My biggest impediment

1 year, 7 months ago by aja.govinda in Personal Sadhana Reports

Dear Guruji,

Please accept my most humble obeisances and all glory to Srila Prabhupada.

I have realized that my chanting is largely ineffective because of my inattentive nature. I find that probably my biggest offense while chanting is not having faith. I am always worrying about my job, my family, my problems, my expenses, the future, and on and on.

I realized that if I had true and complete faith in the Lord then I would not be stressed out and worried all the time and I would be calm and peaceful while I was chanting.

So I realized that the cause of my grief is my lack of faith in God. I find myself chained in a box of my own creation and I miss the freedom I experienced while being a brahmacari, distributing books while living in San Jose or Los Angeles temples, or traveling and distributing Prabhupada’s books while living in San Jose or Los Angeles temples, or traveling with sannyasis and gurus.

My only hope for redemption is association (sat-sanga). We are starting again our weekly programs for our Vedanta student club (here at Texas A&M University Kingsville) in which we read the Bhagavad-Gita as it is and we do Kirtan, Aarthi, and Prasad.

In this program my main focus will be on chanting because I need to improve my chanting of the holy name and I need to learn to have faith in God. Though trying to finish chanting 16 rounds, I often have Japa left over and this is building up. I need to catch up on my leftover rounds accumulated due to my schedule and time mismanagement. 

I can come to Houston any time before March because March is when my sister’s wedding will happen in India.

YAS,

Aja govinda dasa

HpS - No one told us about Satakshi's wedding!   What date is it? Dr. Bandyopadhaya said any one who gets her for a wife will be a very lucky person.

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