Hare Krsna Guru-Maharaj,
Pamho agtSP
Praying to Radha Damodar for Their blessing upon you.
Please excuse my pushy attempt to get your authorization for visiting the Holydham - Vrindavan this year. Actually at the end of this month.
After a very draining, intense time, we ended up dry, physical and emotionally exhausted. A urgent, revitalising and nourishing spiritual experience is required for our survival, growth, and continue in our service. At this point, I desperately seeking senior vaisnava association, shelter, spiritual nourishment. We have heard about the glories of Holy Name and Govardhan retreats organised by VIHE. We hope this time we can take part of the latter one. Please Sir, grand (grant) us your authorization and blessing to do it. I do not want to commit previous mistake (2 years ago). Visiting Holydham without your authorization, taking charge and responsibility of my spiritual life overiding You. ... The proclivity to commit mistake is contantly present as part of my material conditioning, but at least, i should avoid to commit the same mistake again and again. Help me please!!! , So, i can procede with the preparations, getting temple authority permission, booking flights, transport, accommodation that it must be done ASAP.. I am just waiting for your authorization, which at the end means Radhe Krsna and HolyDham authorization, withour it, I can not enter and being in the Holydham.
humbly, we also request, your advice, how I should be engaged, spending time in the Holydham - Vrindavan?. The idea is to have 8 weeks in the Holydham. After Govardhan retreat, perhaps i can enrol, CHANTING, parikrams.. introspection, critical reflection = self-evaluation.
This is my second attempt to writing you about it. Previously we failled to use the word URGENT, hope this time.. it works.. Dont know if you can figure out who is writing you, I am using a pseudo-name, as you suggested. It is weird way to write you, a sort of impersonal, distance.. no satisfactory way to approach to you.. but i do not have another choice..!! <img alt="sad" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/sad_smile.png" title="sad" width="23" /> <img alt="crying" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/cry_smile.png" title="crying" width="23" /> this way of communication yields in me, an intense rejection, pain, pushing me away.. better to be distance... Yes, at this point, you probably figured out who is writing. Hope so.
Sorry Sir..
Thank you. Hare Krsna
Your, disciple.
HpS - Hare Krsna, esteemed Uknown Disciple! Do not feel rejected! If you want to communicate on details then please just tell us so and then we can have a private chat, with maybe association of a Senior Grhastha if we have to adjust the Ashrama situtations.
You are a senior person, so how can you deny sharing your flesh and blood with others? Yes, please go to the Holy Dhama, if our well wishes have any effect. We also want to go there. We will be in Delhi/Vrndavana from 27th Jan - 1st Feb. Just to be alone in Vraja. Walking down the street. Even if filled with a thousand different crazy street vendors. To smell Vrndavana. To have our bare feet run over by a rickshaw and to lose two and one-half toes and maybe die of gangrene. To rub our face against the 600-year old walls of some nameless building in Loi Bazaar.
We can only suggest to read and contemplate the following link, by the mercy of Srila Prabhupada and Kusa-krata Das. Make good arrangments for good association there. Cakori Radha, Tunga-vidya Devi Dasi. VIHE courses can be nice.
You can always help with cleaning.
Write everyday and then share the results with us and we all will be with you there. Pray to understand you eternal relationship with Radha-Krsna and of course that will illuminate any external relationships.
http://www.jayarama.us/archives/vdm.doc