Hare Krsna Hanumatpresaka Maharaja,

Please accept my humble obeisances.  All glories to Srila Prabhupada and to you.

I have not written in some time, as I have been lamenting that I may never become advanced enough to be able to get initiated in this lifetime.

              HpS - ASA - AGTSP Well don't worry. Monkey and Piggy aren't initiated either. Who can you be???  Monkey and Piggy and Donkey??? I guess at every level we have to make decisions.

This is a great misfortune.  I am starting to think that perhaps some people need a few lifetimes of purification before they are able to be qualified to be initiated.

I spent 8 months at the Denver temple, including one month as a guest at the brahmacari ashram.  I now have an apartment 5 miles from the temple, and started a new job working 12 hours at night.  This is not the best schedule for sadhana because I should be waking early, but it may help me to advance in career.

I had a plan to live as a brahmacari for a few years and then remarry, but now I am trying to work things out with my wife.  I started to become concerned whether I could be celibate for the rest of my life perfectly, and concerned about not being able to treat pain.  Rather than cause offense to you after initiation, I will wait until I become qualified, though that may not happen.  I wish I had better things to say, but I am not perfect enough to be the minimum standard for a devotee, which to me seems so advanced that it is like having already achieved perfection.  I want to be able to go back home, but that requires being initiated.  I just hope that I eventually become qualified, and do not commit too many offenses.

Wishing that I was a servant,
Bhakta David II

               HpS - You are doing, damn, damn, well. Just stay in ISKCON cloud and don't commit offenses. Be who you are and make decisions to go up this fortnight!!! Lot of work to do.