HARE KRSNA - Diksa??

11 years, 2 months ago by Bhaktin Paula Quezada in Personal Sadhana Reports

HARE KRSNA MAHARAJA

PAMHO, AGTSP

First i would like to ask for your forgiveness for my Tarzan english and the offenses i´m certainly going to commt.

I am writing to introduce myself. My name is Paula Quezada, i'm 35 years old. Have a daughter, Antonia, she is 13. I was born in Los Angeles, California, but been living most of my life here, in chile. I know the devotees for about 12 years, after having a long journey through many movements and religions, when i got a pair of SP books through P. Arjuna Das's sankirtan at his mother´s store.

At that time, it confirms to me the existence of God, but due to my demoniac acctivities, i didn´t want to follow rules or regulations. It was in 2007, being on the brink and feeling absolute lost and hopeless that Paramatma express to me and make me remember "those books". Since then, its been a beatiful way, considering that without Ksrna it could be worst.

I took shelter on Srla Prabhupada´s lotus feet, focusing myself in doing anything that have to be done to please him, the only one who could save the life and change the history of someone like me.

But,the intensity of resistance was big, so i still wanted to do things my way. Now i understand it was my desire for control. It was SP throug the book the Raja Vidya, that makes me understand that without sanga there will be no more advacement. So, three years ago i decided to start attending SB and BG classes and make service in the temple.

Because of being a bookworm, reading SP books was and still is, such a perfect thing for me. Since then, i`ve been chanting my 16 rounds in japa beads and following four regulative principles. Did have some mayas, but for almost two years i´ve been very estrict with that, considering that it  is my spiritual master´s  advice for having a succesfull process.

Also, for about two years i´ve been making service working with the pujari for the deities clothing and jewelery and mandals and  curtains for the altar . I also like to knit vests for Sri Sri Goura Nitay, considering we´ve been having particularly cold winters. Also have the service of helping with the decoration for festivals and vyasa pujas.

The past new year (sound very wired no?) my daughter help me to decorate the temple for the celebration.Shes very favorable to make service with me. Thats been my fixed services. But since march, when i did have the chance due to some Krishna arrangement to stay for a few months as a resident  in the temple, that i also took the garland service. Actually i make them four days a week and been doind a deep investigation  to set a good standard for them (we were passing through some kali yuga degradation situation). And no matter what service i have i´m always willing to do anything that needs to be done at SP´s house (cleaning, cooking. etc. ).

I like to attend as many programs as i can, this is, Harinamas, maha sankirtanas, VB. Im actually doing the disciples course with P. Param Padam.

ASA -   AGTSP    paoho.....   Long, to many details for our small brain, so we scan ahead....

Last year i was in charge of the prasadam stand for the Ratha Yatra. Is there  a need to tell  that share with your holy association made ​​this one of the happiest moments of my life?? I think there is. So, this year im also going to participate in Ratha Yatra ki jay!! organization. P. Arjuna told me he wants me to work in the organization of stands department, and i (yes, me and my big me!!) would like to attend again the prasadm stand, because i think i have the experience so that we can improve our service there. But that´s in Krsnas, and P. Arejuna´s hands....

I stay in the temple as a resident untill june. Krsna made another arrengement for me, and now im staying with my grandmother. So, my sadhana is not as good as it was when i stay in the temple. I wake up at five to chant my rounds, and everything have to be very silent, so i have not been able to do mangal aratik as i would like to, but i trust that Krsna is going to make the arrengements so that i can do things as they have to be done soon.

Well, maharaj, the point here is that now i have to keep following SP orders. One of them said that " You must seek a bona fide spiritual master" and "One should approach a guru who can extinguish the blazing fire of this material world... If one is able to obtain the dust of the lotus feet of such a guru, his life becomes successful.He also said that "the true purpose of life is to return to the spiritual world". And in the moment i first saw you maharaj, in 2009, i knew that with your instruction i could go back home, back to Krsna. This is why im begging for your mercy for you to accept me as your foolish and insignificant servant. I´ve been attending the meetings of your deciples and trying to have sangha with them. I´m also reading what P.Patrak publishes in Kapi Dhvaja and assist your on line clases. As soon as i get internet at home, im going to conect to japa joe.

About two months ago i talk with P. Om Kesavaya for his formal recomendation for me to aspire to take Diksa initiation from you Maharaj. As long as i understand things are ok with them. Now, the rest and most important part  is in Krsnas causless mercy hands and your beatiful lotus feets (if they allow me to take shelter on them, though knowing im absolutely not wothy of it).

AGTSP for all the eternity and all the three worlds!!!

In a stupid attempt of trying to aspire to be your servant,

Bhaktin Paula Quezada

                HpS - ASA -  Jaya.  Read www.jayarama.us/kd/guru-tattva.txt and tell us what you think.  Short letters often is good way to communicate with Blog!     Thank you so much.   You must become great hero.  Just takes work.