hare krishna Maharaj pamho agtsp.

Maharaj thank you very much for all your support, it is very important to me.
I'm ashamed to say; but really I do not want to force me to make a vow. what else can I say. just please be merciful with me; so I can understand how you are engaged in devotional service.

I read the verses; I really understand that all my misfortune is the material attachment. attachment to my mother and my sister. but it's like a reflection of my desire to enjoy. I'm really suffering but with her there is nothing to do; one thing Harer Nama.
but I'm like a cloud just hope not disappear.

I think I should go to India and forget all this material world; no matter die by starvation in a forest. actually that would be the goal. but then what about the sankirtan ISKCON. it seems that everyone has a way. either way I think the best is the sankirtan. This blog is a therapy.

well I'll keep resisting somehow; and perhaps to-morrow the sun shine with such force that mowed my materialistic vision. Here's hoping.  

Now my days in Scandinavia almost ending for now. I hope to travel to Barcelona in two or three weeks.

Maharaj thank you

HpS -  Jaya!   No force! ​ Just suggestion, from Rupa Goswami in Bhakti rasamrta sindhu.  In the beginning it is Vaidhi bhakti.  By rules and regulations.     So, if we can make some standard for our selves, that we know is good.  That we know we can do, then we can defeat the crazy mind.   Can be to chant one round every Sunday no matter what.  What is good for us.   One round every Sunday for one month.  Then exam the results.

Of course, maybe the Karma is still to strong for that, then yes, try to chant as much as possible whenever you can. Read SB (to others (Krsna)), make You Tube movies for Krsna.

Hope you have a lot of devotee friends.

Hope for lots of news from you when you get to Barcelona.  Nimai and Gundica never write to us!!!!