Hare Krisna!!!
Beloved and dearmost Gurudeva,
Please accept my humble obeisances at your divine lotus feet,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
Sri guru carana padma, kevala bhakati sadma,
vandon mui savadhana mate,
janhara prasade bhai, e bhava toriya jai,
krsna prapti hoy jaha ha te
This last months have been very intense for me. for who they werent?
Many challenges in my personal life and balancing sva dharma with sanatan dharma is a day by day struggling.
Due to different reasons i wasnt having a good sadhana, and as you know i left behind in my japa and of course as a consequence of that i broke a regulative principle.
The result bitterness in my heart i have lost the bliss of connecting with the holy names. Sorrow, etc
i feel very ashamed of course and stupid for what i have done.
Now somehow or other i woke up and little by little i'm recovering. Returning to a healthy pace.
I'm asking for your help gurudev, i really want to be a useful tool in this sankirtan movement and i know that strenght comes from purity.
Your answer to Dianita Lalita dd in http://www.hps.monkeywarrior.com/node/4303 is pretty clear about the way to go
" HpS - ASA - AGTSP! Paoho. It is amazing. Every single letter so far has been exactly the same:
Please forgive me for not writing so hard, I have been forced to work like an ass, I am struggling to chant and follow principles, I have bad association.
Ooooof! Amazing! Any "psychology" that minimizes the value of Japa is insane. Carl Jung, the whole world of competent psychologist can recognize that introspective chanting of the Names of God following the process of Rupa Goswami is without equal, if you really want to become secure, happy, ecstatic.
We love to drown in self-pity. Give ourselves rewards for our suffering, but it is all little pig like pleasures that don't even satisfy us but we try to make ourselves so stupid that they do.
We are all in Goloka!. We have become confused. Krsna is saying "Wake Up! Wake Up! Wolves are attacking the cows! We need your help!"
Put your Japa first and to hell with your family, body, life, country, fruitive activities described in poetical language. To hell with it all. Make universal happiness not universal blood-sucking!
This is what we tell our mind daily!!!"
Japa first, who doesn't know this, but why we skip this point so easily? i guess BG. 3.37 is the answer.
The reallity is that i'm not feeling so well in a daily basis. I feel myself in a dangerous position because of not having a definite asram.
You always say that good advice comes from many different advisors, so i consulted about this with different senior devotees and they all agree that i should get married again.
Then i remember your instruction about to wait until second initiation to define one's asram, cause then intelligence will be in the mode of goodness.
I'm in a dilemma gurudev. Please if you kindly bring some light for me in this situation?
Currently I'm 64 rounds behind, and determined not to act stupidly again.
We want to improve.
Please help me gurudeva.
Your unworthy disciple,
Nikunja Bihari Das.
HpS - ASA - Jaya! AGTSP! paoho.... You are almost as stupid as we are. Well I guess if you try hard you can catch up. Just put everything else in second place and chant at least 20 entusiastic rounds per day for the next 16 days.
HpS - ASA - Jaya! AGTSP! paoho.... You are almost as stupid as we are. Well I guess if you try hard you can catch up. Just put everything else in second place and chant at least 20 entusiastic rounds per day for the next 16 days.
HpS - ASA - Jaya! AGTSP! paoho.... You are almost as stupid as we are. Well I guess if you try hard you can catch up. Just put everything else in second place and chant at least 20 entusiastic rounds per day for the next 16 days.
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Tell us the results as often as you can.
