Hare Krishna! Please accept my obeisances, AGTSP!
Dear Maharaja, life was much simpler and it has only grown more complicated as I enter adulthood. This last year was so bizzare, Prahlad commiting suicide had a large impact on me and then a few months later my sister died from cancer, that was certainly the hardest experience of my life to go through. On her death bed I gave her my Tulsi neckbeads, put Radha Kunda water on her head, chanted with her and played Srila Prabhupada japa. My family members really had no clue how to help her move on from this body and for once they saw me in a new light, as I was the only one that was able to hold it together.
By spring time I started a small business of growing food/bulk buying dried fruits, nuts and selling it at the Sunday Feast, farmers markets, grocery stores. There were many difficulties in this endeavour, and I was not making much money doing it, however this certainly can be profitable if things are organized better.
In August I started working off the farm at a grocery store, now I am in the midst of switching jobs to be a greenhouse manager at a local community center.
I have been trying to pursue a partnership with Alyssa since last winter. It has been up and down, sometimes inspiring and devotionally inclined, most times a struggle.
I feel that my spiritual life as declined tremendously, yet I never stop hoping and praying that I will rise above these lower modes, addictions, and bad habits etc. ASAP. Sometimes I feel a great catastrophe will soon befall my life due to the great ignorance that holds me back from God. I really only want to be a devotee and to serve in the mission of respiritualizing human society. Lately I have felt the urge to runaway and go to India or to become your travel companion, my heart aches with lonliness and confusion, and I believe something has to change soon.
As far as internet preaching goes, my page is up to nearly 2000 followers, I have been doing regular live streams still. About 5 people have taken things very seriously and started attending their local temple and practicing. Probably 20 or so others are very close but still on the fence.
Here are some pictures to show You what I've been up to.
HpS - Running away to India or anything else is not much solution. What you are doing seems reasonable. Just have to push...
push
push to do mo rounds betta! Make vow!!!! Declare it here! Eg. I will chant. 6-rounds a day minimum, 15,, for two weeks. Something you know you can do then do it. The Yuga dharma. The way up can be very quick!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOCcSmP_t8U&t=776s From 12.00 minutes
