Hare Krishna Maharaj,

Please accept my sincere humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. 

I can feel myself getting closer, much closer to initiation than I have so far in this life. I've moved into the temple, adjusted my work schedule to be present for entire morning program and SB class. I've become the treasurer for the brahmacari ashram here in Denver. I'm really excited and enthused for this seva. Set a timeline for receiving recomendation from TP Tushta Krishna Das Prabhu and Ashram Leader Vinoda Kovida Das. 

Since getting established I've found myself getting pulled away by the modes. Sleeping in and missing morning program, pulled around by other bodily desires for illicit sex and intoxication. Slowly taking some desperate measure by writing this letter to gear my association to where it should be. Just overall feelings of low confidence in my ability to take initiation seriously (though two weeks ago I was extremely confident). I want to be able to make my vows with all sincerity and confidence that I will refrain from breaking any regs or not completing my rounds. Truthfully I'm just feeling a bit broken hearted. I know what I should do. But I also have these stupid mundane desires that I listen to far too much. I know my mind is getting to a dangerous place because I've contemplated the 'one foot in, one foot out' situation where I'm being nonsense but still being attached to my service. Though I still know that is not actually doable, there is no middle ground. 

I've already purchased my ticked to have your association in Boise. I'm also hoping that Tushta Krishna will be in touch with you to request a visit here to Denver. I know your calendar said probably no other USA stops this year, but I'm praying that Krishna will arrange something. 

Your lowly aspiring servant,

Bhakta Adrian

HpS ASA - Yes. We fight with selfish desires. We want Krsna to be happy.

Are we making progress daily.

Yes, we got invitation to visit Denver from Sacisuta Das, but out just is not possible. We're in transit through Denver both ways but will kill us if we start traveling again.

Just Boise.

Make progress today. Don't take more service than you can do. Don't be lazy, HpS!