and after a few years I'll just go directly into vanaprastha ashram. I guess I find it important to discuss this because I do actually have respect for the ashram of brahmacarya, and I don't want to misrepresent it if I don't find it worthwhile at this stage to follow all the rules and regulations in detail.

I'm actually starting to think that unless one is doing tksp, grhastha ashram might actually be advantageous in some ways for preaching in the modern west. I feel like as a monk, social interactions are limited more or less to an official capacity of giving direct guidance or instructions. But if people don't already appreciate or accept the value system or the authority behind monastic life they are less likely to value or apply those instructions. So if I can befriend people, and set a public example and aesthetic portraying the value system of Vedic thought as attractive and beneficial, I hope that people will come of their own volition to submissively inquire about philosophy. What do you think? Does any of that make sense or am I just trying to justify my maya?

HpS - As you say, it seems like the best approach is to just go ahead with your service and then if you need to make a change, it will become obvious. In general, there is 100% opportunity to preach in the current social system as a Brahmacari. Women respect monks and are very, very greedy to have that kind of association in the proper perspective, as brother, father, son. It has always been that way ans always will be that way.
Prabhupada acted as the "Father" to so many girls. They didn't want him in any other relationship.

I look forward to catching up with you in Nashville soon to serve you personally and find out more about your Art and the Sacred presentation. I'm about to buy plane tickets so I just want to confirm the date. You mentioned before that the parade is the first weekend of October, so does that mean Saturday October 1st?

Your fallen servant,

Ekāśma Dās

HpS - You can always call us or put URGENT in these letters. Again, the Festival here is cancelled. We are just absorbed in writing for the most part now, but it is going on.  We have no particular bodily conception of life. Only "personal service" we can conceive is when people are serving the Supreme Person!
Go ahead!   Lets look at your next letter!

P.S. I think you mentioned me on your recent guru Tattva post. I don't recall bringing up guru Tattva recently, could you remind me what it's in reference to? Thank you : D