Hare Krishna Maharaja!

Is there a proper or recommended attitude toward the realization of one's own spiritual body/service in Goloka? Should the desire to return to serving Radha and Krishna in their lila be the forefront of my practice and the motivation to pursue the path of devotion? My feelings at the moment are that I am very fallen and far from advanced stages of Krsna Consciousness so I should just focus on performing the fundamentals of bhakti and not jump ahead to these deep subjects. Is it appropriate to think like in siksastaka prayer that Krishna is free to do as he likes with me, he can leave me broken hearted by not being present before me etc? I will keep attempting  my basic services whether or not my internal/eternal service is EVER revealed to me or even if I never get a taste or positive feedback from Krishna. Or is the proper approach to be intensely greedy to get back to Vraja and serve the Lord in a spiritual form. Am I simply a fool in denial? Please enlightened me.

Your aspiring servant

Bhakta Daniel 

HpS - ASA - We can only try to remember what Prabhupada is discussing. The last verse of the Siksastikam that you paraphrase is described in Caitanya Caritamrta as coming from Lord Chaitanya in a mood of advanced devotion.

As I know you I would say its fine to think about Krsna and Braja and wanting to serve there and go there, but it is more natural for you and us to be thinking about freedom from distress and a life in ISKCON that is positively harmonius with our business, family, church, health.

O.K?    Focus on getting your rounds done for practical purposes but as much as is natural focus on going to Goloka in the Holy Names.

Thank you!