Hare Krsna Maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I am happy to hear you enjoyed hearing of the associates of Sri Sri Radha Damodara. I do not know if the restaurant near Gita Nagari is open currently.
HpS - ASA - AGTSP we were asking about the Denver Temple's, Govinda's Buffet.
I moved to Denver 2 years ago from Maryland, so what I wrote of Radha Damodara's associates is from memory.
I left out a very important associate of Radha Damodara in my previous posting. Bhakti Tirtha Maharaja is very dear to Them, even to this day, for he is still alive in the spiritual world. There was a time when I was considering taking initiation under him, as he is very inspiring. I chose not to, because I had a sentiment that it would be nice if my wife and I could have the same guru. I could see in 2003 or so that might not be possible, as Maharaja was not going to be around forever in vapu, so I failed to get initiated. Since then I had looked at 3 other Maharajas for some time each, as Srila Prabhupada said one should look into a guru for some time before considering initiation, but did not feel as inspired or connected to any of them as I have to you. As I have mentioned, it did not work out in marriage, and some of that was that in the end, I was the one with a desire to surrender to guru.
Maharaja, I am going through an anartha right now. Spiritual life begins with initiation, correct?
HpS - ASA - As far we understand it is like investigating different schools, their curriculum, fee structure, character. In the course of that you may sit in on a few couses with the instructor's permission. Then you decide you want engineering not law and Mudge Coller, not Budge College, is the place for you. You satisfy the requirements for matriculation and start taking the courses. Some you have already had so you advance quickly but it is now formal and their is credit.
So does that mean what I am doing now, attending mangala arati (sometimes early to get a few rounds in), chanting 16 rounds (but 24-32 for the past month, sometimes only 20), only taking prasad the past 10+ years, no garlic/onion/mushroom, strict celibacy, no gambling/intoxication, occasional service for Radha Govinda, reading Srila Prabhupada's booka, prayer, etc, is all not spiritual life? Does this mean devotional service starts with initiation? I feel like the past 10+ years, and now while my chanting, mangala arati, etc have increased, that I am a big pretender, an offensive imitator, a rascal and a fool because I am not initiated.
HpS - Most of the answer above. Everyone is different. Prabhupada took long time to initiation after meeting Bh. Siddhanta Sarasvati. If you are sincere then the formality will happen, just like a boy and girl who are dedicated to each other. Chaste, but there still has to be a wedding. It is a formality but not a formality without meaning.
I want very much to be in the service of Radha and Krishna, but I am so fallen that I haven't even taken the first step toward coming to them (initiation). If someone new to the movement were to take initiation, they would be senior to me. If someone were initiated bit stopped following, at least they were initiated, whereas I am so lowly that even though I may be following (or at least appear to be following), at least they are initiated and are my senior, worthy of all respects. I am just a dog and an ass, but even a dog can chant, at least.
This has been troubling me for the past 10 years, but even moreso now that I am striving harder to finally attain to spiritial life.
Hoping to become,
Your servant,
Bhakta David II
HpS - Here is a classical discussion of this point. Little dense maybe. Tell us what you think! http://vedabase.com/en/cc/madhya/15/102
