HARE KRISHNA DEAR GURUMAHARAJA,  WELL, TRYING TO SURVIVE AFTER GIVING BIRTH A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL NAMED VRINDAVAN SUNDARI, PLEASE CAN YOU GIVE HER YOUR  BLESSINGS  SO SHE WILL ALWAYS SERVE  SRILA PRABHUPADA AND ISKCON.

           HpS - AgtSP!!!  Paoho.  Ooof!   Lot of work!!   All respects to your austerities!!!

NOW IM slEEPING LITTLE, AND WITH A TEMPORAL FAMILY CAOTIC SITUATION, I REMEMBER YOU EVERY DAY, DURING THE DAY DURING THE NIGHT, AND I WONDER WHEN WILL ALL THIS STUFF GET BETTER, ANYWAY, IM WORSHIPIN MY DEITIES NOW, I HAVE THE FORTUNE TO SERVE SRI SRI GOURA NITAI AND KRISHNA BALARAM TOO! 

IM GETTING BACK TO WORK LITTLE BY LITTLE, BY PHONE CALLS AND EMAILS, TRYING TO CHANT SOME ROUNDS TOO, PLEASE DONT THINK IM NOT TRYING BUT I KNEW IT WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE!  IM HOPING ALSO  WHEN WILL THERE BE SRIMAD BHAGAVATAMS FOR SALE?

SORRY FOR NOT COMING TO YOUR CLASSES, I WASNT FEELING OK, TO TRAVEL LONG DISTANCES, I REACHED   8 MONTHS 1/2 WITH THE UTERO BROKEN, IT WAS SO THIN THAT IT START TO BROKE IN SOME PARTS, FORTUNATELY, I WAS TAKING EVERY MORNING  A CUP OF GOAT   MILK, AND BECAUSE OF THAT I COULD SURVIVE UNTIL THE END OF PREGNANCY. NO MORE BABIES, TOLD ME THE DOC. DURING THE CESAREAN, IN THAT MOMENT I COULD REALIZE IM NOT THE BODY, I WAS SO USELESS THAT I JUST THOUGHT ITS TRUE WE ARE NOT THE BODY, THIS BODY CANBE DEATH NOW BUT I WILL STILL EXIST AND WORST THING.. STILL BE THE SAME MIND, THE SAME FLASE EGO....SO I WAS THINKING REALLY  IM NOT THE BODY, SO MANY CHANGES IN IT, PAIN, NO PAIN, THIN, FAT, NOT SO FAT,  YOUNG, OLDER AND OLDER....ETC.. THIS MATERIAL WORLD IS SO STRANGE THAT WANTS TO FORCE US TO ACCEPT ALL THIS SUFFERING AS TRUE, BUT I CANT, EVEN HAVING A BABY INSIDE IS SO STRANGE 9 MONTHS INSIDE AND ONE DAY OUTSIDE WITH TOTAL DEPENDENCY ON YOU... 

THIS IS NOT WHAT I SPECT OF LIFE, I LOVE KC! I LOVE TO DO SADHANA CHANT ROUNDS AND ITS FRUSTRATING FOR ME NOT BEING ABLE TO DO IT, AT LEAST FOR A WHILE.

I WAS SO FORTUNATE YESTERDAY THAT I COULD PARTICIPATE OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL VYASAPUJA AT SILLICON VALLEY,  IT WAS SO EXCITING,  SPIRITUALLY EXCITING,  WHAT YOUR DISCIPLES SAID AND HOW THEY FELT, SO MUCH SINCERITY... 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH GURUDEVA... LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

            HpS -  Jaya!  Hare Krsna!!!!!!          Chant while your baby sleeps!