AgtSP!
Agt Guru Gauranga!
Hare Krsna Maharaja!

I wish You are perfect in all aspects.

HpS - So do I and you too.

I think a lot of times about You, Yours instructions, Your association. But it's true that I love this blog.
I think that my spiritual life is going further, but I feel that must close one circle of the life, and begin other. And for all I think I should formalize my relationship with You, and that must formally began the life of vanaprastha. 
 

I think I have grow a little bit and understand better the formalities.
Please give me your order; Can I enter the vanaprastha asrama? Can I speak with the authorities and start the process to be an aspirant? What advices You give me regarding these two points?

HpS - I do not know your details!??    Usually Vanaprastha starts at 50-years old, but can start earlier. Are you initiated?  We don't know your Civil Body, only your Blog Body.
 

I know that I have a big anartha in the heart about You. That is very difficult to me to see You with the gravity that one must look at the representative Diksa of Krsna for one person. I always think in Yourself like a big friend. . .

HpS -ASA -- Is better than "big fiend". You are very kind.

... ...and I had realize that is bad for our spiritual relationship, and is related to the impurities related to the Guru and Paramatma that I have...that is represented in any person or place-thing.(then, like me more, see at You like a friend). But I know is a bad understanding.
I know You are my Diksa Guru, and Siksa also, and my soul is crying so that once it happens.
Sorry for all my anarthas.

I have one question about Paramatma association.
I am trying to realize Nama and Rupa, and Nama condensed in Rupa atmosphere perception. And Rupa drive me to the flow from Paramatma. That Rupa in my stage is very near to Paramatma. Is good this understanding?

HpS - Ooof. It is very complicated for us and make the language not perfect and no perfect answer is possible, but the way I hear what you are doing it seems O.K. in general but to get to hard details you must get better foundation. Initiated?    Following the basic Standard?

Also push me to feel Krsna at any moment, without stop, anytime, manmana bhava mad bhakto?? Is the path? I need Your instructions.

HpS - Above.

Also I feel Paramatma is pushing me to do more austerities, but I don't know if is Maya or a real instruction. I don't know if is good for me.
Please, give me Your order.

Thanks You very much for all Maharaja.

Your eternal servant.

Hare Krsna.

HpS - Read, read, read, chant, in the community of ISKCON and alone with Krsna and you will get practical understanding.