Hare Krishna Maharaja! It is very difficult to explain everything in a brief and reasonable way but I shall try.

Very big preaching windows opened up when I made friends with some famous youtube guys (they make inspirational positive thinking "spiritual" videos and are highly succesful like hundred thousand followers online), they put me their videos and now i am getting popular online, i am getting contacted alot by young people for guidance.

I have several projects for my farm's development, like building my own living space, trying to get some money and build a greenhouse. Planning for next year.

I am 25 years old now and have no income and little support from family other than their house and my own separate bhoga. I am almost recovered from the toxic 6 year long relationship that ended last spring, although still pretty effected by the subtle attachment. Relationship with my parents is OK getting alot better but still very strained and hard for me to be around them, my oldest sister has colon cancer and is doing chemo, im not so close with her and they dont want my opinions. 

I am seeing progress in my life, although i can only go a couple months of following strict standards and 4 regs after that i slip up and everything falls apart, until i suffer so much that i get back on track. I can see a change of heart happening. I think i am a very dysfunctional and damaged person, but i have hope someday it will work out and i can be a real devotee. 

I think if i get some stability in my life, maybe a part time job, a car so i can go to the temple more then i will do much better. Sometimes i doubt trying to make this farm project happen i would rather travel with you, but i am always running from discomfort and think it's good that i stick something out for once. What do you think?

Sadhana has been all over the place. But i listen to lectures everyday. I wish i wasn't this way but it is so hard for me to change. I want to please Krsna and i want to be your disciple! It's been a very strange year, but i really have realized ALOT about my own life. I still plan to see you after you return from this trip and before the mexico one plus i can go see you while youre in chicago. 

Thank you so much for being part  my life and looking out for me! 

Here is a little hut i am building in the side of a hill and my altar.

HpS - ASA -- Hare Krsna!  My God!   After so long we are hearing from you!   Actually, your news sounds pretty good, like you are in a place where you can make tangible progress.

It seems that you plans are sane, getting a part time job that would be basically in the mode of goodness, give some opportunity to talk with reasonably sane people and have enough time for more intense KC activities.

I've seen Krsna arrange such stuff.

Basically, keep writing to the Blog!

Will we see you in Chicago? We'll be there from 26th - 2nd November. I'll text you Etasa-krsna Das's phone number. He is just about your age and character. I think I he can help you arrange visiting the Temple.

Again, I think your stategy, plans are pretty good, but locally the thing is to keep checking in here at the Blog.
Do you have some fixed standard of Japa now?