AGTSP

AGTSSGN

PAMHO

Hare Krsna beloved Guru Maharaj,

Before starting with my report and hoping everything is in order with your health, I would like to ask how are you???

HpS - Our eyes are getting bad. Can't see too well. All else is O.K.   We are trying to sacrifice our sense gratification to do more service.

I pray to Lord Nrisimha, for Him to have us under his loving protection, how big is the refugee we can find in Him!!!!!!

Thanks for your response to my last letter. Especially for your good disposition by helping me in clarifying my doubts. Thanks, your words are always comforting and an inspiration for a fool like me...

Sadhana report: following strictly 4 principles, though i have to recognize that at a sutil level i haven´t been that strict….sometimes, there are some blinks of maya that keep rounding in my mind. When I notice that, I seek for shelter in japa and books. I don´t want the black witch to catch me!!!!! Chanting 16 rounds, for the reason I just mention, with some mind and difficulty……and happens that when I realized that I feel so low, because I promise you to chant 16 enthusiastic rounds, but i´m just keeping my vow of chanting……in the teachings of Lord Caitanya are mention the effects of the offenses at chanting, then I think I have to check that…..

HpS - When we put our life into do 1728 enthusiastic rounds and Maya says, "If you work so hard on your Japa as priority you will die!", we say just what you letter title says, "Today is a good day to die!".

Fixed with my services at the temple of flowers and garlands, also  i´m cooking for the deities and on Mondays i´m giving the BG class, which represents a big challenge for me, mainly because my personality is very in the mood of passion (I talk fast and loud, etc), so I think that maybe i´ve been faced in this service to polish those things ….. thanks to the coordination service of P. Jagat Guru Das, who makes the feedback of the class and help us with advice and provide guidelines so we can improve the quality of our service and personally I feel supported for polishing those things I have to work on….Please, please,  please, give me your blessings so I can do the best way my service, considering I am a donkey….

For some weeks, we have the visit of Nirantara Prabhu and for a curious arrangement, he asked me to be his translator for the classes in the temple and house programs (like bhakti vriksa) mailnly with the indian community, so  in addition to very interesting classes, we  have the chance to share very sumptuous prasadam!!!!!

I need to ask you something that’s been rounding my thoughts, because if Krsna is the Supreme Controller  and everything happens under his approval, where does the free will fits?? Because if everything is already decided, what are the chances of me making real effect decisions?? Or is it so true that the only decision we can make is if we are going to serve Krsna or maya?? And if I decided I want to serve Krsna, isn´t that also full of decisions??Years ago, while talking with Krsna, I told him that all I have done in my life is take bad decisions, so I give my life to him to please help me and guide it, but still, I feel i´m constanly facing having to make choices, and then I think, haven’t this already been decided by Krsna????

HpS - Look at www.jayarama.us/archives for our 'asa-enecyclopedia' file. Answer is there as "free will". We cut and paste it below.

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FREE WILL

(rev. 2015 march 26)

We are asked this question so often that we are putting our thoughts here. We may revise this in the future.

We are part and parcel of Krsna. He has free-will. He can make choices. He is all powerful, but He has given us free will.

So we can chose to try His position and then He created the material world for us to play.

In the material world in the mode of ignorance we are forced by our previous choices. We can be in the mode of ignorance, passion or goodness differently in our possessions, senses, mind and intelligence. Eg. one may be a very clean, nice college professor but in his heart he has the greatest illusion: By my austerities I will become GOD.

In the mode of passion we have choices but the pushes of our Karma are strong.

In the mode of goodness we can make real choices, even though they may be between mundane options. Eg. am I going to steal the money or not. That is how we create our future Karma.

If we make nice material choices, following the King’s advice, then that shows us we want to come closer to Him and eventually He gives us the chance to chose spiritual life rather than material life.

Even in spiritual life there are choices of different kinds of service.

SB 1.6.37  Is very, very nice answer.

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Something that i´m absolutely sure about is that Krsna have shown his infinite mercy upon me at allowing me to get in touch with His Name, Srila Prabhupada´s books, and all what is implied on them, His devotees, His adorable form....and so much more...  this have certainly make my life take a better course.....

Hoping for some day  be able to make a quality service to help you in the mission of Srila Prabhupada and fullfill the prediction of Lord Caitanya, your aspiring for servant,

Pundavanika Devi Dasi

HpS - Go ahead. Be an inspiration to everyone!