Dear Guru Maharaja:
All glories to Sri Sri Radha Krishna
All glories to Sri Sri Gaura Nitai
All glories to Srila Prabhupada
All glories to you
Please accept my most humble obeisances
I want a lot of things, because I think I need them and when I have them my life is going to be a little more comfortable, sometimes I make lists, lists of things that I have to buy, lists of things that I have to do, sometimes I think that when I have everything I will not want anything else, but thinking in retrospect that's an illusion, because many times I got the things from my list and I was not happier, I did not stop wishing, I only make new lists with the hope that it is the last and feel the satisfaction of having everything completed.
HpS - When we were first coming to the Temple in San Francisco, we remember reading in Srila Prabhupada's books, that there are an unlimited number of material pleasures and no one can have them all. When we heard that we became so much less frustrated, tormented. We just relaxed and accepted it. There will be many things which we won't have. A little external satisfaction, peace, then...... Suprasidati, please ourselves, drink the beverage that quenches the real thirst that we are seeking through Coca Cola, Orange Crush.....
I have countless desires that are to please my senses, sometimes I have other desires, I want to improve in my service, I want to have more knowledge of the scriptures, I want to preach, I want to worship the deities. Only that most of the time I pay more attention to my material desires.
ASA - Madhyama adhikari.
And I think: what purpose does this desire have? None, satisfy it will only give me a temporary enjoyment [which does not only me for a limited time, but also superficial] and I will want something more, then I decide to separate it, not think about it anymore. At other times I can not.
I am very attached to a certain way of thinking, I make plans and when they do not go as I want I go into crisis, even if it is a very small thing, at that moment I remember that Krsna is the supreme controller and everything improves. [NOI 1, manasa vegam... yukta virodha krodah.... Pleasures of the senses, pleasures of the mind].
Other times I judge others automatically, even without knowing the details, when I realize that I am doing it, I try to think on Krsna. Why am I wasting my time judging others when I can think on Krsna? Only a fool would, sometimes I'm a fool.
Maya is very strong, every day seems like a battle against her, but we are fighting! [And gaining eternal victories].
It is difficult for me to lead with the atmosphere of work, I work in the navy, with 4 officers, of 40, 50 and one of 70 years old, they talk all the time about football, politics, women, bbq, wine. After Mangala Arati I go to work, and the energy difference is usually a bit shocking.
- The cow herd boys play foot ball.
- Arjuna was a politician.
- Putana was a woman.
- Pakoras are like Bar-b-cue
I would just sit and listen to Bob Bickford for many years when came to the Sunday Feast. He was a yogi, 15-years older than me, we would talk about things in a pleasant fashion, then one day Krsna used me to just get the message across to him and he said, "Touche". He had to accept what I had said and make an eternal step forward, big one.
On the other hand, maybe we will change our job, get a job with a big German pharmaceutical company selling organice drugs.
I started Bhakti Sastri, I plan to live in the temple until I finish it, I am saving to travel to the Holy Dham.
Following principles, chanting 16 rounds, attending regularly to Mangala Arati.
I can't attended SB Class in the temple because I'm at work. What can i do?
HpS - Adjust! Use your individual intelligence. Ask others. Read on the bus, go to be earlier, and get up to have class, read, before Mangala arati.... Gotta have protein, gotta have SB in the morning.
I can't connect to starmeeting because my cellphone is broken.
Is it ok if i watch SB Classes online in the afternoon (on YouTube for example)?
HpS - No. Not enough. Need some hearing in the morning. We adjusted. Even 10-regular minutes of CC in the morning is better than nothing, but adjust so you have solid time reading, hearing. We had to pass up a good job to keep the hearing and chanting but it was worth it.
I hope you are in good health!
Yours in Srila Prabhupada's service
Kirtida Devi Dasi
Pic 1: We finished to cook early at sunday feast, and sat down to hear pastimes.
Pic 2: Bhaktin Cecilia and me with a weird tomato
HpS - Prahlada nrsmha Das lost the Image files! So send again... the weird tomato!
Pic ours - Ravana kidnapping Sita, "Help!!!!" You must help Her.