Hare Krishna Dear Maharaja 
Accept my most humble obeisances at your lotus feet.
ASA - Lettuce feet.

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada
ASA - !!!  !  Who is so, so, tolerant!!

Dear Maharaja,
I had trouble with my laptop, lost my charger and completly forgot where, finally i found it and im able to do my weekly report.

 things have gone intensly good and bad , due to some changes, i'm getting to know myself better thru service, which amazes me the most, i've been cleaning the main hall at the temple, where the deities are, washing prabhupada's cloths and making garlands, attending to mangal aarti again this week because last week was really hard for me, but atending every sunday to the main party and doing service on sunday and  as well doing another services  requiered in the temple. I already spoke to the temple's president in order to let him know im following steps in order to get all the  requirements  done, and hopefully get to be under your shelter. following my 4 principles takes me to been fallen a month ago, i broke principle of not having sex  before marriage with my boyfriend, it's being hell...i'm still recovering due to the damage i did to myself, i feel truly ashamed of myself but i couldnt go on without letting you know, i fail myself, i fail to you, to my daughter and to my devotee friends, i want to be honest and sincered with you because you are my main guidance. i'm learning that the best way to learn (yes i said it) it's telling when one is making or believes being making a mistake to your head superiors. i'm ashamed for what i did and im doing everything is possible to get back on track and keep doing my best, it's a hard process, but i see the small results in every act. i could be saying im the most fallen but i know i would be speaking from my ego, im surprised how im starting to know myself and learning to be hard on me when its need it after falling. i thank you from deep inside my soul for guiding me and ask mercifully to forgive me for breaking principles as such an early start, if there is a consecuence i will asume it and take it as deserve for my actions.

HpS - ASA --- Hare Krsna, Mataji.  We all thank you for your honesty. Probably six more people who had the same falldown as you within the last few months are feeling very respectful toward you that you have the courage to admit this.
Illicit, stupid, sex does contaminate our consciousness. Socrates said exactly the same thing... Mohammad, Jesus, Shakespeare....   It STRONGLY conditions you to experience things from a meangingless, or at least superficially meaningful, point of view. I don't see the spirit in the other person. I just see, and feel, their tool, their body.
Yet, it can be a deep attachment. We learn from our falldowns. If we just enjoy attention from the other sex because of our intelligence, material skills, that is also a falldown.   We have to be in LOVE with Krsna, again.

For this community, this Blog, it is like talking about something after a Sunday Feast lecture with the 6-7 devotees who come up to the speaker after the lecture for more confidential discussions. No need to go into such detail. If necessary we can talk in private with another devotee as a chaperone, but usually the general principles are enough.

Even in marriage the only natural gross relationship between husband and wife is to get great kids. Eat for strength.

. . . also my chanting it was improving but i keep losing track,  there is no excuse for losing track of my chanting but it stills hard for me to discipline myself into chanting my 16 rounds.  what else can i say... im not doing my best right now, and im taking responsability of my acts by being honest to you, and to myself, i dont know if its normal in the process to go thru all of this, falling from time to time, and everytime being more aware at what im failing at, im not proud of this at all. i spoke to H.H Bhakti Sundar Maharaja about it, and he told me, it was ok for me to feel bad about braking principles, because feeling bad meant i was aware i was doing something bad, and that's my main punishment.

HpS - Jaya, Maharaja. Everyone is different. Someone may be free from illicit sex within the first month but still be addicted to tobacco 20-years later and be sincere.

 I'm a mess, i know that now, but i deeply and sincerily want to make it better.

 Krishna, Prabhupada, you and my daughter is everything i've got  and i dont want to lose any of you for being a fool and making such stupid mistakes....

 Please forgive me.

 Bhaktina Andrea. 

HpS - ASA -- Seems you are doing O.K.  Go ahead. Help you fiancee and whole world to go ahead!   Waiting for more news.