Hare Krishna
I'm about to leave ISKCON. But not Srila Prabhupada.
I clarify.

HpS - ASA -- Please, AGTSP. SP is the Founder and Acharya of ISKCON. No one shares or occupies that position, so to leave ISKCON means to leave Srila Prabhupada, no?

I am about to leave my relationship with the local administration, not with Srila Prabhupada and the Sankirtan movement of Lord Caitanya. Actually they already left me a long time ago.

It's 2.30am. My demons do not leave me alone. I have to kill them. The only way is to write about them and they will leave. I've already chanted five bad rounds and I can not continue. The thoughts harass me.

"wherever two or more meet in my name I will be there " I always liked that phrase of Jesus. I think ISKCON is becoming an esoteric entity. Wherever there are people trying to fulfill the seven purposes of ISKCON...Srila Prabhupada is there.

I'm not going to tell the administration what your job is. Actually nobody knows what they do. A few years ago, I commented with P. Mathures on the importance of communication between the community and the administration. Something basic. I told him that from the outside you can not see that they do much, you do not see a vision. May be they are doing many good things, They may have a vision. But nobody knows. So how are we going to work in cooperation? You only know about them when they communicate that they are going to punish someone . Anyway, I'm nobody to judge. I am sure they are making sincere efforts. But frankly I do not see a north, a perspective.

This is not an emotional reaction, just in case. I have been trying to do things since 2002. I have experienced many adverse situations in the institution and I have always kept doing things. Only the hospital took me away for a while. But even I could barely move, I came back. If you look up the word resilente in the dictionary ... there's my picture.

I'm fine. I get up early, I follow the principles, I chant my rounds the best I can, I go out on harinam from time to time, I distribute some books and prasadam, I read, I study. As soon as I finished the semester at university, I took this facilitation course with P. Baladeva from Argentina. I'm busy with my thesis project. In September I start the last semester. And then, next year I´ll start my doctorate. I am focused on that for Prabhupada and you. To improve my service in the education area. But I'm thinking more outward. There are many people who need a higher vision. It is surprising what one discovers and learns with outsiders. This is motivating me more to educate myself to help. In fact I already have a good relationship with several people. I give them books, mini japas, prasadam and we talk.
Association I do not lack. I relate to Srila Prabhupada and my sankirtan group, my students and teachers. Also the sangas vituales, etc. With the administration only a kind treatment. No more.

In the educational aspect, I have already spoken on numerous occasions to retake Peru as the examination center for Bhakti sastri, however they have other priorities, another vision, apparently. I'm not going to insist. There is a group that has finished the course, there are others who are waiting for previous groups and there is a new group that is starting. At first I thought about stopping all this, also because of my thesis, but it would not be fair to leave the devotees who are enthusiastic about getting educated. It would also be a bad precedent for the administration because I would have to say the reason why we would stop. I am thinking that a good temporary solution would be for the devotees to take the exam through an other examination  center that we can access through your generous advice. The details would fix here, how to get a Proctor, etc.
Thank you very much, gurudev for your mercy, for listening to me. I hope we can talk about this and other issues that concern me very soon.
ssLAD

HpS - ASA-  Hare Krsna. Your thoughts sound like my thoughts at 2.30AM after five bad rounds. Thank you for sharing them with us.   Now we need another letter at 10AM after 16 good rounds.

Good means the best we can do.

If we are following the four principles then we are sober enough to know if are making a good try to chant good rounds. That is ISKCON: The community of devotees who get up for Arati and Kirtana during Brahma-muhurta, chant good rounds, read and discuss SB amongst themselves and then after Prasada meet to plan their Sankirtan etc.

We keep ASA that way. You can join us with letters like this or on line and when we visit. When we die we can all go to Goloka.

Taking Sannyasa means to minimize our administrative activities in our insitutuional relation with ISKCON.

So, please write again after 16-good rounds for Srila Prabhupada. Thank you so much for your association!