HARE KRSNA DEAR GURU MAHARAJA

hope this meet you in good health..

... it's been more than two months since our last letter... things haven't been so good in these time...

Materially I do very well ... I can not complain ... I have two jobs and the studies are quite good ... it is much more than I expected.

In fact I have more responsibilities at school for next year and that makes me very happy because I'm doing what I like and working in a place where I can have some freedom of teaching.

As for health I am taking a special treatment to gain weight. Some doctors are pushing me to eat meat but i am still looking for other options. I feel that I have more energy but I am trying to dose that energy. My mind works more than my body.

My big concern is that in these months I have been questioning a lot Who am I? What is my relationship with Krsna? What is my mission in this life? Do i really want to keep doing this?
I have taken material priorities and because of that I have neglected my spiritual life to the point that I am not chanting the rounds, I am not going to the temple or associating with devotees.

I really know what my duty as a disciple is, but I always find excuses not to. Sometimes I feel like I do not want to. All I ask Krsna every day is to help me feel desires to chant the rounds and improve my spiritual life. 

I feel quite embarrassed to write this because I know I made a promise to you and being honest you gave me so much and I'm always failing. So far I could never consider myself a follower of Srila Prabhupada's follower. 

I do not want to make more promises that maybe I will not fulfill ... I just want to tell you that despite all this problem I still try to improve every day. I know this is only a stage and I hope it happens fast.

I'm working a lot on my introspection and I see that I have a lot of disqualifications but that helps me to realize that there is a lot to work on.

Without your blessings, our life does not make any sense. Without your presence in our life is like being dead in life.
We apologize
That's how we are now and we need to tell you this.

HpS - ASA --- Please, please, write with a little news from now and then. Just one letter every two months in like going to the Doctor for your body every two months, no?    You do have a lot of excuses with your body, but in the ultimate issue, 16-4 is something directly between you and Krsna, God, creator and maintainer of all bodies. Prabhupada was not chanting Japa at the end of his life, no?   He could not even hold his hand up.

Can you fix a certain number of rounds per day until the next Ekadasi and then make your report here of the result????   Our respects to your Mother, Sister et al.