Hare Krsna Hanumatpresaka Maharaja,

Please accept my humble obeisances.  All glories to Srila Prabhupada and to you.

Thank you for being kind and merciful in your response to my last letter; I certainly do not deserve it.  I am trying to improve gradually, though I do not know if I actually am improving.  When I try to be strict to advance quickly, I tend to fall, so maybe I am not advanced enough to follow the regulative principles yet.  My mind can sometimes get overly enthusiastic about thinking I can be strict and advance quickly, but I am trying to be more gentle with myself and realistic, though I don't like to think that I have to.  I am working on it, and joined a support group online to try to kick the enemy of lust out of my heart, though I do not know just how gradual the process must be.  It would be nice if I could come to the standard before 2024, even nicer if it could be in 3-5 years, but I wonder if perhaps this life is more a preparation for becoming advanced enough by the end of it so that I can take initiation in the next body.

I will see you in about two weeks, and have taken most of that week off work.  On the 8th I will have to spend some of the day at court over a traffic incident.  I want to be of some small service, but I am not very pure of heart so I am not very qualified.  I feel I have let myself and you down due to my own weakness, but I am trying to take a somewhat positive attitude.  I like to think that my mind is calmer than it was overall, though there is still some anxiety; I have a ways to go before my spiritual life can begin.

Hoping to become a servant,
Bhakta David II

Hp S - ASA --- AGTSP. It was very, very, very nice to meet you and your esteemed wife. She seems like a very nice person. I think you are right. Be a little less passionate, more patient in try to advance,, but enthusiasm in the most important. Even if it is artificial put a smile on your face while you are chanting and you will see that you mind tries to figure out some reason to justify the enthusiasm and usually does.

The mind will try to satisfy your depression or enthusiasm, so give it a sympton of enthusiam.

Some fixed standard for Japa, moral life, even economic development for a few months  in consultation with your friends and then do it. You WILL make tangible progress!!