Dear Gurumaharaja, Hanumatpresaka Swami Maharaja, congratulations with your Vyasa Puja.
Please accept my humble obeisances.
All glories to our Srila Prabhupada!
In this journey called life, on this planet called earth, where life is so profane and yet so mystical, you have been drawn to His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada, and became an heir to his unparallelled legacy. But it was only after you saw academic life for what it was, something to make money with. This teaches that we can only let go of our mundane dreams once we've seen their naked reality.
You visit circles where you enlighten people in your own personal way of teaching Bhagavat-dharma, by using your experiences and vast knowledge and understanding of nature in the service of our Srila Prabhupada ("It is not always necessary to come to a conclusion, sometimes all you can do is get people to open up to new perspectives," certainly is a practical perspective), while at the same time you are working hard to establish a culture and basis for teaching and learning in ISKCON.
You are not one who is famous for going around the holy places of India to speak katha and do kirtan, rather, you sacrifice that for what you see that also needs to be done, putting to good use the qualities you've received from our Lord Krishna. Your working 'behind the scenes' is a humble effort, and that is a fine ornament.
Besides this, you manage to serve your disciples in so many ways, one of which is being present daily at fixed times to chant japa and do a little program together online, another being the blog where you deal with difficulties and idiosyncrasies of your disciples and others who show interest. Next to that, you prepare a nice class for the online community through the Hawaiian yatra. Holding disciples, many of who struggle to keep a steady and meaningful devotional life while not living in ashrams anymore, and some who do even while living in ashrams, is certainly above comprehension for one who's never took up such a duty. The spiritual subtleties of Guru-tattva are at work here, and we are learning along with you.
Just as learning to build a meaningful relationship from a distance. After initiation, the rest of life is there to learn how to balance duties. There are so many little practical pieces of wisdom that i am learning to implement in my life. Themes that hang around for a while, and then get replaced by new ones, in the hope that the old ones are implemented deeply enough.
I do not consider myself a high class disciple. Factually, i didn't even fulfill my vows 100% this year around. In spirit, i am quite dedicated, but it's that life is so overwhelming. My duties seem to become bigger the more i become more awakened and purified, and my ability to deal with them seems to be getting smaller. Waves of guilt wash over me, and i struggle to accept any honest attempts as 'good enough'. Are they really 'good enough?' I'm still terribly inclined to have things my way, and i attempt to change circumstances and others rather than changing myself. I'm just starting to wake up Gurumaharaja, and it is crazy and heavy. Life is heavy. Guru is heavier. Get up early and get your rounds done. Such a teaching. Such a savior.
When o when will be the day that i will call out the names of Gauranga!, Nityananda!, while walking along the banks of the Yamuna, completely intoxicated by love of Godhead, not caring about physical needs?
Thank you for picking me up, Gurudeva. May Lord Nityananda take you by the hand and deliver you at the lotusfeet of Lord Gauranga. And may we, disciples of yours, be allowed to serve you forever on, serving Srila Prabhupada and the previous Acarya's, who are all manjari's and other close associates of the Divine Couple. And may we be allowed to see and understand that, while we are in these embarrassingly limited bodies of ours.
Your servant,
Raghava Pandita dasa
ASA - AGTSP!!! paoho. Thank you for your thoughtful words.
"Rāghava Pandita brought with him various kinds of food for Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. The food had been cooked by his sister, Damayantī, who then packed it in bags (jhāli). Thus the stock of food was generally known as rāghavera jhāli, "the bags of Rāghava." "
Food for thought! <img alt="smiley" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="23" />
I think you are on the right path and there is nothing to do other than mature youre effort. It is not that you should do something very different or even more. It is just that you should do what you are doing with more concentration, let it become deeper and give you more strength them to go even deeper.
<img alt="smiley" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="23" /> <img alt="smiley" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="23" /> <img alt="smiley" height="23" src="http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/sites/all/libraries/ckeditor/plugins/smiley/images/regular_smile.png" title="smiley" width="23" />