All glories to Srila Prabhupada and sri gaura nitai
Hare Krishna guru maharaja
I hope you're well, my letter is anonymous this time, I do it for one reasons.
So no one will be offended and will not disturb the mind of any spiritual brother, and my mind. Gurudeva I respectfully write this, and I hope you can understand me and guide.
I am a disciple of you, I have a quiet spiritual life, with ups and downs like everyone else, but always conscious of Krsna, chant my 16 rounds and follow my principles, I have consistently sadhu sanga with some friends and devotees who visit the temple often, I am almost 10 years in this beautiful movement Srila Prabhupada, I've always been a calm and quiet person, I never like to be popular, or destacar in any activity in the temple, whenever my services were in love and selflessness, always follow all the devotees of senior devotee to new bhaktas, for me was always the same respect, At first it was difficult to adjust to some people, the yatra is a little strange, people talk a lot of other, inventing things, speaking ill of one for the other, and honestly I was raised differently, my education and values family is completely based on otherwise, often cry for this situation, but my faith and love for Krishna were provided are larger, and ignore all these situations.
and I was always conscious of Krsna, I always stood my ground, always follow your advice, and so I could get where I am now in my spiritual life. I lived every stage of these years with my strong faith, I have gone through many stages in my spiritual life, beautiful moments, difficult times too, I've state of bride, with devotee, and not to result in anything, by that currently devotees make what they want and already nobody wants commitments, my best friend's devotees, became distant people, I think it bothers them my personality or my life, I have good economic and spend little time I realize that it makes them uncomfortable, my parents have always given me the best, and I really like study, be presentable and more, apparently my friends and other people that are uncomfortable, but I do not understand why this situation ever happened, by the grace of Krsna, I have had the privilege of meeting other yatras outside my country too.
I told you a little about my life for my yatra, which a lot has happened and I'm still present in this beautiful movement, but you know, since almost my 30 years old, I realize that there are things that do not make me completely happy, I'm happy when I go to the temple, I see the deities, but then I feel uncomfortable. I struggle more with my mind, and feel not good in my yatra, for which I am grateful to be received at the house of Srila Prabhupada, I love being a devotee of Krishna, I love to sadhu sanga with all the difficulties and moments that are not pleasant to me.
but I'm at a point where I wonder how I can feel better? Krishna and the rounds are my only friends, why I keep standing firm, but you know this is a bit strong to say and every time I think about it I apologize to Krishna, there are people who are not devotees of Krishna (Karmis), which behave much better and politely that some devotees and this causes me a big impression, I know very well that I'm not perfect, nobody is perfect and does not judge anyone, and I have never discussed with anyone but you now. My question to you is, if I do not feel good in a place where I wanted help with my services, and which took nearly ten years and have never seen a change good for the yatra, I can find a new yatra where I can feel comfortable, maybe not 100%, because there are conflicts everywhere, but perhaps feel that beautiful temple to feel like my home.
what you think, you guru maharaja my current situation? I feel bad for having these feelings, I hope you do not feel offended by my letter, and I hope to help more devotees sit well with your response.
what advice you give me, and that guidance would be best in this situation?
Gurudeva Thanks, and sorry for the extended menu.
excuse my bad English and thank you very much for being my guide, thanks to my family, Krishna, Srila Prabhupada, and thanks to you, I have my active spiritual life.
says goodbye, your eternal servant.
Haribooool
HpS - ASA - Jaya! AGTSP. Thank you for you English. It is 97% comprehensible. You question is a big question and it is not answered in a brief letter. One thing is that to give detailed advice we have to know details of the situation, and that is not so easy unless we live in the situation also.
So first suggestion is that you should talk about this with local devotees, people.
Second is SB 5.18.12. Sometimes karmis, jnanis, yogis appear to have good qualities, but put them in the same situation as devotees and you see that these are only superficially good qualities.
Another thing is that ISKCON is not the only religious community on earth. So we can find people who are devotees from other religious groups also who can have good qualities, but if start to participate in their community like you are participating in ISKCON then you will see the same problems.
This is the material world. When Srila Prabhupada was asked by a reporter in Berkeley, "are there problems in you temples?", Srila Prabhupada said that, "this is the material world. There are problems everywhere". Even when KRSNA was personally present in VRNDAVANA there were demons coming and cause MISCARRIAGES for the girls!
You Yatra is not Vrndavana and Krsna is not personally present, no? So we can expect problems. They push us to get out of this place.
Best change of Yatra is to go back home, back to Godhead.
Soooo.... Yes, always look for better association. Preach to people who are in a lower situation if you can and if they don't want to listen then show a good example.
Don't expect perfection. Look for Yatra, within your Yatra, of nice people.
I see sooooo many problems in ISKCON, with devotees my age. I try to correct them, work with devotees like you.
Keep giving us your association through this Blog! This is a Yatra.
AGTSP!!! Write again as you need to! We will try to help as we can!!!