Please accept my humble obeisances All glories to his beloved spiritual master Srila Prabhupada.

I am ashamed to write you dear Gurudeva. wanted to tell him that I could not leave  Nama aparadha, only pray for your mercy, becaouse if you dont give me your merci ¿as I can sing in Nama bahasa?, but the time just out of my hands and I can not sing purely.  I'm trying be nista, but my anharta nivriti this confused me, now i cant see the goal of my spiritual live, only you are my salvation,

Please no other hope in my life I beg you tell me ¿what is the medicine for this material disease that is choking me? I'm feeling alone and do not want more refuge, only I trust you, I can not find true peace in the material world but I cant get out my consciousness there.

I'm going crazy Gurudeva, I can not be devote and do not want to chew bones,¿ how I can accept all his blessings in my life?, I am be unable to spread this Krsna consciousness,and I feel great anxiety to think that I not have any qualifications to serve in his mission to satisfy his spiritual master alone I feel like a burden to you, I could not follow his Instruction to distribute 500 big books to a famous library, how do I do?. 

but one thing I am sure is that you are the reazon why I'm still alive.

your donky V. Kumara Dasa

HpS - Hare Krsna.   Thank you for your letter. Be a good devotee and chant Hare Krsna. That is about all we can say. There is no specific medicine for general symptoms. Are you chanting 16-rounds a day?