Hare Krishna gurudev 

Dandavat pranam at your lotus feet.

All glories to Srila prabhupada and acharyas

As to the last letter you had asked me few things.

HpS - ASA - Sorry it has taken to so long to respond. Traveling we meet hundreds of people with whom we talk.  Very nice, but limits the chance to respond of Blog posts.

Well I was working in a rural hospital in West Bengal but I submitted my resignation on 30 July

.I stay alone in Siliguri and plan to stay here for few more months .Going through depression and trying to control my emotions. I will be going to Delhi on 21st august for  health check-up and medication and plan to visit vrindavan for 2 days as it happens to be Rupa goswami disappearance festival. I always liked Ter kadamba environment. I had a strange dream 2days back about vrindavan. I am strangely happy that I got Krsna related dream after so many months.

You adviced me to do some sadhana as much as necessary and I can do..I feel I will try to chant 4 rounds till Rupa goswami disappearance day and see if I can do it .

HpS - Did you????   Answer with URGENT in the Title field. 

I have a doubt .

1) why after chanting and following for whatever little that I did, still I am suffering. Believe me when I say I did pray when I was in vrindavan but it seems nothing is being heard. How do I continue feeling like I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong with devotees as I am not pure and other nondevotee people dont understand me.what is he trying to teach ?

You mercifully accepted me and now due to me you too are suffering too.  Sorry again .

Rturaj krsna das

HpS - I don't know the internal details of your situtation enough to give a specific answer. Krsna arranged for Draupadi to get sexually harassed. Restrained Bhisma deva from protecting her. He didn't agree to Kubja's request to stay at here house always.  These situations have explanations. If you, we, look at people who are materially similar to us. Even old friends from school days then we can see that Krsna really is helping. I look at them and see that they have sometimes fallen into alcoholism or have Parkinson's disease etc. At 70-years old with the kind of wild American youth we had, our health is splendid. Doctor certified.

I want to get free from attachments, and I do, but others are still there. We may go from pints of Burfi to pints of sherbet. That is real progress. 

Some of these attachments are very, very, deep. Some though appearing strong are very shallow.

Let's here the results of your 4-rounds a day.